Some more gleanings from counseling: some thoughts on healing in ourselves and others.

In counseling aren’t we really seeing the inner narrative of the other person’s journey, trying to help them remove blocks, and offering hope that there are many more chapters in the story! Of course, that takes prayer and insight (seeing where He is in the other person’s inner house, and what He wants to work on renovating next!), but really the story is already going on before you get there; so lots of counseling is about finding the true story, and helping guide the lines out! So the whole poem can be pronounced. In counseling, it is as if we are helping overcome writer’s block in people. Or being written blocks, at least!

Sometimes, we go back to blocked or locked rooms from the person’s past, sometimes we clean and grieve through rooms in the present. Sometimes we jump forward to the future healed space, to gain hope for the present. We counsel in all directions, while knowing there is a whole story already going on in us all. An identity and a path prepared beforehand to be each person’s way! We are trying to let Him into the whole house, so it is illuminated! Often one room at a time.

Some dams need to be removed from early in the river. If you use the metaphor of each person as a river, instead of a house. There are dams along the way through time! Usually the earliest ones require the most work, but also can be torn down the quickest! Conversion does this. But then along the way, there are other dams of various sizes which need to be worked on. I’ve been studying how beavers build, tear down and relocate dams as a metaphor for healing. Fun study. They work in family and community for one!

If you picture your life as a river, where are the blocks or dams? Which ones are you working on in this season. How did ones which have been removed come down in your journey? Notice patterns. Each dam is unique, but has similar patterns—usually, conviction, confession, grieving, and placing some new life to grow into in that area! He usually guides you to those places to work on, through prayer, or just life experiences which make it clear there is a block ready to be removed or dealt with.

Then it’s time to get to the Cross, in confession, thanks, grieving, and then often more thanks…personal grieving take different times and pacing for different people; then, afterwards, listen for understanding of what He wants to plant in that area instead. To get to know Him through healing. We often just make it about ourselves, but actually healing is as much about getting to know who He is, and how Kind and thorough He is in making us more whole.

Certain seasons, healing then becomes our way or method of getting to know God. It may feel selfish or self absorbed at first, but not when we really make it about Him. We have to know what season we are in. But if it’s a healing season, then dive into Him in that place. Don’t miss out, for usually He is preparing you for new life and seasons, and has a clear reason why He’s working on each part of us in order.

You can also tell if someone is healed in a certain area, by if there is Love and true concern for others in that area.

Another thing I’ve learned is if you pull something out, be ready to plant something new in that place! Because it’s good compost for growing things strong! Don’t waste your compost!

Usually God deals with core wounds first, so they stop feeding the dead patterns or smaller wounds later. So if you were rejected as a kid by parents or the world, He often starts with that core wound of rejection, and then works through all the patterns you’ve walked out from that wound of expecting rejection—false defense etc. fear of others, isolation etc…find your core wounds, and let Him work on them; that frees up easier or more fluid healing in others areas of your life patterns.

When you take something out, you need to put something in its place which has new life in it! More gleanings from counseling soon friends! Fun thinking about what I’ve noticed thus far!

Often also you can use some of the materials from the torn down dams for other purposes. You can re-purpose your wounds, or at least loose materials from where they were before, in this sense. Sort of like in the book of Joshua when they messed up the first time in Ai, but God used there mistake as part of his strategy! Once new life is in that place, you can use some of the older materials to build other things.

Don’t waste your trials! Learn how He heals if you are in a healing season. Healing then becomes your seasonal spirituality or place of meeting. I went through many healing seasons, and am sure there are many more to come. I think He got into and broke down my core wounds, but there are so many echoes and other dams which continue to get cleared. The wound is healed first, then the patterns which resulted from them!

I enjoy meeting Him in times of healing. And meeting him now, in times of helping others heal. We are not our wounds, but what is meant to be planted in those places which were most hurt, often does tell us lots about who we really are. Our wounds are a keyhole into true identity! And where we were wounded often reveals or uncovers our callings in life towards others! We often get even more of Him in those exact places or hurt, for these are where we come to know the One who knows all our griefs. To the degree we know Him in a certain area of our lives, we can offer Him and His healing Life to others!

