Author Archives: storehaufovic

09 Saturday Jan 2016

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When my wife and I got home this week, we were locked out of our house, so we decided to sleep in my trailer for two. Nice to recall that home is not a physical structure, but a spiritual space,. It was nice to be vulnerable together again-to sukkot together once more. As they say where i am from, “rough weather makes good timber”. Anyway, thought I’d write a poem about our first night back to harvest even the bumps of coming home. It’s good to harvest the bumps in life, as there are so many little potential poems in waiting there.
locked out of our house, we
slept instead, in the airstream together last night
in the vulnerable steel cold distant wind womb
we tucked into some other world within
with faux firelight imaging at our feet
flickering from some unseen electric source.
(us who try to imitate the force and clarity of fire)
entering dream together,
we almost slipped out from our skins, freely into heaven…
and the possums, rats and cats
didn’t seem to mind us
being locked out with them
beneath the constant stars shimmering.

Each evening’s light

09 Saturday Jan 2016

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dogs bark in evening’s glow
church bells from somewhere below bellow;
and us, staring at the tree limbs shaping or at least framing, the sky
are encompassed in this view of emerging stars…
each, part of some constellation,
our skin tingling in cool evening tones.
whatever we were in the day
is passing, and we are becoming
what we look at well.
i’ve lived through a thousand evenings myself
but this is another, and we are cast into the sky
as beginners until we see it again.
I’m not saying each day is heaven, but
each day offers a keyhole to look through
until we become what we really see there.
that dog is moaning now, hungry for night feedings.
we are cold again on this rooftop, and waiting for morning;
but there again, is that star in red glow rising-seemingly,
not just for hope, but for something warmer like assurance
that morning will come and our skins will warm into another light again
and we will be fully home, in what we already know by each evening’s light.
Derek

After 911

26 Saturday Dec 2015

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After 911,
We were looking for “anything which was not nothing.”
even Styrofoam cups, too, held now, a new meaning.
(parts of xerox machines tumbling, along with the rest.)
Were there fresh coffee stains still warm in that one I found?
was someone sipping it on the way down, still chasing off and coming into
morning? did the angels borrow a sip for comfort too?
on the way down
we waited on George Washington’s bridge with all sort of tears;
some pressed back, some stuck in mid air…our fears, almost useless, until
one trucker told me he knew this day would come
he had seen it in a dream.  As for me, all i could see was an enormous thumb, lifting
and dragon black clouds forcefully forming over time.
we ran in shock, off the bridge leaving our stupid cars where they were
mostly we ran to pay phones down below, trying to call out, but
everything was frozen, jammed, static without motion-
then a voice would emerge, something familiar
i pulled out a quarter from my pocket, which i remarkable had
and called my friend in Brooklyn
everything ok friend? i’m watching them fall with you
just wanted you to know, we are one in witnessing at least.
then they made us run to our cars and take them off the bridge
for fear of more to come.
i could barely remember my indistinguishable rental car from Logan
i think it was black, that would make sense
we had to drive out of there. no one really knowing
who to help most. and all of us trembling on
one level or another, forever.

Crowning around!

04 Friday Dec 2015

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Thankful when children remind you, that you are really a king. Happened this weekend with a young astute friend at our thanksgiving gathering. She told me, “You have a throne, and it is really cool.” When children treat you as a king, it makes you stand or sit into your best self, or at least try.
So, i’m trying on my crown today, trying to get used to it—the whole co-heir thing (no longer slaves, but sons and daughters, co-heirs—Galatians 4.)
Our royalty is certainly not based on performance, but through Another’s royal-ness, we are nevertheless regal—reflectors of royalty! Might as well get used to it-our particular radiances, as St. Paul puts it. Try on our costumes down here until we get used to them.
I love spiritual costuming. Dress as your real self, until you get used to it. Or as, the German film maker, Wim Wenders put it, “try on that outfit, until you feel like yourself” (from his documentary, “notebook on cities and clothes”-a great documentary by the way! A German, carefully and kindly, and keenly observing a Japanese artist!).
I love this idea of fashion as healing or part of making us whole. The outer expression teaching our inner lives to shine!
Amy and I want to throw a party where everyone dresses as their eternal selves. Of course, it would take time to find the right costumes, but what a cool party that would (will) be. Nice to rehearse while here anyway.

