Becoming a professional me! The spirituality of being myself.

Why I became a professional me! I decided to become a professional me instead of becoming just a counselor or art therapist, or minister (though I think I’m all three and a writer of sorts; and have training in all these areas, as well as some in art). Yet, I chose to hang my passing professions on the hook of identity.

I’ve worked to allow Him to make me me, and let all the expressions flow from there. Identity has been my main place of meeting God, or my spirituality. It seems to me, He wanted it that way, in my case, for some reason. To emphasize me, as a way of revealing Himself!

For some people, He likes foregrounding identity through me. So I have to die lots in that area: Not I, but Christ, so I know the real I, sort of thing. At least that’s how my journey has unfurled. When I’m being me, I meet God. I stay in His Name, and He whispers mine.

Professions are sort of like hats I wear. The important thing is that the I is there to wear the hat. So I’ve focused on that part in my life.

My favorite bible characters were very much themselves, and God used their autobiographies as part of His Message: Jeremiah, King David, St Paul etc; those whose personal story were part of their message. Those who became in themselves living portents or signs, as David put it. I’ve always been inspired by that. Sort of like the end of Johnny Cash’s career. The man himself, was the song, or became the song. I’m drawn to that way.

The challenges are, you have to really die to self often. So that it’s not an ego-centered thing. To sing the song of yourself in the right way, as David did in Psalm 139, to really see yourself as God’s poem, you have to die often. Otherwise, like most artists you get narcissistic. There are other challenges, but like Bono, you really do have be dead enough inside to “play” Bono on stage, and not take that persona too seriously. Or know that it’s one expression coming from who he really is.

He chose to make my story His Testimony, and in some sense, He does this with everyone. But some He specifically emphasizes their identities, as His method of telling about Himself. Your personal autobiography, becomes part of His. That’s how it’s been in my case anyway. Who I really am, is where I meet God the most. So I practice being more and more “in Him”. As I do, He lets me be more and more me. That’s His method through me. That’s why I became a professional me.

For, when I’m being myself, others see Him. It’s a little ironic. But the core practice is still, not I, but Christ, yet when I do this, He emphasizes my real “I”–ie the part which is actually “in Him”. Hidden in Christ, we truly are. The part which is abiding in Him, is our true self. For some reason, in my life, He chose to wear my name out, so to speak. He likes wearing me like a garment, so others can see. I like hanging in his wardrobe closet! The wardrobe closet of Christ is the best ever.

I tend to be drawn to others who have this one of a kindness type of spirituality. People like Thomas Merton and Henry Nouwen were so singular, specific, one of a kinders. People you say of: “they’ll never be another like that; after they made them, the broke the mold.” Sometimes God does that to reveal something about Himself. Johnny Cash and even Robin Williams had that type of singularity, where their story became His in some sense. But Jeremiah had it even stronger! I’ve got that type of calling. The calling of authentic identity. It has it’s own challenges, but as I get older, I can’t really not be me anymore.

When I take selfies, I am just letting Him celebrate Himself through how He made me. To celebrate identity itself as a sign pointing to God. It’s really not about, and yet fundamentally is, about me myself. This is why I choose to often tell my own life stories when I speak or write. Like the one of talking that man off a bridge in Paris, or being at 911 etc. When I tell my stories God shows up because that’s where I meet Him. My stories are how He filters Himself. When I am being me, you should sense Him nearby.

So I decided to become a professional me, so others can see and meet My Friend Jesus. And I hope I become the song of myself He is singing through me, because when I do, you will hear The Song of songs–the Song of Christ. And I want to fit Christ like a royal glove, so I keep myself malleable in His Love. For when I am being me, others can see. So I’ll go on being me.