I like, in evening, dipping my head through branches, and catching sight of the brightest evening star, and then when i see the crescent moon as a surprise, I’m shocked and shook again! That happened this evening. Humbling; forces one to want to bow even-the urge to worship is in us daily! Thankful for small wonders, which shake and shook me awake again today.

Love’s best words today, occurred in Silence.

Sharing silent being:
Today, just sat near a friend in a local cafe both of us reading books. She, a mom of two on her lunch break, me who and where i am. We occasionally recognized one another’s presence in honor. Like a breath between friends, a mutual recognizing of being.
I like sharing silent space with people–being to being, shared silence. Just us, being human together in all our needs and unspoken becoming glories.
Just us, side to side in our becoming glories. Nice exchange in silence today.

My dad, who used to take me on road trips when i was a kid, to some of the places I was interested in—Buddy Holly’s hometown, Bruce Springsteen’s house, Graceland, the Grand Canyon and places like that– and I used to ride for hours across the country on road trips in silence like that. Both of us just being ourselves and sharing space in unspoken love. I like that space between us.

Grief:
And, for a long while
the days all ran together
time blurred itself
until the consecrated slots of day and night returned
like another genesis brooding…
dusk, dawn, evening again
and i saw the star rising within again-i could read sentences now,
when grief finally subsided the page came back into focus;
i could once again see land and sea, woman’s wrist in soft light’s glory,
a child’s eyes, a particular bridge at sunset,
and I felt like Noah’s bird, sent out to find a branch
of hope for us yet. I flew for a few days, watching the earth,
looking for a break in the waters, a fissure of what was there before;
i had been hovering over a void, for a while
then jumped back in and swam for land. And named it, once there.
And I returned to myself again, and started writing
more lines…stewarding my garden again.

More insights from counseling this week….since, a friend asked, what are you gleaning from your fields of interest this week! Great question. I’m mainly counseling so…

The main thing with helping others is to bring in Love’s actual presence. To “hook up” with Love’s actual Presence towards myself and then others, and specifically start to tune in to the nuances of Love towards this other person i get to encounter and hopefully bless today. To get into the I-am part of God. The God is Love part. The Father’s space towards myself and others.

We have to often step outside our roles and frames in order to see ourselves and others more accurately! I practice that through counseling. We are bigger than our roles in life. But to see others outside their frame is helpful. And to ask them, who are they outside of their roles, is also fruitful. I try to practice it before I preach it!

This requires us to come out from the time pressures of the moment, and just sit I am to I am with God, to rest in Him. But it’s always worth it, in the long run. Whatever brings you into living Sabbath, enter there, before you try to move in rest and peace towards others. Then you might receive some useful insights for them. And yourself.

And, I sit there, in that space, for a while, before attempting to help others. To, as on airplanes, breath the oxygen first before administering it to others. But then to really seek how He is giving them their needed seasonal oxygen. I take time on that part beforehand. As long as it takes. It’s always worth it. Because then, i’m not just giving from my gifts, but more from empathy for who they really are, and what they really need. Sometimes, i even decide in prayer, i’m not the best person to bless them today!

So, to be fully present with them. That makes safety for real growth. So beforehand, i pray for the person, until i can see them more how and where they are at. This helps on lots of levels. It helps me use my gifts to bless them more efficiently, but also it gives me a better view of who they are, and what blocks they may need to clear to move forward in life.

It’s a great way of getting to know God’s heart for others. Prayer is always the pre-requisite or prelude to really being helpful to others. It’s not a religious thing for me, more about tuning into a higher perspective of the other person, and therefore being able to love them more deeply. Then, just being very present with them, actually caring. In some sense, it’s so simple, but to get ourselves in Love’s orientation towards others transforms us all.

Often in prayer, i also get tools or useful insights to overcome blocks. But mostly i’ll get a deeper sense of this persons value, and uniqueness and longer narrative.

And since, counseling for me is just another medium to appreciate and get to know the Wisdom of God’s Love, i’m usually blessed more than the other person, by the encounter. I learn so much about who God actually is. And the complexity of what real discipleship or formation is.

I also often ask:

Who is He blessing through me today. Always a good question. Especially if you are constantly trying to throw your arms around the world, like me. Efficiency with our gifts towards one another. We are not meant to minister to everyone each day. There is delineation and specificity of giving if we want to actually meet Him through the tabernacle of helping others. This is the actual spirituality of ministering to others. It’s mutual formation!

Especially on line this requires on line discipline, and pre-prayer. Knowing who you are meant to bless today matters. Who is God giving you to today? And why? Why is He offering your gifts to this person or situation today, helps make counseling part of your actual spirituality and formation. And ends up blessing others more!

