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Preparational prayer for entering into expressing His Divine communications

23 Wednesday Jul 2014

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A Prayer before ministering prophetically: (this is one i often pray before trying to express something God has placed on my heart for another person)
God of Grace, thank You that You are here, speaking and communicating Yourself to this person, and into this situation. So we want to incarnate this Voice through Your Word and Your words. We thank you that you incarnated Your Word in your people, and that You continue to do so. That You are a God who likes to communicate to us individually, for You love us not just in a generic sense, but in a practical incarnate specific sense. Help us today, to hear Your particular voice, and speak from that. And to speak it of express it with Your exact tone of being. Your holistic orientation to each person astounds us! Open our own creativities so we can express Your whole Word! Not just the information, but the incarnation, the nuances of Your communication! Help us be holistic vessels, expressive vessels of Your ongoing communication to each person, place, and situation. Let us move then, in Your Wisdom, of how to communicate Your knowledge into this person or moment. And, let me not be a distraction from that Word! Thanks that You are here. Help us all to hear and sense, feel and resonate in Your words for us today! We step out together in faith and listen and hear Your words and creative expressions for us today friend! Thanks again, for drawing so near to us, and that You chose to make Yourself known in Jesus on earth, and now through His His Holy Spirit! And now we activate your gift of the prophetic here in this virtual room today–open our spirits to Your Holy Spirit to hear, see and sense what You have to reveal to us today! In and because of Jesus Name–His very Identity which is living and forming in us, Amen!

I seed into…

23 Wednesday Jul 2014

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Seed into
Seed into the eternal in one another, in yourself, and in all you see! Speak into the eternal from your eternal-what goes beyond these dying cages! Seed into the eternal. Speak life into what you see is True in one another, and will always be. I speak to you, Life forever-from what is Life in me! I speak into your forever self–Life and felt Love! I will seed into the eternal, my friend. That’s what we do here. We speak into that place that none of us has been, but we already know–that place that has to be believed to be seen and lived from. So today, I speak into your eternal self–and say YES!!! I see you here, and there friends! We will be! I seed into what is truly you!

God You turn me on!

Interview

17 Thursday Jul 2014

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I found this interview that this lady from Beyond magazine did with me a while back, and i still sort of liked it. It seems down to earth. I must have been very relaxed that day. I think it was up in New Mexico after an arts conference, but don’t exactly recall. Anyways thought I’d post it here. She sent a longer excerpt where i was a bit more poetically, but I liked this part most.

What’s been most interesting to you in life?
I think i was always most interested in the spiritual realm. It just always felt like there was more than what was visibly here! I felt angels and saw things as a kid, which made me never doubt that there was another realm this one rested on or was in continuum with. At times, I would get confused in that realm between the darker parts and the lighter ones, but once i figured out which was which, it was a clear choice to me. It was also obvious that Jesus was at the very center of the higher spiritual realm, and that all spirits recognized this! I’ve never met a spirit that has not heard of Jesus. That was like my evangelism in California–evangelized by angels, you could say.. You would mention Jesus and all the spirits would shift. Those serving Him would perk up or move closer; the others would flee or protest, then flee. There is not question about who Jesus is in the spiritual realm. That made it even more obvious to me that He was who they said He was in the Bible. Since, then our friendship is very close. I don’t ever feel far from Him. I have had to learn lots, and still there is so much of the Father that I have barely touched. But Jesus was never a real question to me-always a reality! That’s why I never understood people not getting Him. Of course, I understand people being frustrated with His Church. But not Him Himself. It’s just so obvious that He is God.

what interested you in school?
Not much…well, really, religion and art were all that captivated me. And there’s an intersection there–the two are both interested in touching the thing behind the thing, if you know what I mean. The ultimate, the absolute, the philosophers of art would call it. I also studied comparative symbols between mystical traditions–that’s what my final thesis was about. Again, because I was interested in how people symbolized the spiritual realm. My dad was a minister, but when I was a kid, he was an anthropologist and would go on cultural digs and bring back artifacts–i think that sort of fascination always captivated my imagination.

