Reading “Crisis in Masculinity” again by Leanne Payne today. A deep and needed book for our times, by a great christian thinker and teacher, the late Leanne Payne. She wrote this book before its time—it’s for now. In the midst of one of the most global crisis in masculinity in history with the resulting gender confusion and ambiguity, and distrust of all authority; bullying (which is the false masculine), and false feminine, which prostitutes the true image of the feminine in Him.

  One core take away: we need to know God both as masculine and feminine. And we need to have an internalized experience of His Headship, even to govern our own souls and bodies well.

People and whole cultures fall apart when there is a crisis in masculinity. We are in one now. We need a mended image of both motherhood and fatherhood in our day. God contains both, and we too are meant to have healthy masculinity and femininity.

If we are led by feeling, desires or our bodies, we will end up raping ourselves and others. Our Head, needs to be The Head, and internally we govern ourselves with Him—this is the foundation for ethics. We are co-rulers with Him even over our own lives. If we cannot govern ourselves well, how can we hope to bring justice or love outwardly.

 David, the worshiping king (unlike the worshiped kings of the pagan empires), told his own soul to be still and turn to God. He ruled over himself and modeled it. We are to rule with Christ over our own souls. We need both the receptivity and the carving initiating truth speaking aspects to do so.

  Some have an immature feminine so can’t hear and worship and receive from God’s Presence. Others an immature masculine so can’t rule and co-build with Him, and under Him. We need both elements matured in us, in order to know Our God who is both the true masculine and the true feminine.

  St Paul both mothered and fathered the thessolonians. He could move in both parts of God generously! For, part of renewing our minds is to renew or make more true and whole our image of The Father in both His powerful masculine and gentle receptive feminine. We have broken images of both, from experiences in life. But God is able to mend and heal our spiritual perception so we can know a truer image of who Father is. This is the healing of the imagination. To gain a truer image of who He is, reveals to us more of who we are. We need a clearer image of both his masculine and feminine in order to develop our own.

  To come under His Headship requires us to trust that The Father actually is good, kind, loving etc. If we do not trust His Authority, we cannot even rule ourselves.

Authority has gotten a bad wrap because of abuses. Yet, God is over us, and His Kingdom is a hierarchy—it has a Head, a King; and we need to get used to that.

What parts of our lives are still fearful of coming under His Headship. That area, will become lawless in us, and dangerous to others.

You see the false fathering happening all around us in the many terror and militant groups. But what does true fathering look like, and how can we internalize that Kind Headship over our hearts. So we can know the expansive safety of being under Father God. This crisis in masculinity occurs globally. It is a call to both men and women to mature both their masculinity and femininity—both in submission to Our Father. Then there will be Peace on earth. For we will become ministers or conduits of His Peace.

  God does not have gender ambiguity. He is the perfect version of both the masculine and feminine. He challenges us to grow both parts of ourselves as well. We cannot worship or sit in His Presence without the feminine, and we cannot rule, bring justice, speak truth initiate without the masculine in submission to Him. We need to be in relationship with both parts.

  Good meditation in our days of so much gender confusion, which to me, is really identity confusion based on a misrepresentation of who God is—the way to know ourselves, is to seek to know who God is. as we are in His Image we must grow both our own masculine and feminine parts.

We must be able to care for and govern. To pastor ourselves and discipline ourselves in order to be healthy people. We need to know God in His Father Heart and His mothering aspects.

We are responsible to rule over our lives, and to do so in Love and compassion.

 I think this book offers a needed meditation for our times. Enjoying re-visiting it.

Nice to read a non-Jungian or watered down vedic version of masculinity and femininity. And a needed book for our times.

A simple question this book leaves you with: do i have a true or healthy image of both the masculine and feminine aspects of myself, of the world and of God. Am I moving towards a clearer image?

What would it look like for America to steward her gifts, resources, and symbols well (i.e. in humility and gratitude) now? I know some have given up on her, but I don’t think she’s finished her story yet.

 And yet, not to be too simplistic, but isn’t it ironic that the land of the free and the brave made up of refugees, is afraid to take the lead in welcoming, and even modeling how to bless those in need now.

 This idea I’m working on about completing your symbols as part of stewarding your life, applies to nations as well. Each nation has its unique gifts to offer to the whole story of the planet, This nation is meant to cover and haven the oppressed (it’s bountiful resources were given just for that purpose), and was given resources in order to be generous in blessing those in need. In this chapter in history, these are the people in need.