So how do you counsel? I pray, i try to get inside of Love, and see the other person where they are in their story. I seek any tools i carry which might help them; and then, just listen well in Love. I’m glad my friend asked me. I often forget that helping others is part of my actual spirituality. I love helping people, and meeting God in the process.

What insights are you gleaning from your fields of interest friends?

Both identity and calling are hidden safe with His Heart.
“Some things are inviolable, for they are held inside of Christ. Like our ultimate identity for instance, and true spiritual friendship.
Our pathways are also hidden in Christ. So inviolable-not able to be penetrated or fractured. We may miss a step or two or even three, but who we are and our path is ultimately hidden inside of Christ’s Heart. Therefore our identity and callings are safe there, as we walk them out in creative collaborative freedom.” Wise older monk.

On listening well:

“One of the biggest needs in America is to listen better to one another. To slow down and listen to others well. It gives God room to be in the room. And it consecrates conversation. Listening well is a spiritual practice, and one of the greatest gifts we give to one another.” Eugene Peterson.

I remember in one of the chapters in one of my dad’s books, i wrote a poem about his gift of listening to me way past dark. In the evening, my dad and I would stay up talking together. Me talking mainly, and him listening. God bless him. He birthed a babbling brook!

But those times together internalized a deep sense of being heard and seen in my inner heart. And it affirmed a sturdy sense of self. This is what father’s can do—affirm your existence by tuning in. Maybe that’s the highest job. But this is also what we can do for one another daily. Valuing another enough to really slow down and listen well is healing.

So many people I work with have really never been heard well, tuned into, depth listened to. And i love listening to those people, learning to honor their own narratives. To sense the inner cadences of their stories. The gift of listening to one another changes lives, calms anger, let’s pain be grieved, and brings humor back to life.

I was blessed to have a listening father in life, but many weren’t. It’s a very simple gift to listen well to others, but it changes lives.

It is one of the largest love gifts i got from my dad, to feel heard, seen, listened to, and it is one of the most useful ways of actually helping others. Being present in love with others can’t be overrated. My dad listens really well, that might be the part of his life which has impacted me the most in my own development.

All the spiritually mature people I’ve ever met, listen well. They are slow enough inside to pause and be with others. They value beholding others deeply. The space they create by listening allows others to become, to come home to themselves. And that walks a long way in life!

This is why i like reading books and learning from those who have learned to listen well. Some film makers have this gift of depth beholding, many ministers and spiritual teachers do: like Henri Nouwen and others, who wrote lots about how to listen and encounter others well—deep to deep heart to heart, or as Martin Buber put it, I to thou! Those types of encounters make us more fully human, more ourselves. Being listened to from the heart affirms and even calls forth true identity. It’s one of the simplest and most profound gifts we can give one another, for listening is one of Love’s favorite mediums.

“Immature teachers don’t ask this question—is God giving what I carry to this person right now in their life? Or am i just needing to share it. Or is He imparting another aspect of Himself, through someone else. They just want to teach what they carry, regardless of whether their seeds are useful. But the wise teacher waits for the good soil, the teachable student who both needs and wants to learn what they carry! And the wise teacher then learns what they themselves have to teach in wisdom.”
(Medieval monk scholar from a diary entry called, “Be careful when and who you teach”. If your seeds are meant for that person, you also will be transformed by it as well, was his basic idea. Nice!)

Since I’m doing more counseling this season, thought I’d share…
Five (5 1/2) questions I always ask when counseling folks:

Where do you see yourself in your own story? (assuming they can see their story and believe they are one!)
What’s the next chapter?
What are the current and past blocks to walking into the next chapter?
Where are you spiritually alive and growing?
How do you interpret your life?
What is your “upper story” for interpreting—your grand narrative?
How does your story fit into that grander narrative?

After prayer beforehand, I always start there, and see what emerges in conversation! I usually use the arts in counseling, asking folks to make some art about where they are now, and what they see next. An image of now and next helps!

If they are blocked, often the art in collaboration with The Spirit, will by pass it and give them an image of the next season, so they can move forward, or work on removing the blocks themselves. The more I counsel people, the more i see the same patterns. What a joy to help someone move forward in their narratives! It’s been my chief joy lately!

I mainly like teaching or counseling people towards living from their truer self, or deeper self; how to have an authentic spirituality; how to keep growing spiritually; and how to integrate their creativity with their faith or spirituality. These are my life topics, and passion points i keep returning to. I’m fascinated by true identity and authentic expression. How our creativity can flow from our true self.