In college I studied religions because I wanted to see what other cultures thought about God, or how they framed the spiritual realm. None of the religions does not believe in a spiritual realm. And I felt at least that’s honest. If you don’t believe in a realm beyond what we see, you have a hard time existing I think. And that has to be a starting point. I don’t think I know any artist who doesn’t believe in some other spiritual realm. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always gotten along so well with artists! But also most religious folks know there is more than meets the eye. Now what I discovered was that lots of religions sort of get trapped in lower rungs of spiritual reality, and end up not getting to the highest, or the core that holds the whole together. They worship the tree instead of the One who made the tree, sort of thing. Or they meet a high ranking demon, and see power so worship that demon, or demons. To me that never made sense either. Why would you worship the children and not the father?

what of spiritual practices from other religions?
I get why people use drugs to see other realms, but what I always felt was once there in the other realm, its not very helpful to be on drugs. And its much easier to get there by confession into worship anyways. With Jesus, your entering heaven with and through a friend–so it’s just easier, by Grace, than by effort. Deep meditation and body tricks are just much harder than walking into heaven with a friend. I like that Christianity is centered in friendship basically. And then the walk, is just getting to know your friend better. That just makes sense to me, rather than working so hard at spiritual practices.

How does art fit into spiritual practice or praxis?
Art creates portals of course. Portals into an unseen dimension. There is just no denying that fact. Some stop there, but I always wanted to poke open the portal and see what was on the other side. When I got there, i found Jesus. The Reality of Jesus, not the concept. I still make art because, I think its a place I commune with Him most. And it’s fun for me. He likes me to have fun. I don’t think i use art for my own healing anymore. Not often anyways. Not that I have finished healing, but I think when I was younger the subject matter of lots of my art was my own healing. That’s true with many artist I think. So, for me, I think art now is really about meeting God in the imaginative realm. It’s a tabernacle or place of meeting for me.

what sort of spiritual training have you done?
Well, mostly its been mentors–people who’s life practice and spirituality intersected and interested me. My father firstly, probably, then a series of artist and healers. There was a rabbi artist i lived with for seven years during school, then an art therapist up in boston, then a seminary professor–but I think i’ve learned from those types of teachers who model their teaching by living well, and basically live out the fruits of the Spirit. Training is tricky–everyone has different learning styles. Mine is relational. I think I’ve mainly been trained by The Holy Spirit–not in some uber-religious way, but just been led into the things I’m supposed to learn about God next. I also think I’ve learned lots through reading biographies and autobiographies. I always feel the people who wrote them, and commune with what they have learned. Officially, I got a degree in comparative religion and then studied art therapy at a graduate level, then went on the seminary. But I don’t think most training happens “officially”. And neither did mine–it was, as my spirituality is, relational mostly–pastors, rabbis, artists, people.

what do you want to do when you grow up?
Well, if that ever happens, i think to live well is one part. I love making art, and i really like ministering to people from the supernatural. So i think in a funny way, I’m just combining the passions of my parents. My dad as I said is a minister, and my mom’s an artist. So guess i am sort of an art minister. I really like offering a context for the artistic process, and I like helping people integrate their art and their spirituality. I’ve been doing that for a while, even helped start a community which was intentionally trying to integrate creativity and spirituality. Lately, i have also really liked big brothering or mentoring. But I think i tend to just live out as a model or way more than anything. I love that verse where David said, he had become a portent or a living symbol. I want to do that! I was born on St Patrick’s day, and I always liked how Patrick became a symbol more than anything else. He only wrote two little books, but we still tell crazy stories about his spiritual exploits. I think that’s the sort of thing I will do when I grow up! There’s this funny line in a Thomas Merton interview, where he said he always wanted to be a saint. I’m not sure i would aspire to that-i think it would make me take myself too seriously-but i would like the art of my life to resonate on the earth as a sign of hope which kept people inspired and interested in more of what is here! To live an inspiring life very close and in Him, really. I remember i had this dream where this well known prophet person was going around giving these amazing words to all the people around me, then he came to me, laughed, and just said, be in Him! So i think i will stick with that one.