Often having the most ability to bless others in the exact places where we were most hurt.

So you see people like St Paul who really overcame racism, but had that racial pride as a core wound which God had to heal over time. Etc. Our wounded areas often become our greatest areas of His Authority, as others have pointed out. Assuming we allow them to get healed, and are not just acting from bitterness in those area. Un-dealt with wounds calcify into hatred and bitterness usually projected outwards on others.

You see this happening now between races and genders. When the wound is dealt with, as I have seen in some native american saints who learned to forgive, they often have the most love even for those who had abused them. It’s a way of healing. Always ask what is meant to be planted in this place where this wound or block or dam is? Usually just beneath the dam is an important clue as to your true identity and purpose in life.

Racism is also usually rooted in an un-dealt with wound; some lack of forgiveness towards an earlier or even generational abuse. But it requires the same healing process to become free from it. There are of course collective cultural wounds as well—fear or hatred of others then gets systematized. But the healing process is the same. Sometimes we have to go back and be little priest for ourselves and our generations as well to learn to not walk in abusive patterns ourselves.

A healed person in a certain area, always speaks in love, and often has unique wisdom in that particular area! Good to listen well to those who have actually healed in an area, you may want to learn to heal in also! How did it work for them. How did they get Love into that area of their lives. We are always trying to get that Voice of Love and gentle guidance into those areas.

What wounds or dams is God dealing with in your life this season? How can you allow Him in, and start to plant new life in that area, as a way of getting to know Him better? How is He handling that area. What are His methods of intervention? All these questions are not just about getting healed, but getting to know Him more! Healing is not solipsistic if we head at it in this way!

And it helps those around us when we are healed in each area! For, we can then turn and heal others. We have to be willing to heal, if we are to help others heal as well. It’s easy to point out the motes and unhealed areas in others, without dealing with our own. Start in us, then we may be useful in helping others. The first stone to move or throw out is always in us! For we all have fallen short of the glory of our true stories!

Even in our times, you can tell those who have actual authority to speak, are those who have healed in that area (always look for the tone of Love, for that’s where God is already formed and present in a person or conversation). The rest have anger or bitterness behind their words and are actually less effective in bringing change! Once we are healed, we want to partner in healing others. As we are being made whole, we are able to turn and help others become more whole-more themselves! We can only impart what we already contain. Healing then becomes a salve and balm for others in the exact areas where we ourselves have been most broken.

Years back I took three months off my life, to let God tell me the story of my life from His perspective.

I dictated it from Him, as if He wanted to sit me down and tell me the true story of my life. Letting God tell you your story is a cool practice. You sort of get to overhear the Omniscient Narrator of your tale! We often like to tell our stories, but nice to concentrate on His version as the grand narrator. It really did change my version of my life. It was a Word to word experience where both were honored.

It was such a transformative and humbling process usually about what He wanted in each chapter, what I did, and how He redeemed it.

I still recommend this practice if you’ve never tried it. It helps you appreciate your journey more, live better and be thankful to still be here! I recommend taking time, as henri Nouwen put it, to “read the document of your own life”! For, where our stories meet His is where spiritual growth happens. Let God redact and edit your version of your story.

MEETING THE STARS!

Someone asked me this week about meeting so many famous people in my life, and what I’d learned through that. Good question, as I have been meeting “famous” people since I was a kid, in many worlds. Artists, thinkers, entertainers etc. Haven’t thought enough about what i learn from those types of encounters! So–
So here’s a bit about what I’ve learned from meeting actually famous people…
When you meet someone who is well known, there is the outer and the inner glow. There is often hype around them, but then there is just them, behind or beneath the outer glow. I tend to go there—towards the real person, and see where their at!

I try to look for what’s going on inside them, in their real lives. Sometimes it’s hard to see through the veneer, depending on the buzz around them, but usually, i can make human to human contact outside the celebrity fame thing.
I’ve met many famous artist and people along my way. So have thought about how they too need real contact, and often need tangible Love outside of an adoration for their gifts!

When I met Madonna, for instance, she called me over to her table, and we talked; i told her among other things, that she was dearly cherished by the father, whether anyone ever knew it or not. And that part of her fame was to give her an experience of how dearly Father loved her. That overflow from knowing you are loved, creates a contagious blessing for others, which last past fame!