  We did ok (relatively) in the past in this area, not sure we are doing well now. If we don’t use this gift of generosity, it will grow dull. Gifts have to be exercised to stay useful! This is not a time of fear, unlike the false words spoken over this country, but of opening up and being overtly pro-actively generous—press into Love-in the midst of global insecurity. We need to model the true energy of hope again and actual incarnation compassion, which is, of course, uncomfortable in the midst of an identity crisis, but perhaps most needed then! It reminds you of who you are, when you do something your gifted and meant to do.

 Our resources were given in order to serve with-and specifically in America’s case, to defend and haven the oppressed. Even to go find them, and guide them to safety. To shield the safety of becoming a dignified human being. That’s part of her mantel of authority to bless with. Let’s use it, and move in that direction.

 This refugee crisis is a test of character or a challenge to find our true values again, and is a test of character to each nation. Many are showing their true colors now, the space where beliefs meet action.

 This nation needs to get back to its basic humanitarian heart, and finish the symbols it started on.

 Jesus is always where the poor and oppressed and needy are. It’s a spiritual fact. Easiest place to meet Him really. So, let’s meet Him there. If you can’t find God, go serve the poor, the fleeing from oppression, and you will! God is always there.

 Come on people now, shine on your brothers, for your own good if nothing else.

    Walls versus harbors:

 This is not a wall metaphor season, but more a welcoming harbor! Time to get our harbors in order. Let’s polish ours up til her heart glows again! The eagle and the statue of liberty are the two core American symbols. So, the vision and range of sight and impact, with a heart to haven those in need. The masculine and feminine aspects of who she is. Freedom in order to haven and serve specifically the weak needy and oppressed peoples.

  I was in NYC again last week, and the first thing you notice is all the different nations being human together. You just feel like a huge and very diverse family. That sense is the past blessing into the present. We now can seed into our future by polishing the heart of our loving receptivity in this country. Give us your war-torn, hungry and fleeing ones again-that’s what we are made up of really anyway.

  When you get to a place of parenthood as a nation, you have to remember what you came from. We were literally all refugees. My people fled from Ireland. My many Jewish friends fled from all over. My closest from Poland. They were welcomed and made a life with dignity here.

 I know some get annoyed with Bono-the, at times, overly talkative or loquacious, who has, the gift and challenge of gab, or what my dad would call a babbling brook way (something i relate to) irishman rockstar-but he’s right on this one.

 America was meant to be a servant leader specifically for those under oppression. That’s her higher calling or mantel. And a heart for the oppressed, is very close to the heart of The Man Acquainted with Sorrows and those who suffer. So is one method of staying close to God. Why forsake that opportunity for blessing. It is an easy way for America to find her blessing again. It’s an opportunity for spiritual intimacy for her again. An act of Mercy, given her current state of confusion around identity!

 She’s been abusive (starting with the native americans) like every other nation, but her redeemed heart is meant to be like a statue of liberty (liberation) for those in need. Let’s get back to that. Racism and materialism are still rampant and unhealed, but part of our ability to heal is reaching out to those in need again-now. Reaching out to others, will help heal a very divided nation!

 I know some hate America. I find that immature, and simply too easy of a response to an entire nation. If I were to judge a person, solely based on their mistakes in life, i wouldn’t have many friends. We have to work towards the redemptive version of one another, as people and nations! Believing the possibility of the best in them being healed into place.

 On the ground, it really is made up of every other nation. And even in our neighborhood, we have many refugees living now, and many who settled here after hurricane katrina, as well as about every ethnicity there is. We have people from at least 8 other nations just in our neighborhood. My favorite church in our hood is nigerian!  That’s typical here.

 “Other” is normal, and really we are all minorities in our neighborhood. If there is a dominant culture, if would be creatives or artist. But ethnically it is very diverse. That’s part of normal life here, and it was for me growing up in America and living on her streets and by ways over the years. I’ve lived in almost every region of America in my life. Some areas are more mono-cultural than others, but none purely so. I grew up ethnically diverse, having a half brother who is african american. The idea of exclusion makes no sense to me. This just seems obvious for someone who follows a Jewish teacher from a tiny region in the middle east. Other is my spirituality.

 Let’s clean and open our harbors intentionally again! A harbor is feminine and represents heart-even the state of the heart. Let’s be a welcoming harbor and use our eagle’s eye vision to see who to bless with our resources! Of course, we need to discern our guest, but a filter is not a wall. If we had to flee, we would search globally for open doors. Let’s be one.