He is waiting at our wastelands

27 Monday Jan 2014

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The bible is filled with metaphors of spiritual growth. Pictures of how God forms Himself in people. One of the patterns which is revealed is seen in the book of Jeremiah, the prophet. What we see in the life and expressions of this prophet is that God’s Heart is always present at the edge of abandoned or wasteland spaces–whether they be in people or cities. He is there, and wanting communion in His Suffering and passionately complex longing to cultivate and make whole that area. The book of Jeremiah gives us a window or keyhole into The Heart of God at the gates of our wastelands. In this, there is a powerful motivation for the fuller formation of Christ within every area of our lives! One of the motivations for spiritual growth is a revelation of His Heart waiting at the gates of our wastelands!
Jeremiah, has lots to reveal about how God makes things–people, cities nations-whole. It illuminates the healing or sanctification process in people and lands. Why would God spend an entire book of the bible expressing His feelings about something? There is a key to healing here, on a personal and collective level. This key is about being willing to sit with Christ in His suffering for areas of self or others or cities and nations which are abandoned or wastelands.
For each of us, some areas of our lives are abandoned and other areas cultivated. We must go find Him at the gates of our abandoned rooms or spaces, so we can be with Him in His cultivation of that part of our lives.
A wasteland is a place where His Presence and Life are not allowed to be. There are many reasons God laments a wasteland. And there are many reasons we have wasteland areas within us! Sometimes it is just ignorance that there is land there at all. Other times, these abandoned areas are places we are willfully excluding Him from. Other times, we have simply been too afraid or lacked the trust that He is already waiting there. Whichever the case, the way Jesus meets us in these areas, is to express His Heart. He is already collecting a thousand laments and pleading poetry at the gates of our wastelands. He is already there. I think one of the keys to seeing these wastelands reoccupied and made fruitful, is to meet Jesus at the gate or door of these rooms in His Heart–to let ourselves feel His Heart for these internal wastelands, and confess then grieve with Him that He has not been allowed to bless that land. This is often the way into His healing of our inner and outer wastelands.
In prayer for cities, we move in authority when we are sitting in His Heart for a city. We have authority to the degree we are in fellowship with His Sufferings for that place. That is real prayer power for cities. We need His Heart to pray with authority!
My point in this little essay is that Jesus is already writing whole books oozing from His Heart about each area within ourselves we have not allowed Him into. Our job is to commune with Him in that place, And He desperately wants to enter them and make them beautiful again. This is also true with other people, and things around us–our cities and nations. Jesus is there expressing all His Feelings about those areas, and His longing to make them fruitful and beautiful and in order. He wants to enter, and the entire book of Jeremiah is about Him expressing His Heart to enter and make whole. His emotions are complex and intense towards every area of who we are individually and collectively.
Jeremiah channeled the emotions of God throughout his writings. And there is a reason, God wanted to express Himself in this way towards that particular moment in the journey if His People. He wanted us to know, not only has He not abandoned us, but He has intense passion to enter in and partner with us in making every area of lives sing in His Wholeness and Beauty. He knows the plans for us, and He already has His Heart engaged for us. Part of His Plan is that we commune with His Heart in our own healing journey, and then partner with Him in healing others. There is always personal transformation and helping others be formed more fully in Him. The two often work in tandem. To the degree Christ is formed in an area of my life, i can partner with Him in helping form that area in another!
This year, God is taking much “land” in people and the world; one of the keys to collaborating with God in this work is to know and sit with Him in His Heart for these areas. His Heart which has never left that space, was always there waiting to be known, and has stored up the poetry of His Own Inner Feelings towards it. Our heart melts in meeting Him in His! We are immediately alieved and motivated to allow His Formation in that area of our lives!
This is one of the strategies of spiritual growth. To be with Christ in His Heart towards the abandoned places within ourselves, and others, and the world. And to fellowship with Him in the complexity of His Sufferings and longings to cultivate those areas into their intended beauty and wholeness. The whole book of Jeremiah illustrates this process.
Many will not sit with Him in His Heart, so they cannot enter with Him into these rooms of being. But we must, in order to get to know God even through our own healing. God wants to reveal to us the nature of His Heart even through our own healing process. That is one of the reasons or even motivations for healing–to know, appreciate and therefore love God with all our hearts! We meet Him there, feel our guilt, confess, and start to feel His excitement over what this area could become in Him; then we go in and learn The Ways in which He cultivates! The healing process is a way to get to know Christ Himself. This is true both in our personal healing and in partnering with Him in the healing of other people or cities and nations.
We can already commune with His Heart in the abandoned spaces within us–our inner wastelands. Why? Because He is already there pouring out His Heart. That is one of the hopes offered by God’s offering the book of Jeremiah in the bible. God cares intensely about every part of who we are, and wants to enter in and cultivate and make bloom again. As we commune with His Heart in these areas, we start to see our inner rooms get decorated in His Glory and shine in their proper contours!
So it is not just about sitting and being depressed, or getting stuck there at the entrance of a wasteland. “I’m not worthy?” Of course your not, but He is there and has strong feelings about this–that is our motivation for spiritual growth, or fuller formation of Christ in us!! When we see Jesus at the gates of our wastelands, we are not depressed, but ecstatically hopeful for His Formation! Our exalting comes from the gladness that He is already there with such a radically effusive heart towards us and our growing into and with Him! That’s the spark and fire for personal transformation! Sometimes we are just beating ourselves up, when He is asking us to feel His Heart, and offering forgiveness and motion forward towards fruitfulness. When we commune with His Heart, we are alleved of our selfishness or ignorance, and can move on towards wholeness!  We can move on with Him, confess our sins-for knowingly or unknowingly not allowing Him in; weep with Him for our wastelands, and then we can go in with Him and start painting our own house again, making it into His Home or dwelling! He is there at our blocked spaces, just as He is in the more mature parts of self. He is there with His Heart on His Sleeve waiting for us to catch His Tears!
 There is something in Jeremiah’s life and writings that teach us both the intensity of God’s Heart for us, and the value. We value God’s Heart for we know that He is so passionate for our best and fullest expression. We know that He is radically in our corner. And even if angry or fierce, is for us, not against us. It is another area of how God reveals who He is. He is an intensely loving God, not just a kind benevolent overseer–but very fiercely emotionally involved in human affairs and transformation God! There is nothing passive about the God revealed in the book of Jeremiah! He’s a raw emotive poet, pouring out the full range of His Emotions for His People and their cities and land. This gives us hope again, that He is not done with us, and that He desires deeply to see us made whole in Him! But it also shows us that He is already there on the edges of our wastelands emoting His Heart! This is our motivation to press on in the spiritual journey.
We enter the gates of thanksgiving, because He is already there. And because of this metaphysical/spiritual fact, we are thankful.
If we see spiritual formation as a journey like the Jews-from slavery (Egypt), into knowledge of His Ways (Wilderness), towards occupying and cultivating with Him the lands within ourselves and in others (crossing over into our promised lands)-our cities and nations; we start to see that the way forward spiritually is through communing with His Heart over and over, in each area of our lives, towards the full blooming and expression of what we truly are in Him.

