In Jewish tradition, there are two streams coming down the sacred mountain of God’s revelation: one is oral, the other written. God is speaking, and has spoken.

Of the two streams of law running off Sinai, i tend to swim in the oral one; yet both matter. And there are more life guards along the banks of the written river! Rhema and Logos inform one another. I’ll keep trying to stream and swim in both! What He is saying now, and what He wrote down. Wisdom teaches us which one we need to be in now. Fun meditation today!

Today was heavier, denser, weightier, than usual. Some days weigh more than others! Some days are blues songs, others-jazz their way into being.

Today was like a Raymond Carver (american writer) story in slow motion. Still, i trust tomorrow will be a bit more Whitmanesque! More a book of dreams than nightmares (Galway Kinnel). A bit less Lamentations, and more gospel. But, everyday has it’s own type of song, we each have to sing, embody or carry in our own ways.

Today’s, after counseling a friend through some weightier issues, felt more like Anselm Kiefer’s paintings, than Chagall’s, so to speak.

Today’s song was certainly played on a Saxophone—en-toned in blue, as Saxophones are want to. But just behind blue is yellow, at least in my spirit’s pallet. Lament and joy are somehow tethered to the same poll.

Yet, Easter’s levity continues, despite the weight of the times….bless you all in the bearable lightness of being today friends! His burden is Light, as a friend reminded me today! (Sort of meaning He carries the density of the whole color spectrum on His Own Shoulders, so we can still enjoy them daily! He’s our filter, and weight lifter, daily!) We wear clothes of praise to elevate, despite the weight of glory.

a dragon fly landed near me today as i was waiting…

Crouched wings in waiting for the right instant of Wind to come…..dragonfly with leaned wings on a picnic table, nearby still, until it’s time! She became translucent as she peeled her wings against the wood of table. Her hope, to lift off again soon! This little sign of hope today is enough to go on! Help me wait well Lord of all Winds—expectantly, already in hidden cobalt blue golden glory, meet us, even as we crouch in waiting…

He wants to play the entire flute of your spine forever! He wants the part un-rusted, so He can breath through the instrument you are. He wants to restore that home note in you. To play Zion through you! He wants to play the home song through who you are! Zion is home. And He wants to play the song of home through each of us. Whatever blocks His playing and blowing through us is being oiled, made clean so He can play the song of Himself through us forever!

He wants to play us as a flute song in Zion! Zion means us being home in Him. And He really wants to play through us into that place. Father wants to sing us! As a song of Himself.

Each of us has parts which resist His playing. And for some there is rust there. But He wants to oil our rust, and make us improvisational instruments of praise. Particular instruments He picks up for His pleasure, when He feels like playing a great jazz piece.

Father is gentle in clearing off our rust, and un-hinging our blocked spaces. Still, He wants to play us freely. Zion represents being fully home in Him! He is already restoring Zion in us! Our healing process is like Nehemiah’s time. We need extra word, encouragement, resources, and unity to rebuild the walls of unity. And each family or tribe does it’s part. The holy city’s restoration is like our own.

WE are God’s Zion which He is restoring to dwell in forever.

Some instrument have mood. Sax is one. It also has color. It creates immediate tone. Instruments symbolize different aspects of meaning.

A word i got today!
May all those who hate the Zion in you, be turned away forcefully. May all those who hate the place God is forming Himself in you, be shut out forever. May the enemies of your life, be silenced! May your true life be enabled to speak.
Be silenced, the voices which speak against His Voice in you!
So you know the true nuances of your own name in His!

From counseling today: a simple insight I had today while counseling a friend!

Sometimes when I’m counseling I see too much, sometimes not enough. I get insight into people. It’s a gift. Sometimes it is a pain, but usually it’s a blessing. Sometimes it’s like the scene in the movie “Run Lola Run” where she sees the life stories of every person she is jogging by.

Yet, I like having a gift of insight to help people. When I was younger, i didn’t always use my gift from the right motivations. Sometimes I used it to get approval, feel useful or validated-loved. Now, I think i usually use it more out of overflow from being loved. Today, as I was listening to a friend, i felt this funny Grace Voice which said just listen. What I then heard was:

Our gifts don’t make us feel loved. Love does. We can be incredibly successful in planting our gifts, and still not know we are loved. Love goes deeper than our gifts. If we are teachers, knowledge won’t bring us love. If we are counselors, helping people won’t bring us love. If we are builders, building won’t bring Love. If artist, our talents won’t let love touch us at the core. Church planting doesn’t bring you love. Love brings love. Being loved precedes our callings and use of gifts.

If we know we are loved, we will happily overflow our gifts in love to others! And you can sense when someone has that sequence, in the right order in their lives. Their gifts overflow from a place in themselves which is already loved. Then we are really useful to one another!

Again, Love in our core identity, precedes our callings and gifts. In fact, our callings and gifts are expressions flowing out from our loved identity. I knit and knew you, therefore I gave you some cool stuff to “do” in life (Jeremiah’s calling). Being loved in our core identity precedes our pathways prepared beforehand for us-our outer activities in life (Ephesians 2:10).

I’ve watched so many ministers, artists and friends over the years, try to get love through service or sharing of their gifts. Artist, through their sheer talents mostly. It’s meant to be the reverse! We serve from Love. We are loved, therefore we do. To re-frame Descartes’ phrase. Love contextualizes our talents and gifts. It directs them, and Love energizes them naturally or authentically into serving others.