 For, to welcome from the heart is also a great healing gift for oneself. The power to receive well is healing for both parties involved. And this nation clearly needs healing.

 No one is unredeemable, or cannot be touched by Grace. Come on America, don’t close your heart now. You’re still needed in the human family and drama. Play your part while you still can. Let our cousins be sheltered until they can see straight what’s next for them.

 They will be a blessing to you, if you receive them in love.

  Thanks for listening, needed to get that off my chest and heart. Bono has other things to say to europe now (those closest to the current crisis, so in someways able to model neighborly love the most directly!), but this one towards America rang true to me.

 We’re just one person, one nation, and as all nations are meant to be, under God, whether we think so or not. Once we place ourselves under God, we can fulfill our tiny or larger parts of His Story on earth. Let’s play our part!

Working on an article about stewarding and completing the symbols of our lives-starting and finishing well, symbolically….came across this–

“Complete your symbols!

 If the first half of life, is finding your true symbols (who you really are), the second is more fully tending and harvesting them. The first part of the journey is finding your symbols, and what is your own land to cultivate or be formed within, in and through Him. In the latter half, you have discovered them, and need to tend them into wholeness-to cultivate and complete (make whole) your symbols into a true and fuller interpretation, so your story can be left for others to receive from.

 Now that you know the tree you are, name the bark, so others can sit beneath it’s shade.

 We, in the later half, are no longer insecure or in competition about who we are (having crossed our necessary Jordan’s or deaths to self, we have entered in, been occupied-thus, capable of occupying- and started to learn the wisdom of cultivation, the making fruitful, of our lands), we are beginning to be able to allow Him to start to whisper  the nuances of our names (the white stone whispers!)-to enjoy His articulation of the poems we are- and offer that covering for others to discover their own poems.

 To fill in His story of who we are in Him-His Testimony through us. We start to let Him tell His story through ours. The story of our lives from God’s perspective. Ask Him to tell you your story-you’ll be surprised!

 For, He is pronouncing the poems of Himself through the poems of who we are. And our task is to collaborate in blooming, and co-stewarding and collaborating into the completion our true inner symbols.So they can be seen interpreted and read by others.

Allow Him to finish the story of you. Tell you as a tale. Interpret His story of yourself, so others can clearly see it was always about Him. And, the glory of a true song, rightly sung, is about the Singer! God is our Singer. We are His bended reeds to play on and with!” Nice. I love finding thought-treasures like these.

Complete your symbols!

  If the first half of life is finding your true symbols, the second is more fully tending and harvesting them. The first part of the journey is finding your symbols, and what is your own land to cultivate or be formed within in Him. In the latter half, you have discovered them, and need to tend them into wholeness-to cultivate your symbols into a true and fuller interpretation, so your story can be left for others to receive from. We are no longer insecure or in competition about who we are, we are able to allow Him to start to whisper nuances. To fill in His story of who we are in Him. He is pronouncing the poems of Himself through the poems of who we are. And our task is to collaborate in blooming our true inner symbols.

For example, i live (invest, dwell intentionally nurture) in three cities currently, each represents a unique aspect of my own story, and His Story through me. Each symbolizes part of His story of my life.

The three cities I occupy in this season for instance, are aspects of a whole symbol. Currently for me these would be: Austin, San Fran and Antwerp—each symbolize different aspects of your calling and His Story through your life. They each need to be harvested uniquely. But in Him, they are integrated. As we get older, the parts of our lives start to integrate into one centered experience and expression. As we grow up in Him, He literally brings the rooms of ourselves under the same roof. He is that roof. And Jesus is the key to integration and identity. We had to believe that by faith at the start, but now we know it, and we watch Him slowly gather our houses into One expression.

Our outer symbols have attached with our inner reality, and our lives can be read as art telling a story. There is a complete narrative in Christ. He who formed us, is also able to pronounce us, as we remain yielded and faithful. How He is allowed to symbolize Himself through the story of your own life, is one of the funnest and best collaborations you will ever experience! You get to watch The Master Artist, doing His thing through your very life story!

Our outer lives and activities start to reflect directly our inner reality. The medium becomes the message! The outer frame starts to symbolize the inner reality of who you are. This occurs in Christ. And it is His pleasure to make us more whole as His Art. Who we actually are, starts to express itself in all we do outwardly. And this is a great mystery of a long life yielded!