that space we all need

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

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let that space be
as big as it needs be for this artist-
so we can all come home
shining in the unique contours
of our own expectancies…

 

Clothing a City: Dressing for the party!

06 Monday Jan 2014

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 I love learning about cities and their stories. Cities are like people to me, and people wear clothes to express who they are. And when you see them as people, their story starts opening up-undealt with wounds become obvious, and destiny starts to come into focus! My concern is always identity and how we express it, and this is my draw in studying cities as well. I can read a city most quickly through her symbolic life, or culture-how she clothes herself in symbol. This is the same with people–how they dress express, advertise etc.What is her identity? Where did she begin, where is she now, and what needs to be healed to move her to where she is heading…? Always the same questions with people also! I really enjoying being aware of what i enjoy about what i am doing also. Watching Him, watch me as I watch something like a city–that awareness is a particular pleasure.
 (What aspect of your city, do you like to just watch or behold? What amazes you about where you are from? How does this characteristic relate to your own personality or story? What type of clothing is your city wearing; and what type is it meant to wear? Describe the fabrics and textures of your city’s symbolic or cultural life).
 As children we try on costumes to imagine being someone else, or a very grand version of ourselves. Costumes have the power to help us step into another’s life-to imagine life from a different angle. Costumes or clothing also have the power to give us an experience of our true selves. In short, clothing has the power to help us imagine ourselves more clearly–to have a truer self image.
 (What clothing would your city wear which would help it feel more truly itself?)
 When we wear what we imagine our eternal self wearing in heaven, we start to enter the continuum of true identity–we start to feel more like ourselves. We see this when our wife has on that certain dress which just brings out her inner beauty!
 It’s easy to see when someone is wearing something which “suits” who they are. Or when we try on a jacket which feels “just right”. Wem Wenders captures this sensation in his documentary “notes on fashion, cities..” This sense that we become “more ourselves” when we wear a certain garment. Now let’s take this out to cities. What clothing does your city wear. If she were a person, how would you dress her.
Just take your camera down any street and you will get some clues by how people actually dress. Is it colorful? What are the textures of the fabric of your city? Is her expression based mainly on reacting to a wound, or is she truly expressing from her real self? Important question to ask in cities in eastern europe for instance which are still fearful of true self expression.
 When I travel, i often try to dress as the city i am visiting just to start to get a feel of who it is. I ask myself, how would God garment this city. How does He see it? How would this city express itself, if it were uninterrupted by the history of sin and its effects? What would be a pure heavenly expression of this city? Often we only get glimpses of this in prayer, when praying for a person or city; but i like to “try on” the true image of that place. Basically asking what will this city look like when Jesus is in charge again!
 It is good in our personal lives as well, to imagine ourselves as God sees us, and try allowing Him to move us towards incarnating that image. Symbol preceeds fuller incarnation–the principle of, the priest go first! Like the Levites who had to cross over the Jordan before the people could enter, so the symbolic activity comes before the fuller incarnational expression. So when we dress as our true selves, we start to move towards true identity. In short, our true image guides us to a fuller expression of our true self.  This is the prophetic use of clothing, or the symbolic in general, as a healing (or making more whole) agent.
 We learn about inner life of someone, by reading their outer expressions. We learn about a city through her architecture, design, culture. We read her through her outer expression. Airports, train stations are gateways into her symbolic life-entry points. They symbolize a microcosm of the whole city, drawing us inwards to know the heart of a city. This is why culture is important, it flows out of, and invites us into the very heart of a city’s identity. If culture dries up, or becomes detached from true identity, you get what I call a “dead symbol”.
 Dead symbols either become idols-where people worship the detached part of self in hopes of reattaching it, or they become symbols of disintegration. These symbols need to be reclaimed and re-baptized into true identity through Jesus Christ. This is largely the work of prayer for cities. We are praying cities into wholeness. That is the priestly function of His Church–to help reintegrate detached parts of self into the whole expression that each city is meant to be in Him.
 Some cities are more veiled than others. For example, Krakow in Poland has layers of mystery guarding her heart. That is part of her identity-to be somewhat mysterious-a place of miracles and spiritual occurrences. Jerusalem is both exposed and hidden. Other cities like Berlin are flat, grand, and we must know the full circumference or width of its expression to sense the true contours of its identity. Then, there are river cities like Prague, also shrouded in veils of mystery, but drawing us inwards toward them. My point here is that when we start to read cities through their symbolic clothing, we begin treating them more as people-with love respect and wonder at the aspects of God which they are called to uniquely express on earth.
 (So, what is your city wearing today?)
 I like to throw parties! One party I always wanted to throw was a true image party, where everyone comes wearing what they think they will look like in heaven, or what they already look like in God’s Eyes! That to me would be a true banquet, and a very fun party of authentic expression! That party would be a rehearsal for the great banquet of The Lamb–each person, city and nation coming to celebrate Him as their true self and in their true self expression! Now that will be a party!