Anyways, nice insight today while counseling. A bit distracting, as I was trying to help my friend, but useful I hope.

We are loved, therefore we serve with our gifts. A loved identity precedes outward expression and use of our gifts. It has to be in that order at the end of the day. Otherwise, we seek approval and intimacy through using our gifts. I did so in college. I helped people in order to feel validated. I’m good at helping people, so when i did, it made me feel useful. But that’s not knowing your loved. Love comes first, and goes much deeper.

So I’ve been thinking about this challenge lately, of letting Love in more deeply, so that all our serving others with our unique gifts, comes from this already knowing we are loved space. Just a thought today, as I was counseling a friend.

When I know I am loved, I’m useful in using my gifts to help others. I’m sure that’s true whether your a teacher, minister, builder apostolic type of whatever. Love is deeper than our gifts. Even as artist, we are rewarded primarily for our talents. But we are more than our talents, and they should be flowing out from being already loved. Many have to stop their gifts for a season, just to soak in Love. If you do nothing for others, who are you, I was once asked in a dream.

Sort of spiritual basics I guess; but I often ask myself, if I can’t help or inspire anyone today, do I know that I am still adored?

I’ve been coming to ask that over many years of my journey. But its a journey. When you can help people, that gift can become the source of self worth, but it’s meant to be reverse–we know we are loved, therefore we overflow in serving with our gifts! I’m sure its the same for those who are very successful in their fields, but very lonely or unloved inside.

If my best gifts were taken away, would I still know I was loved? This is still the basic question! And, is always what I now ask people in counseling. Who are you outside your most overt gifts. Do you know your really loved? That’s sort of the gospel question as well. At least for me. No matter how much success we have by using our gifts, they won’t make us loved. They won’t affirm that deeper knowing in the heart.

Love comes first. Continue to help us know Your Love God, outside of just our gifts. Amen.

New art in da house. This one a gift for my love from a local artist in San Fran. Enjoying it’s sub-aquatic wonder world-ness. So much happens in the unseen places. This woman focuses on that unseen drama in her art. Had to bring one of these meditations into our art house. Soothing and stimulating simultaneously. A little floating poem about earth’s dream life!

There are two streams of Law in Jewish tradition coming down from Mt Sinai: one is oral the other written. I like both, but tend to stream in the oral one-it’s wetter to me.

In Jewish tradition, there are two streams coming down the sacred mountain of God’s revelation: one is oral, the other written. God is speaking, and has spoken.

Of the two streams of law running off Sinai, i tend to swim in the oral one; yet both matter. And there are more life guards along the banks of the written river! Rhema and Logos inform one another. I’ll keep trying to stream and swim in both! What He is saying now, and what He wrote down.

Considering also, the relative speeds of the two streams coming down the mountain! One for longer meditation; one for immediate action. Both, in Him! Both needed. Both always available in Him. Both stream constantly. But, Wisdom shows you which to jump into when. Both are made of Love. Which stream is needed when, requires Wisdom and discernment. But both are living expressions from the same Source. Both Rhema and Logos pour forth from the same Source. It’s almost like choosing which expression of God we need most at each season, is the thing. God is always speaking, and has spoken. Which part do we need to lean into Him in. Which medium is best each season? How is the Cloud wanting to be heard today! Discerning His method of communication each season is a key to spiritual growth!

There’s a great story told about the Jewish teacher Martin Buber. Once, a man came to his door to ask him a question. Buber was polite, but in the midst of deep study of scriptures that day. Buber was cordial, but as he put it: “I did not answer the questions which were not asked.” The next day this man killed himself.

From then on “Buber concluded that encounters with people must take precedence over scholarship and mystical speculation.” (Telushkin)

He soon afterwards wrote “I and Thou”, his famous book about the two types of basic relations or orientations we have with others.

Kindness and depth listening still go a long way with people. Nice to be reminded again today to prioritize souls above study or even art making at times. To keep oil on your door hinges! Even activities which are good in their own right can block us from Love. Good can be the worst enemy of best.

People still matter most. It reminds me of Jesus’ response when asked why he was helping people on the Sabbath, knowing that He was breaking the law. Love is higher than good works or even righteous study. Plus you never know about strangers, as it says, you could be entertaining angels; or a person in true need, as this man obviously was. Good meditation in our times.

Even a 711 convenience store lights can carry, and illuminate, a couple from a pub into their lover’s glory. Watched it happen again tonight. How a common couple just talking trash beforehand, could walk across a street and start shining in neon green and being seen as Chagall’s dream of marriage.

Each of us so capable of carrying seasons in us, of participating in the Great Dream of being and becoming daily! When we are willing to cross the road into our glory–the glories of each season alight on us, repeatedly.

Then, from lovers to elders we pass on the long journey home. But something about that lover’s moment, so stellar in instance and the drama of circumstances, sticks with you long enough to motivate you through all the other seasons of becoming-the long song home. Such a potent radiant shimmering of beginning, these lovers in convenience store light glowing alone for a moment like painting hung on the universe’s gallery walls, deserves a great ending, and the whole story to be walked out towards the endless Altar. So we walk on through many types of lighting, as we go…but we never forget in our skin, that first lover’s glow.