That word went in, she even cried, and then asked me to give “words” for all her entourage around the table (not as easy that task! Three djs who spoke french (did that part in tongues!), and several film producers etc. I’ll remember that for a long time. Even when people appear beloved, they rarely and often don’t know it inside themselves! And that’s true for ministers, saints, priest and entertainers as well. She was shocked by how dearly God loved her, and would go out of His way to tell her so. I’ll never forget that.

Having met so many famous people, i know that not all of them know just how loved they are as people, outside their amazing gifts. We tend to honor people’s gifts, but not them themselves. And so many simply don’t feel loved. Even though they are famous and known by people everywhere.

Reminds me always to never judge by fame celebrity or appearances, to discern by the heart, and what it really needs—as the book says. A book is not really known by its cover. You have to look inside in Love to get what its really about!

Also, all people have real spiritual needs, regardless of their level of notoriety! It’s good to discern those, and bless in that usually churning and waiting good soil! Just thinking about that today, since someone asked me!
Materialism like entertainment judges by appearance and externals, and puts self worth and identity grounding there. But people, all of us, are more than that, and need a higher grounding. We are more than our brands in the end. And need to be encountered as more.

People are people, we have common needs to belong, be loved, have friends, have an upper story or spirituality in our lives which contextualizes our life stories.

We all need a context and care. Nothing has really changed in that. But celebrities tend to get isolated and seen more as a product based on their gifts.

So it’s good to just meet them themselves. I am to I am, as they say. I to Thou as Buber put it. That’s what I try to do. Fame passes, people matter more, and often have more going on, than meets the eye, unless we engage our “I”, we may not see their “thou’s”, as Martin Buber would’ve put it!

I’ve enjoyed having authentic encounters with lots of “stars”, through the years, but I also tend to see all people as stars, although some people highlight glory, as they say-they are meant to make glory more overt and obvious! Yet, to see us all as stars, makes it easier- to just love people as and where we are!

Each of us some sort of broken, half falling stars, becoming, slowly more radiantly ourselves as we receive, then perforce give, more Love.

Someone asked me this week about meeting so many famous people in my life, and what I’d learned through that. Good question, as I have been meeting “famous” people since I was a kid, in many worlds. Artists, thinkers, entertainers etc. Haven’t thought enough about what i learn from those types of encounters! So–

Actually meeting famous people… When you meet someone who is well known, there is the outer and the inner glow. There is often hype around them, but then there is just them, behind or beneath the outer glow. I tend to go there—towards the real person, and see where their at!

I try to look for what’s going on inside them, in their real lives. Sometimes it’s hard to see through the veneer, depending on the buzz around them, but usually, i can make human to human contact outside the celebrity fame thing. I’ve met many famous artist and people along my way. So have thought about who they too need real contact, and often need tangible Love outside of adoration for their gifts!

When I met Madonna, for instance, she called me over to her table, and we talked; i told her among other things, that she was dearly cherished by the father, whether anyone ever knew it or not. And that part of her fame was to give her an experience of how dearly Father loved her. That overflow from knowing you are loved, creates a contagious blessing for others, which last past fame!

That word went in, she even cried, and then asked me to give “words” for all her entourage around the table (not as easy that task! Three djs who spoke french (did that part in tongues!), and several film producers etc. I’ll remember that for a long time. Even when people appear beloved, they rarely and often don’t know it inside themselves! And that’s true for ministers, saints, priest and entertainers as well. She was shocked by how dearly God loved her, and would go out of His way to tell her so. I’ll never forget that.

Having met so many famous people, i know that not all of them know just how loved they are as people, outside their amazing gifts. We tend to honor people’s gifts, but not them themselves. And so many simply don’t feel loved. Even though they are famous and known by people everywhere.

Reminds me always to never judge by fame celebrity or appearances, to discern by the heart, and what it really needs—as the book says. A book is not really known by its cover. You have to look inside in Love to get what its really about! Also, all people have real spiritual needs, regardless of their level of notoriety! It’s good to discern those, and bless in that usually churning and waiting good soil! Just thinking about that today, since someone asked me!