starting notes towards: adventures in God dancing into an authentic life (or, “Being Pronounced into an Authentic life”)

03 Friday Jan 2014

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My father was and is a well known baptist minister; my mother an artist singer performer, worshiper with a voice from heaven. My life flows out of the conjoining of those two forces–ministry and art. My mother performed in musicals and was very sensitive to the Spirit of God. My father preached or rather taught from the pulpit. (As a baptist, you learn early on the difference between preaching and teaching!) Both are remarkable people who i would like even if they were not my parents.
I first got engulfed by God at age ten, but i remember seeing angels and talking to animals before that. I always knew that the world was also spiritual, and that there was more than meets the eye everywhere.
My mother taught me to hear and embody God, my father taught me what He was like. It was a good combination, and really my first training in the life of His Spirit. I am thankful for this. At age fifteen a woman prophet told me I had a calling to unusual people who are usually not found. In other words, that my own uniqueness, would lead me to very unique people on earth, and that i was to bring His Spirit to them. The other thing spoken over me from very young, was that the way God would use me, is for me to be authentically myself and to stay “in Him”. That God wanted to highlight identity through my life. From that point on, i always felt permission to be myself, and knew that this was in some ways, my true ministry. I’m thankful for this woman, who also told me I had the gift of words, which in school i used to write poetry and probably woo too many girls. Eventually we grow up though, and find a context for our gifts. And eventually, i did.
In college, i lived with a Polish Jewish artist, whose parents had fled to Argentina. He had fallen in love with an American and moved his home and studio to Virginia. He and I met in a dance improvisation class, and were immediate friends throughout my college years. He taught me performance art, integration of spiritual things with my artistic process, and how to make fish beneath an open fire. A great man, a tremendous artist, and spiritual father when i needed one. A messianic Jewish community eventually moved across the street, and he would take passover with them, and correct their practices. He had humor and was generous to Christians and Buddhists. He also made amazing mobile sculptures which are still spinning translucently up and down the eastern coast of America. He died of a brain tumor, and at the end, was trying to make collages from his X-rays. I learned to live from him, and dialogue with other cultures.
Later, i went to art therapy graduate school and was mentored by Ronald Meck, an irish balladeer, and beholder of people. He taught me to bear witness to people, hold containers for their presence, and to allow people to be exactly where they were on their journey. And sang some of the saddest most beautiful songs i have ever heard.
It was from Grad school in Boston that I heard the call to go into “full time ministry”. I packed my car went to Carolina, got re-baptized (the first time had been by my father in the Jordan river), and packed up my car and drove the farthest away baptist seminary–Golden Gate-thinking i would need to cut my hair and begin to look more baptist. As it turned out, my first day arriving in San Fran, i met the Jones family on Haight Asbury and found my tribe for the next ten years. Spiritual family is not something you can create, it is a result of following God to their doorsteps. That is how it was in California. I continued to do art therapy groups, now with street kids and other christians, and worked at a homeless shelter making art. We were part of starting two creative communities there, before another great influence on my life-Dave-and I started the Stooge House to help recovering christians. These years were my training, and i learned more about myself and God than ever before. And also began to understand the spiritual stages of development. What it means to “press on” into more of The Father through Christ.
After many years, the Jones hit the road in an RV to travel non-stop across north America. At first i did not join them, then the spiritual itch kept itching and i hit the road with them. We met so many people, whom i still love. People would just gather, wherever we stopped, which was usually wherever we broke down. With them, i learned how to disciple people. And live in very close quarters with a very large and beautiful family.
We stopped our tour in NC, and I stayed living in a Border’s book shop parking lot and discipling old arts friends for a year. Then a dream to go to Austin Texas, where I met my eventual wife, and was sent to Europe by an English Vicar confirming what i already somehow knew–that God wanted to expand the circumference of my calling onto another continent.
