Some more gleanings from counseling: some thoughts on healing in ourselves and others.

In counseling aren’t we really seeing the inner narrative of the other person’s journey, trying to help them remove blocks, and offering hope that there are many more chapters in the story! Of course, that takes prayer and insight (seeing where He is in the other person’s inner house, and what He wants to work on renovating next!), but really the story is already going on before you get there; so lots of counseling is about finding the true story, and helping guide the lines out! So the whole poem can be pronounced. In counseling, it is as if we are helping overcome writer’s block in people. Or being written blocks, at least!

Sometimes, we go back to blocked or locked rooms from the person’s past, sometimes we clean and grieve through rooms in the present. Sometimes we jump forward to the future healed space, to gain hope for the present. We counsel in all directions, while knowing there is a whole story already going on in us all. An identity and a path prepared beforehand to be each person’s way! We are trying to let Him into the whole house, so it is illuminated! Often one room at a time.

Some dams need to be removed from early in the river. If you use the metaphor of each person as a river, instead of a house. There are dams along the way through time! Usually the earliest ones require the most work, but also can be torn down the quickest! Conversion does this. But then along the way, there are other dams of various sizes which need to be worked on. I’ve been studying how beavers build, tear down and relocate dams as a metaphor for healing. Fun study. They work in family and community for one!

If you picture your life as a river, where are the blocks or dams? Which ones are you working on in this season. How did ones which have been removed come down in your journey? Notice patterns. Each dam is unique, but has similar patterns—usually, conviction, confession, grieving, and placing some new life to grow into in that area! He usually guides you to those places to work on, through prayer, or just life experiences which make it clear there is a block ready to be removed or dealt with.

Then it’s time to get to the Cross, in confession, thanks, grieving, and then often more thanks…personal grieving take different times and pacing for different people; then, afterwards, listen for understanding of what He wants to plant in that area instead. To get to know Him through healing. We often just make it about ourselves, but actually healing is as much about getting to know who He is, and how Kind and thorough He is in making us more whole.

Certain seasons, healing then becomes our way or method of getting to know God. It may feel selfish or self absorbed at first, but not when we really make it about Him. We have to know what season we are in. But if it’s a healing season, then dive into Him in that place. Don’t miss out, for usually He is preparing you for new life and seasons, and has a clear reason why He’s working on each part of us in order.

You can also tell if someone is healed in a certain area, by if there is Love and true concern for others in that area.

Another thing I’ve learned is if you pull something out, be ready to plant something new in that place! Because it’s good compost for growing things strong! Don’t waste your compost!

Usually God deals with core wounds first, so they stop feeding the dead patterns or smaller wounds later. So if you were rejected as a kid by parents or the world, He often starts with that core wound of rejection, and then works through all the patterns you’ve walked out from that wound of expecting rejection—false defense etc. fear of others, isolation etc…find your core wounds, and let Him work on them; that frees up easier or more fluid healing in others areas of your life patterns.

When you take something out, you need to put something in its place which has new life in it! More gleanings from counseling soon friends! Fun thinking about what I’ve noticed thus far!

Often also you can use some of the materials from the torn down dams for other purposes. You can re-purpose your wounds, or at least loose materials from where they were before, in this sense. Sort of like in the book of Joshua when they messed up the first time in Ai, but God used there mistake as part of his strategy! Once new life is in that place, you can use some of the older materials to build other things.

Don’t waste your trials! Learn how He heals if you are in a healing season. Healing then becomes your seasonal spirituality or place of meeting. I went through many healing seasons, and am sure there are many more to come. I think He got into and broke down my core wounds, but there are so many echoes and other dams which continue to get cleared. The wound is healed first, then the patterns which resulted from them!

I enjoy meeting Him in times of healing. And meeting him now, in times of helping others heal. We are not our wounds, but what is meant to be planted in those places which were most hurt, often does tell us lots about who we really are. Our wounds are a keyhole into true identity! And where we were wounded often reveals or uncovers our callings in life towards others! We often get even more of Him in those exact places or hurt, for these are where we come to know the One who knows all our griefs. To the degree we know Him in a certain area of our lives, we can offer Him and His healing Life to others!

Often having the most ability to bless others in the exact places where we were most hurt.

So you see people like St Paul who really overcame racism, but had that racial pride as a core wound which God had to heal over time. Etc. Our wounded areas often become our greatest areas of His Authority, as others have pointed out. Assuming we allow them to get healed, and are not just acting from bitterness in those area. Un-dealt with wounds calcify into hatred and bitterness usually projected outwards on others.

You see this happening now between races and genders. When the wound is dealt with, as I have seen in some native american saints who learned to forgive, they often have the most love even for those who had abused them. It’s a way of healing. Always ask what is meant to be planted in this place where this wound or block or dam is? Usually just beneath the dam is an important clue as to your true identity and purpose in life.

Racism is also usually rooted in an un-dealt with wound; some lack of forgiveness towards an earlier or even generational abuse. But it requires the same healing process to become free from it. There are of course collective cultural wounds as well—fear or hatred of others then gets systematized. But the healing process is the same. Sometimes we have to go back and be little priest for ourselves and our generations as well to learn to not walk in abusive patterns ourselves.

A healed person in a certain area, always speaks in love, and often has unique wisdom in that particular area! Good to listen well to those who have actually healed in an area, you may want to learn to heal in also! How did it work for them. How did they get Love into that area of their lives. We are always trying to get that Voice of Love and gentle guidance into those areas.

What wounds or dams is God dealing with in your life this season? How can you allow Him in, and start to plant new life in that area, as a way of getting to know Him better? How is He handling that area. What are His methods of intervention? All these questions are not just about getting healed, but getting to know Him more! Healing is not solipsistic if we head at it in this way!

And it helps those around us when we are healed in each area! For, we can then turn and heal others. We have to be willing to heal, if we are to help others heal as well. It’s easy to point out the motes and unhealed areas in others, without dealing with our own. Start in us, then we may be useful in helping others. The first stone to move or throw out is always in us! For we all have fallen short of the glory of our true stories!

Even in our times, you can tell those who have actual authority to speak, are those who have healed in that area (always look for the tone of Love, for that’s where God is already formed and present in a person or conversation). The rest have anger or bitterness behind their words and are actually less effective in bringing change! Once we are healed, we want to partner in healing others. As we are being made whole, we are able to turn and help others become more whole-more themselves! We can only impart what we already contain. Healing then becomes a salve and balm for others in the exact areas where we ourselves have been most broken.