One of the saddest things in life is to feel a life cut short, or a story not fully told, explained or expressed. When the symbols are not complete, we feel impartial. Like the body of an artist work which never got to be complete. We have a Curt Cobain moment, or many other artist who didn’t get to finish their symbols. As those in Christ, we are able to finish and cultivate our symbols, and allow Him to make the full body of art He desires to make through our lives. And that is beautiful!

In the first half of life, people are searching for self- what is home, what is Real, what is theirs to know and tend. What symbolizes them. We search through jobs, relationships, travel, to define ourselves. In the second, you know what’s yours and you begin to refine it and teach it to others. We switch from define to refine, once we know the basic story line of our lives. Mine art, spirituality, integration, and identity. Creativity and Identity and their proper relationship in Jesus.

Will you leave completed symbols on the earth? Now that you’ve found your symbolic lands, how to cultivate and complete them. That’s the second half of life’s mandate. The second half of life is about that symbolic efficiency and effulgence! You know what you have to tend, now you can make it fruitful with Him—finish the lines of your poem! Let Him enjoy the final chapters, and say with you, it is finished! It is whole, completed, expressed fully!

As you go into the 2nd half of life, you want to refine what you already have. You want to make each symbol more complete!!! Stewarding your symbols becomes a pleasure. When young, you found them, now to edit refine and share them. To tell the whole story. To collaborate in completing your testimony—His story of your life! This becomes your passion.

You see those who still want to do the first half of life’s task, while clearly standing the second. They still want to get their symbols out, or to discover them. But we are meant to be tending them in the later half of life. To already know who we are in Him, and be secure in that, and now to work on expressing it in a way which will bless those after us!

 To complete your symbols on earth, becomes the task of the second half of life. The symbols you searched to find and conquer in the first half of life (blessed are those who overcome in the first half, blessed are those who know in the later part of life (St John)—the true images of self or yourself, others and the world, can now be contoured, completed, filled in, outlined, interpreted for others and shared. The story can be told! The second half of life is to tell the whole story well. To complete the symbols in Peace and with Wisdom and articulation. No longer are you in competition, so you can complete your symbols in peace. Walk them out! Steward your story well. Cultivate the pleasant lines of your inheritance!

Having crossed your Jordans (your necessary deaths to self), having entered the land of your inheritance (the pleasant lines of yours), having occupied, possessed-now, you move on to cultivate, to bear fruit which will outlast you. The colorful fruit He desires to express through the story of your life! To complete the symbol of God’s story through your life. To interpret your life as a sign for others. To tell the whole story-His story of your life. To do so, you must steward the symbols of your life. Jesus completed His symbols! And like Him, we should be able to say at the end, “It is finished!” Let’s us allow Him to finish His story of our lives. Now that we know them, let’s steward our symbols well in Him!

   What symbols do you still have left to discover or complete in your life? How can you collaborate with Christ in discovering them, and helping them become whole? If you see yourself as His art, what areas does He want to refine, cultivate, heal and fill in, into His fullest expression of Himself through you?!  How can He complete the contours of what He wants to express through you on earth. He wants to tell the story of Himself through yours. Ask Him, what is His version or interpretation of your story? Write and live that out! His testimony concerning you, is His Testimony about Himself. And He who started a good work–the Author and Finisher of our faith-is able to cause us to be (to cause us to stand-Romans 14:4), and finish the stories we are in Him! Allow Him to finish His own story of you!

Complete your symbols.

If the first half of life is finding your true symbols, the second is more fully tending and harvesting them. For example, i live (invest, dwell intentionally nurture) in three cities currently, each represents a unique aspect of my own story, and His Story through me. Each symbolizes part of His story of my life.

The three cities you occupy are aspects of a whole symbol. Austin, San Fran and Antwerp—each symbolize different aspects of your calling and identity in His. They are part of His story through yours!

You could base in whichever you choose, but they are actually all part of One whole symbol. Austin, pastoral creative haven; san fran, visual intelligence and global launching, Antwerp, monastic gateway into europe and the nations…you can occupy all three and rotate seasonally. Or however you choose, but they are all part of His Story of you! Part of His Testimony, He is completing through the art of your life–part of the path prepared beforehand to be your “way” in Him (Ephesians 2:10). That way is eternal. The trajectory of your story is something “in Him”! It’s inviolable, eternal, and a poem He made up! So there is no threat to loss of identity, as we enter more deeply into His. Peter was given his own name, by seeing who Jesus was!

In the first half of life people are searching for self, what is home, what is Real, what is theirs to know and tend. What symbolizes them. In the second, you know what’s yours and you begin to refine it and teach it to others. Mine art, spirituality, integration, and identity. Creativity and Identity and their proper relationship in Jesus.