While in NC, i was led to a street folk festival to find the only two people worshiping. God told me to look for the two people who had their hands lifted in worship. It turns out the singer was a recovering alcoholic who Jesus had found and that he was in fact worshiping through blue grass country music. This couple became my next chapter of ministry. Both had been trained in warfare, deliverance and inner healing in the charismatic church. If I thought California was odd with its witches and floating fairies at night, NC was even more intense, learning how people are delivered from demons, holy water and the charismatic fireworks of the church. We housed mostly artist and recovering worship leaders in that community. While living there, i was also led to another book shop, told to sit at a certain table and wait until a man would sit at the next table, then to tell him he was a teacher and man of God. This man turned out to be my life long friend and co-conspirator in the arts, the reverend Mike Ramsey. An artist and gentleman, who still has a electric ministry among artists and now refugees.
I think all my lasting friendships have started with a divine appointment.
To rewind a moment. I asked for the “gift of tongues” from a charismatic woman pastor on Mt Pilot near my hometown. I figured, if The Holy Spirit manifesting as tongues of fire, was the first gift He gave his own disciples after arriving back in heaven, that He probably wanted me to have it also! God had led me to Pilot mountain but did not tell me why. I had been wanting to pray with more power, and had asked God how. For me it was a matter of wanting to be more effective in my prayer life.That day this pastor and her assistant prayed over me, and i began speaking in “unknown tongues”. Only later did I know you could also ask for a gift to interpret the tongues, so you sort of knew what you were praying. That always seemed like a practical companion gift if you were going to be rambling in unknown languages–that spirit utterances and a spirit of understanding would somehow always both be present, in order to be helpful. Later i read that this was so in Corinthians! The spirit of prophecy and the spirit of understanding work in tandem!
My gift of prophecy was fully activated on Haight street in San Fran, and then augmented by my years hanging with the Morning Star leaders in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina; and cherry topped by an african prophet named Chris Daza, and sharpened again by a German prophetess in Berlin. I have had great mighty people come along at just the right moment to activate the next level of gifting each season. Again, this is not by my design, but something God did. And I am ever grateful.
On my 30th birthday, i asked for a temporary gift of healing (I’m not sure why I asked for it only temporarily, maybe because I had seen how intense the gift was and wasn’t sure i was ready for that). We were doing a parade with homeless kids on Haight Street, wearing masks, and my mother was there, when my hands began to heat up like fire. It actually hurt until i started touching people and praying for them, and 13 people got healing that day! We also did a birthday party for a kid named Blue that day. Turns out he had never had one. I still recall his tears. That was a good birthday.
Anyways, back to europe…so I was told in Austin to go to Prague in central europe and join the Jones again. So one week later I did. But en route, some spiritual adventures happened.
I was in Paris. God had just said, “check you out” as I walked up the Eiffle tower steps. I was about half way up, when He spoke. This was the first time I understood David’s celebration of himself as a poem in Psalm 139. Everything has flowed and hinged on this point for me. From there, i was directed to a bridge near Notre Dame. A man was getting ready to jump. The Spirit told me how fast to walk, and when to slow down. The man allowed me to approach. I started talking gently in tongues, and he understood me. Then I pulled out my sketch pad and drew three images. One of a door. Another of a church, and then of the man’s hand. He understood what was being communicated, came off the bridge, started crying and we walked off that bridge into the city together.
There were many other tales in Paris, where God started directing my steps overtly.
Not long from my Paris trip. I was in the London airport. God told me to buy a ticket on Virgin Air to New York city. I knew the right flight to get. Did so, and in the air within six hours. The day we landed was 911. I was trapped on the George Washington bridge and able to view the horrific unfolding of the events that day. Truck drivers were crying, war jets flew overhead, national emergency blared out of the speakers and it felt like God had lifted His thumb of cover off America. It was more than sad. And He let me bear witness.