Materialism like entertainment judges by appearance and externals, and puts self worth and identity grounding there. But people, all of us, are more than that. We are more than our brands in the end.

People are people, we have common needs to belong, be loved, have friends, have an upper story or spirituality in our lives which contextualizes our life stories.

We all need a context and care. Nothing has really changed in that. But celebrities tend to get isolated and seen more as a product based on their gifts. So it’s good to just meet them themselves. I am to I am, as they say. I to Thou as Buber put it. That’s what I try to do. Fame passes, people matter more. I’ve enjoyed having authentic encounters with lots of “stars”, but I also tend to see all people as stars! Makes it easier to just love people!

I like thinking of myself as a gardener art monk practitioner!
In your secret place (your mountain garden), practice what your embodying, until it’s fully incarnate in yourself and others around you! Practice it towards plants, creatures, those nearby, until you know it in your limbs.
Receive the best seeds, plant them, and grow them in one another!
Righteousness (living up-right) is practical, as one mentor put it. It’s not esoteric, it’s something you learn to live out down here, in the broken eggshells we all are!
Ideals are nice, but embodied ethics-how we see and treat ourselves and one another in real time- changes the tone of your home and neighborhood, and if your blessed, even your whole city and nation!
“Know your seeds-that which you can add to the garden- then, find the good soil in yourself and others, and plant in Joy and Hope!” Trust The Gardener of the human soul to be constantly tending you, and, then, through you, what you’ve allowed to be tended internally, to bless those around you with those same seeds of becoming!

Certain dams burst open suddenly, others came down through attrition and prayer, others by re-direction. God’s strategies for un-damming people places and things to be what they really are, has always fascinated me.

Some of our dams are man made, others from other sources-some made of false doctrines, others from world distractions-materialism, celebrity-ism, competition between her parts etc. But in each historical epoch, He found ways to keep the water flowing, with specific seasonal strategies!

Been thinking lots after watching a show on beavers on how to un-dam areas of our lives which are blocked. How to roll away our stones, to use another metaphor…going back to the dammed river metaphor though. How do we remove the dams (curses etc) in our lives? This is the real question in counseling.

How dams, or things which block our true lives from flowing well and authentically; things which block our true names from being pronounced. I often look for these blocks in counseling, and see how God is breaking them down, or removing them. Sometimes, He is just blasting them off, other times there is a slower strategy so the person can learn dependence on God, or how Wise He is. He is the Wise healer, and knows how fast a person can handle removal of blocks in their inner lives.

Our earliest dams often come down quickly once we find and enter God’s Life, like the first city in the land was conquered in Joshua’s time, by the walls falling down supernaturally! God likes to make it obvious that it is Him who heals us! Later dams in the river of our lives, He partners with us in tearing down, so we understand more of His River wisdom. Like the second city Ai, in Joshua, there was strategy involved; in this case one redeeming a previous mistake. When we are young we get sudden deliverances, as we get older, we collaborate in unblocking our hearts, so we come as St John said of older ones, to KNOW The Father. When young we focus on overcoming; when old on knowing. I John.

Since one of our life goals is spiritual growth, it is good to look at what blocks it in ourselves, and how God wants to remove those blocks. So been studying the life of beavers in the Spirit, who both build, and tear down damns really well in family community. And cause the world’s rivers to connect and flow properly. What a cool gift! Plus, beavers are just cool. If we ourselves are little rivers, it’s good to consider how dams work! For better and worse.

I’m using the image of our lives as a river here, and looking at what is damming it up, and how far back in life, these dams are, which need to be removed. Usually if you can get the earlier ones out of the way, the later ones are easier. At first we are kids, and just need to trust; then we can collaborate later in working with God to remove ours and other’s obstacles to becoming who we really are in Christ. Finding and pronouncing our true names together. That’s life’s journey. How our rivers flow matter to God!

Our first utterance abba…is what we always want to say our whole lives! It’s just one long sentence, life, starting with the word for Father, our origin who knit us together in the womb as David said. In Hebrew abba is the first word you learn. Makes sense, plus it’s easy to write. The accessibility of The Father is Kind.

