Van Gogh and me, a lifestory! Van Gogh and I, and a guy named Noah:

I first encountered Van Gogh in a closet. Someone had put an old print in a corner of my parent’s closet. At the same time i discovered it, i was friends with an older artist named Noah, who did mostly abstract expressionist pieces. One, i remember, was called “The Face of God”-it was a black and white cosmic piece. I liked Noah, and I immediately liked Van Gogh’s work as well.

One was more representational than the other, but both spoke to my developing heart about a larger reality, a higher ground. I’d always seen angels and mystical things, so I knew the tree was more than just a dogwood, that it also symbolized Trinity itself, in the case of the dogwood tree, had always seemed obvious to me.

Noah killed himself soon after i discovered Van Gogh in the closet, and it was very sad for me. It made me wonder about the artistic pursuit of seeking truth and God. And it made me want to make a haven for artist, even at a young age before I could even shelter myself.

Later, i started a ministry called “Noah’s Other Boat”. It was for the Noah’s or life seeking artists who were pursuing a truer center through art. But the metaphor also included all the discarded things God wanted to preserve, as the animals were in the bible story of Noah.

All those vulnerable creatures, God wants to preserve from the floods of destruction, dissipation, and dis-integration on every level. To provide a place of safety and integration, a floating studio of healing or making things whole again.

Of course, Van Gogh also killed himself. I think if I would have known him, we could’ve talked it through, but one never knows. Still his art has more life than most people ever live.

When I went to Arles, and visited many of the other places he painted, I could see what he saw there, and how he wanted to share it. A kind generous soul really.

But there was no Noah’s Other Boat for him, outside of his relationship with his brother Theo (their letters are gathered in “Letters to Theo”). Their correspondence is so tender. I still read it for inspiration.

Anyways that boat went with me all the places I’ve lived: Winston Salem, Richmond, Boston, Albuquerque, San Francisco, Austin, Prague, Antwerp, Paris…the heart of that boat for artist and the discarded has never stopped floating in me. Probably never will.

Artist are like spiritual astronauts, and it’s not easy being green, as Kermit said, especially if you are flying between realms, i would add. Artist are also like knife sharpeners under water! They deal with keen perception of where mystery dwells. They like the prophets live between worlds, and bridge heaven and earth.

I used to draw this little man walking a wire between earth and heaven with music as the sky between. It was one of my first dottles in a sketch book. Over the years, this little stick figure has returned and the map has gotten more clarified. I’ve added saints and angels for instance, and rays of musical notes. I’ve added cities and even smoke.

But at the end of the day, we all have human heart problems which need to be solved so we can live well, and continue with meaningingful lives.

Recently when the great fashion performer and designer Alaxander Mcqueen died, and then more recently Robin Williams, I had that same feeling in my gut as I had when my friend Noah died. How sad there was no boat to carry them home. If only i would’ve known, i could’ve at least given them directions to the ark! King David was an artist and he knew the direction. And how to live near the ark. I hope I’ve learned better how to live near it.

Artist, not unlike ministers, tend to struggle most with finding a meaningful context. Entertainment isn’t satisfying enough, neither is celebrity. Both offer forms of validation, but not of the heart, as you can see by the number of suicides, or burn out. There must be a higher context for the arts, and for ministry on that note- something more spiritually grounded, I’ve always felt. The Ultimate ground of being, must be somehow livable, and able to connect to in a practical fruitful way.

We also often need a better philosophy of the arts, or better yet, a theology of the imagination. I’m still working on mine, but we need a context, for our creative quest-ions. “Artists wrestle with Reality itself.” That’s a tough match, so guidebooks along the way are welcome, as are havens from the floods of dissipation as St Peter called it, around us. Beauty is medicine for ugly times, as someone wiser than me must have said by now. So it the endless quest, highlighted by artists, for what is Real, essential, absolute, what really matters. Saints monks and artist overlap in this pursuit. Some make it to the gate, other’s turn back, some walk all the way in, and find Love and true self acceptance.

Anyways, Noah’s Other Boat is still afloat! And, it appears, needed now more than ever.