Will you leave completed symbols on the earth? Now that you’ve found your symbolic lands, how to cultivate and complete them. That’s the second half of life’s mandate. The second half of life is about that symbolic efficiency. You know what you have to tend, now you can make it fruitful—finish the lines of your poem!

As you go into the 2nd half of life, you want to refine what you already have. You want to make each symbol more complete!!! Stewarding your symbols becomes a pleasure. When young, you found them, now to edit refine and share them. To tell the whole story. To collaborate in completing your testimony—His story of your life! This becomes your passion.

To complete your symbols on earth, becomes the task of the second half of life. The symbols you searched to find and conquer in the first half of life—the true images of self or yourself, others and the world, can now be contoured, completed, filled in, outlined, shared. The story can be told! The second half of life is to tell the whole story well. To complete the symbols in Peace and with Wisdom and articulation. No longer are you in competition, so you can complete your symbols in peace. Walk them out! Steward your story well. Cultivate the pleasant lines of your inheritance!

Having crossed your Jordans (your necessary deaths to self), having entered the land of your inheritance (the pleasant lines of yours), having occupied, possessed-now, you move on to cultivate, to bear fruit which will outlast you. So others can rest beneath the shade of your trees, and eat from your gardens! To complete the symbol of God’s story through your life. To interpret your life as a sign for others. To tell the whole story-His story of your life. To do so, you must steward the symbols of your life. Jesus completed His symbols! Let’s us allow Him to tell the whole story, to complete His symbols of who He is through us! Let’s steward our symbols with Him in collaboration until He is done. And like Him, be able to say, “It is finished”.

Complete your symbols.

If the first half of life is finding your true symbols, the second is more fully tending and harvesting them. For example i live in three cities currently, each represents a unique aspect of my own story. Each symbolizes part of the story of my life.

The three cities you occupy are aspects of a whole symbol. Austin, San Fran and Antwerp—each symbolize different aspects of your calling and identity–His expression of His Life through you.

You could base in whichever you choose, but they are actually all part of One whole symbol. Austin, pastoral creative haven; san fran, visual intelligence and global launching, Antwerp, monastic gateway into europe and the nations…you can occupy all three and rotate seasonally.

In the first half of life people are searching for self,  and what are the symbols which are yours-what is home, what is Real, what is yours to know and tend. In the second, you know what’s yours and you begin to refine it and teach it to others. You cultivate and make pleasant the lines of your inheritance!  Mine art, authentic spirituality, integration, and identity. Creativity and Identity and their proper relationship in Jesus. How we find ourselves in finding Him!

listening to my off line self:

my off line self wasn’t happy with my on line self today

it felt neglected, so i let it represent itself in silence

with only the angels as audience. i think it felt relieved

as it kept speaking in poetry and prayer.

after all, it said, if we don’t tend the well

how will we have a thing to say-what real clear water on the surface

will we have to share when someone is truly thirsty.

i adhered to that and quoted david to myself-

be still, waters of my soul, and know.

my private self keeps leading and informing my public self,

my inner self is where the treasures reside. Some hide, some get shared at the right time. I think i’ll tend you, from which the rest is overflow…

i think i’ll keep it like that.

My favorite monk quote today: “We are becoming the highlights of His Kingdom film that He projects on the enormous screen of the universe for His Own viewing pleasure. We get to be actors in His own cinema.” That quote made me happy. It’s a different, more nuanced way of calling us sons and daughters, brothers and sisters (family metaphor).

  More like Paul’s idea that we are His best poetry (masterpieces) worth pronouncing (Ephesians 2:10), and which He is capable of pronouncing through The Son. That one, is more like life as a grand poetry reading by God, which I’ve always related to. But cinema is another helpful and current metaphor! Nice.

   We are songs waiting to be sung, notes waiting to be played, poetry waiting to be read, or a film waiting to be projected uninterruptedly forever, as we yield into and to the Great Film Director! Good meditation today. Apropos in a city of great visual intelligence anyway. Not unlike Paris. Maybe this monk could translate best the Kingdom categories to this type of person or city. I always liked how St Paul switched to poetry or philosophy when needed to communicate the message-why not film?! Just a flickering thought today!

My books and the birds: today’s homily.

Back in my monastic study in Belgium rehearsing my homily teaching to the sea gulls (zeemeeuwen) and church bells.