Our voices get interrupted while here, but we are always trying to get back to our first word, Abba! How cool is God!

Simple orientation:
Make the daughters know they are beautiful in a pure way, the mothers know they are honored for their endless labor, the sisters that they are cherished, the brothers, that we are one; the sons, that they are confirmed and validated, the fathers that they are respected endlessly. This is the most basic way. My gleanings from reading St John’s generational blessings today! Let’s do at least that towards one another.

Why I still like Austin, Texas: since she turned 178 last week, and I forgot to thank her for how cool she still is after these years! I know that’s still a young city in the big picture, but she’s still being herself. What I like about her….

Austin is so experimental. It’s willing to try new stuff, and synthesize it with what is already working. I do appreciate that. It also cares for animals and artists well. We have one of the only free health care programs for local musicians, which includes mental health. Bless your priest, bless yourselves!

We also have a day of each month named officially after a local artist. And we have ACL (Austin City Limits on public tv) the longest running music show in the nation! This week they inducted Roy Orbison, Rosanne Cash (inducted by Elvis Costello-great speech about hope for America coming from places like Austin—creative incubators and free speech cities which honor the past without getting stuck in it!) and the Neville brothers into their hall of fame!

Rosanne’s (who I got meet years back at Waterloo records-which again is a symbol of accessibility here!) speech summed Austin up. “You gave me creative community when I had no voice, until I could find mine!”

Thankful for how Austin havens creative vulnerable folks and creatures. We are the first no kill animal city, which has become a global model. I like the grounded progressive experimental nature of this city, and how it cares for the weak or fragile. We are certainly first adopters in many areas. And we develop it with leadership. Not a timid town even with the arts!

It has gotten a bit too expensive, but still about half the cost of San Fran, London and other global cities, and just as inventive really. Thankful for this city today. Still after many years, it welcomes the slanted ones of us, with Grace, and let’s us be human together! Each city has its gifts! This one is kind, and havens creatures and creatives well. Thankful for that characteristic of hers today! A monastery, with an enormous Texas Sky above her!

The Sky really is the limit, and as our local university (with 73,000 students, which we live just near!) motto says: what starts here, changes the world! So it has a global symbol making potential—an arts leadership mantel!

As you can see from her film industry, directors often from my own generation like Quentin Tarrantino and Robert Rodrigues-so many film studios here; mainly people who got fed up with Hollywood- and music of course, which is a constant (South by, but also ACL and so many arts and music festivals always spinning).

Sometimes it’s good to bless the place you live pro-actively! People too often, just complain about where they live. I try to see my own story in relationship to my city’s narrative. It keeps things meaningful. But sometimes it’s good to encourage your own city!

It’s good to proactively love the cities we are given to share life with. To be salt and light for their stories! Healers and Seers in the mist for them. Love your city, and help her finish her story and walk out her gifts! Wherever you live.

We live in several cities and I love them all like people with long beautiful stories and gifts! Ours here is a creative leader, and very inventive–i experience that about her daily!

I challenge you to encourage your city today! Get to know them where they are now, where your city is in its story, and how can I help pronounce their next chapter in the book we are together.

I love cities like people, and this person is pretty cool and special! I know her blocks and shadows, just like my wife’s or best friend’s, but still love them all into full view, and towards their wholeness! Anyway, thankful for this particular special city today. Thought I’d say so.

“We have already more than we need to serve. True wealth is service. Even if you only have one kind word or cent, or sentence-give it! A life lived in Love is more than returned, it yields past it’s time in all directions.” 3rd C Monk (my translation)

Love searching for wisdom’s treasures in history! Maybe because my dad was an archaeologist and anthropologist, as well as a minister, when i was a kid and used to bring back amazing finds from his trips, and imparted that cultural curiosity and wonder to me; or maybe just because wisdom is practically helpful day to day, and worth searching out!

“A king’s glory is in searching out a matter.” as the good book puts it!

“Serving others, ushers in a meaningful life, and people need meaning”, seems pretty basic life advice! As a better man than me once put it.

Anyway, maybe I’m like a spiritual archaeologist and translator, or at least an aspiring one! I love finding wisdom wherever it shines! Life requires that quest, at least! It’s the least we can do, in thanks.