I brought a red scarf to America. It was Indian silk and was like a symbol lifted from the Song of Songs. I was to take it to my soon to be wife. She lived in Cincinatti at the time, but I had no idea exactly where. I drove from New York to Ohio and cruised slowly into town. As I did, The Spirit said, ok, take a right, now a left, slow down park here. A built in GPS The Spirit is! Then get out of the car, wait a minute, now go ask that lady arriving across from you if she knows Amy Macdonald. I did, and it turned out to be Kendra, a very close friend of Amy’s. I followed her back to where Amy lived, delivered the scarf, and left town to head towards Denver where I had one more “Divine appointment” before heading back to Europe. There I met a young man that i was to tell to move. I did, and headed back towards the east coast.
When I lived in my car in Harvard square, working with homeless, one day He took me onto Harvard campus and told me to notice how many Jews were there. I felt like a whole community was walking around that day. Now go talk to this girl and help her renew her Jewishness. I did. She played violin and had not thought or felt God in many years. We walked across the quad and talked. She asked me how I knew she was Jewish. I told her my spirit was told. In those years, i was practicing the prophetic–hearing God and then trying to deliver what He was thinking or saying in the way that He was delivering it. He kept calling it prophetic orientation–not just getting words for people, but delivering them in His Heart and manner. Holistic prophetic actions. That has always stuck with me. It isn’t enough to deliver words–phychics can do that. But to deliver them in His Heart and orientation of love is a deeper work.
When I lived in Jerusalem, i was always told which gates to enter and how to depart the city. A few nights i would have appointments with young soldiers and often i would just be there to listen to their stories. I was handing out marbles at that season of my life to special ones God would lead me to. These marbles got me in trouble once in Switzerland.
Just after college, i went to L’abri in Switzerland. My father had told me about the place, and I had read some of Francis Shaeffer’s stuff. I liked that he was trying to find a theology of the arts, and to ground the creative process in a Kingdom context. So I went. On the way, i had a pocket full of marbles. The Swiss, as you know, are ordered. My marbles somehow all rolled out of my pocket on the bus ride up through the alps towards L’abri. The bus driver stopped the bus, went back and hand picked up every marble. This is where I started to learn how to be culturally sensitive, though my father had also been an anthropologist and we grew up with all sort of cultures in our house. On that bus, i realized, I needed to choose where to lose my marbles.
Anyways, L’abri was a great integrative exploration for me. My time there-which turned out to be much longer than originally intended-helped integrate arts and spirituality within my heart, and to this day, i feel the seeds of that place helped me not see art and God as separate fields of knowing. God is One. And desires us to be one or integrated. It turns out, our creativity is part of who we are as humans. And that Jesus is Lord over every dimension of Reality including the arts and cultural aspects. He wants to inhabit or dwell in those spheres of being just as He does in our thoughts and emotions. Basic stuff, but well re-enforced at L’abri during those years. I am still thankful for my time there.
I did however, always feel like L’abri should also have art studios to integrate the practice of art, with the practice of theology. So later when my wife and I started an arts community we put community and training upstairs and actual art studios down stairs so they could symbolically be housed under the same big top roof–but that is another story! We are both fascinating in developing a theology of the imagination which is also modeled in real life. And we are both interested in creating amazing art which is grounded in a Kingdom context. Not using the arts to decorate our theology, but to flow out from our true identities. I’m not sure L’abri got all the way there, but it had the seeds to start such a journey towards integration in Him. The church’s poverty of imagination is slowly changing, and entering a baptism of the imagination and the whole person into a living expression of His Own Oneness–that is my dream. His Kingdom come engulfing and redefining culture as well as the creative dimensions of our own lives. But that, as i have said, is another soap box.
My own life teaching has always centered around two themes: true identity and creative integration. That we like the prophets should be authentic expressers of His Kingdom. Or as David put it, living portents. For we are His Poems created in Christ Jesus to live out the works prepared beforehand to be our way. And oh, how wonderfully made am I. As are you, my friend. Thanks for reading this rough sketch of some spiritual adventures in my own life. May you mind heart body spirit leap in Him in ever new shapes and cadences, dancing boldly into an authentic life in Christ!