 I’m teaching this week from Acts 13:1-4, about how the elders in Antioch needed to be praying, fasting and “ministering to The Lord” (to be priestly before prophetic or kingly), before they knew who or when to send people or projects, on various spiritual missions. Heavy topic, but the birds took it lightly this morning.

That Jesus only did what He SAW the Father doing. In scriptures seeing is part of knowing. To see precedes to send or to do. That like Him, apart from God we can do nothing.

 The basic spirituality of these elders was prayer, study, teaching, seeing what Father was doing, then sending people on spiritual missions.

 It’s sort of about how the priestly precedes the prophetic and kingly dimensions of God. Seeing spiritually to know what to do. As when Elisha opened the eyes of one of his students, so he could see the bigger picture! But that sounded too heavy. So,  leaders should do their priestly intimate work before assisting others. Like on an airplane, you need the oxygen first, then administer it to others.

 But this passage comes with a warning as well. The birds seemed to stop in mid air when i said this.

 The elders must be ministering to the Lord, before they can even see who or when to send the younger ones. For The Spirit is the one who sends! We empower (lay on hands) and send only after we see. So many are pre-sent, so that people can’t even see what a christian looks like. They seemed to agree! So I’ll amplify that point when the time comes. I’m talking about the matured version of apostolic sending, i said, as I stood up. These guys knew how to send, for they themselves had been sent! (John 17)

 I went on (as i still had jet lag), apart from Him, we an do nothing. So, if a person isn’t formed yet, they won’t bear lasting fruit, and they mis-represent the image of Christ. Even Jesus, only did what He saw The Father doing.

There is also the issue of timing. Jesus was sent at the right time, and He sent at the right time. I love timing!

 Just because you have the anointing to send, doesn’t mean you should. Saul never lost his anointing, but misused it often! At one point assuming the role of priest. That got him in trouble.

 I told the birds, you remember what Ghandi said: “I would become a christian, if I ever saw one.” Be careful who and how you send, I continued, discipleship and formation precede  calling or being sent to fly or minister. If you’ve never seen a spiritually mature person, why would you want to become one. They seemed to laugh at that, or were they just squawking?

 It’s a deep word, but I heard the seagulls responding to it. Or perhaps they were just hungry. Regardless the word is out. Jeremiah talked to mountains. I prefer birds! They travel farther! Regardless, good to be back in my study in Antwerp this week with my books and the birds, thinking about the wisdom of sending. I’ll let you know as this sermon develops into a real word!

Sorry for the length, but it was Sunday when i offered this sermon, and I often get homiletic on Sundays; after all, my father is a baptist minister and my mother an operatic singer artist. The gulls seemed to like it; unfortunately, i can’t take up an offering from them! Afterwards, I sent the birds on their way, after praying of course, and seeing that it was time for them to go find today’s fish!

…from a conversation after a friend passed away: how we die, is a symbol.

“If you understand how to die, the living comes. Making your relationship with death clear, as an act of service to others. Serve and be thankful through it. Manifest, the way and life of Jesus in it, as you did in life-That’s the point. How we die, tells people how we lived. People need to see that inner trust in God to carry you over. Most of us never expected death, so don’t really know how to walk through it in service and trust. I’ve watched people do it well, and it blesses in every direction.

  Also i think there is something about the cloud of witnesses involved. I don’t mind resting, but i really want to be with those guys directly. They feel like my buddies. Really. I’ve been going up in that elder circle for a while (sometimes God has me visualize a stairwell, other times an elevator or a balloon; though the balloon symbol is usually about perspective and pacing on earth—going up there periodically to ask questions. I can’t remember when that started, sort of open visions, and visitations to my elder’s circle, but it’s frequent.

 If I have a pastoral question, i’ll ask Nouwen, if a deep spirit soul question or how the metaphysics of it works, I’ll ask Thomas Merton etc. There is also a native american in my circle. Also there is active learning going on there. So it’s not that we stop growing, when we die. Not sure how aging works in heaven.

Fast forward to the moment before you die; would you not just slip right over, just more constantly. I mean it’s the same God on “both” sides. And your relationship doesn’t change, so why not just slip right over into Him, as you slip out of your physical body. Still, i don’t like the idea of resting or laying around in some in between. I want to be in the action—right in the action!

Especially if that action is restoring the earth and being in Jerusalem, and setting the nations in order, so we can see what its all meant to look like. Then later in the new heavens and earth, i’m also interested in collaborating. But just keep me near Him and in the action.

Since we live in plain view of such a cloud of witnesses, live accordingly!”