Pressing in

09 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by storehaufovic in Uncategorized

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in the forest wind rustle that day, we found an abandoned freight car
you called home, by instinct recalling-
rivers, tobacco scent, rusted broken latches, abandoned instruments and dreams
you just had. you remember the smell of paper also
in your father’s publishing house
where you first pressed skin on skin
and wrote the word love on one another’s bones in another language
with some amazing woman you can’t recall back then
until traveling by train in europe.
you suddenly want to tattoo the whole
sequence on your body. and you know, somehow
she was the church, and that you are a kinesthetic historian
with a desire for a home which never stops moving…
and pressing into you.

 

resonances

09 Monday Dec 2013

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a smoke break long
the burning of young cedar
but in the way that an iron skillet
remembers bacon
a chiminea recalls cedar wood
As it said on a plaque i once read,
John Wesley passed through here
and the echo still resonates in our bones.

Excerpts

30 Thursday May 2013

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New Mexico is a place of mysteries, messages and miracles. I lived there for some time- both in Albuquerque and a small artistic enclave ghost town called Madrid. I’m sure both are still there, but in some sense, they don’t exist in time. Not just for me, but for real. I used to drive out from North Carolina to New Mexico-17 hours or until you saw a white wolf by the road; once, upon crossing the border, i even saw a native american ghost; i knew he was a ghost, but still turned around to make sure-and sure enough this hitching ghost had vanished in the time that i passed.
When you enter New Mexico you have the feeling of driving on an ancient fleck of gold dust and rust which never actually rusts. It’s one of those ancient out of time places on the earth.
I do not even remember how long I lived there. There were dessert roses, and out door drive in’s and the rest, all barely clinging to time and space.
I remember people’s faces mostly and their families, and hot springs and native americans and burritos. But, people’s faces mainly–weathered wise inquisitive but with no ambition to move elsewhere. There is a settled quality to life in New Mexico. It’s not about being stuck, but about being satiated with being to the point that there is no point of going elsewhere. You have arrived at the mystic mountain, it has slowly through osmosis revealed its secrets, and you are resting in those secrets–that’s the sense. The trouble is, nobody outside of that state is in the same frequency. When you leave, you realize every other rhythm is not in sync with New Mexico’s.
Even California as floating dream as it is; still is somehow connected and forced to interface with states outside its way; but not so with New Mexico. You really do become the dream there.
In Madrid, I lived in a trailer on the edge of town. There was a girl who looked like Uma Thurman who would sing to me at the bar, and there was a tender guy who ran an art gallery and would give my friends work when they visited. We had a community center and I sometimes did art therapy stuff there. There was only one bridge in town, and many cars had strangely disappeared off the edge of its wooden rails. Madrid also had abandoned mines and the distinct smell of sulphur. It was a town on the way to other towns, but which had its own ghost guards for police. People would be haunted into staying or leaving, but no one really chose to be there. It chose them-it was just one of those towns, you find yourself in. Still, it really did have true magic.
The children in that town made up their own complex games with the elements and had their own inner spiritual logic and math to follow. The dogs could turn on you, but there was a horse named strawberry who kept the whole town grounded. It was a remarkable place to live really.
New Mexico gave me the gift of mystery. That there were still places where things trailed off into an unknown, and that it was possible to live in that state forever. The kind of place where limbs would grow back on people, and then disappear again. A place of mystery. Not always good mysteries, but definitely mystery.
Richmond was much more like a magnolia. The scent was tobacco, magnolia, and wet moss. There was a train buried beneath Church hill. There were many confederate soldier ghosts, and then there was Edgar Allen Poe to contend with. A lovely porch town–a gothic love song maybe even a lullaby. I went to college there and lived there for ten years. Mostly with an argentinian artist who had a tree in the center of his home.
I lived eventually all over town in many types of songs. Oregan hill with her old southern beside Hollywood cemetery sense. And the fan, more sophisticated blue blood monumented streets. Church Hill with its historical focus. And further out where Richmond trailed off into old Virginia nostagias. Great town really, but not easy to leave. Richmond taught me dignity with mystery. And how to leave a place, and still carry it in your heart.
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Clowning in the Cloud

Identity and Art Poetry Spiritual Development Uncategorized

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