Resting in Father God

30 Monday Nov 2015

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Resting in Father
One of the biggest problems i see in Christianity spirituality today, is a lack of deep residing in, and knowing of the Father. Many are willing to serve with Jesus, but not reside in His Father. There is a core issue of “doing for” God, rather than being “in Him”. The early desert fathers tried to reveal and emphasize, that being in His Nature should be our central aim, even above doing “for” Him. We serve the poor in order to meet Him. We cannot really even help the needy if we are not “in Him”. And, we cannot perform our way into heaven, as one monk put it. That peace which comes from being fully seen loved adored engulfed in Father God, just as Jesus is-this is the space to cultivate. When we find that “space”, we are home already, as St Paul was, and are willing to “do” whatever. Love God, and do whatever, as St Augustine put it. Van Gogh, a former pastor, comes from the other side: “The way to know God, is to love many things deeply.” We need to develop a father-centric spirituality. When we do, we will manifest the fruits of His Spirit, and live in a Peace which passes all understanding. There is a great patience, even towards ourselves and our own development, in The Spirit of The Father, and great knowing that is able to just be, down here. So few creatures are comfortable just being in their own skin, their own contours. Animals often teach me the most about what it’s like to just be. They are just being themselves, and in doing so, as Merton said—when we are being ourselves it is a praise to God. Are we resting in our Creator, are we resting our being in His Being? For Strong is His Hold, as the american poet, Galway Kinnell puts it. We are those called to enter Jesus’ own spirituality which was and is centered on His Father!

27 Friday Nov 2015

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A brief homily:
“The way to share about your faith (whatever you actually believe in), or what keeps you spiritually centered, is to tell your story. Be authentic. Be real. Be yourself, and tell the truth about how it’s been. The reality is that this way, breaks through religion; of course, we don’t have to be embarrassed by moving the Spirit of the Jewish God, but we need to be real about it. But we need to be real about our own experience of it. Then that integration happens between our real lives, our expression and our spirituality-our “testimony”, or outer expression, becomes authentic! And that is contagious, and a clearer reflection of whoever we are serving. Get out of the way, like John the Baptist, by being real. Authenticity creates a true platform for sharing about deeper things. When we are being ourselves, the poem of who we are comes out, and attracts people to whatever we are moving in, regardless of where we are on our journeys. Authentic identity is a form of evangelism. We are all in the end stories of Grace, but not all of us are being honest about it. Things become beautiful when they are being themselves.” (an interesting and challenging sermon i heard this week)

photo response…

19 Thursday Nov 2015

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A prophetic response to a photo a friend put up:
I think you’re Patricia right on that image friend! Some Divine communication on it or in it!
Sorry for the length of response, but when i saw that image, i started getting a whole interpretation! It’s loaded!
here’s a lightning quick interpretation…
The specific location matters, but it’s a general message for us all. The lightening bolt on the right—direct revelation into the sea (i.e. nations, mankind, people; when Jesus teaches on the sea, it was always to the people groups); God is not slow to speak, we are slow to listen! He is clearly speaking now, specifically to the nations or peoples!
The other communication lines (on the left) are slightly broken but still touch down and communicate to those with ears, and the conductivity, recpetivity of water.
Above it is constant unbroken conversation, among the angels and His Servants and those who can see Reality-indicated visually by the inverted bowl of electric currents in the top of the image!
We are given the Voice, but then become conduits or messages carrying it, as we receive. Also, our own horizons-where lightening meets water visually- are meeting places with the Divine. Wisdom meets at the rims ridges rivers, meeting places. Sky and water. Bolts between are communications between Divine and us. Could keep downloading that image’s meaning, but specifically because it was taken in a rarefied or specifically symbolic space—how He often does the unseen high place work firstly, and then it’s carried down the mountain into the valleys….
God is speaking clearly now, even though our lines of communication are broken, and there is much confusion or even fear of storms themselves. Or lack of discernment between types of storms-His versus the enemies and demonic forces.
And yet, for those with opened ears, or eyes we hear  and see the sheer rip of lightning communication over, onto and into our waters etc….nice one…lots to interpret there. There is never a time when He is not speaking, but He makes spaces that it becomes obvious on the earth, so we can see and know, hear and act….choose to continue to say yes to His Voice.
Specifically with this image, that it is taken in “the middle east”, He is drawing our attention to the fact that He is speaking a clear word into and through those nations (syria etc) and we should take note-or at least a photo! That’s where His contact point—where lightening meets water- is now. Easiest place to overhear Him!
So the world is finally looking east again, which will continue to be the case until the end. Anyways, fun doing quick prophetic interpretations of loaded images—thanks for sharing that one Andrew!
Of course the downloading of The Law was also one of those moments when Divine communication touched clearly down, and interestingly, people were also afraid then. They could not deal with the intensity of direct communication. But we are not to look away from the smoke, the lightning the thunder, but rather towards it, and enter in to that Divine exchange! That is one of the challenges of now. To not act as the people did when God spoke on My Sinai. To not live in fear, but help interpret the signs as prophets did!

A Parisien Heart

14 Saturday Nov 2015

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Back in Austin with our hearts in Paris:
Back in Austin, our neighborhood is all out planting trees in public spaces together today. Gotta love this city. Not in denial of global tragedies (more than aware, we had many french officials here doing a sister city tour yesterday; and did a co-blessing ceremony last night with our french friends at our capital; i think, if anything America is re-traumatized by this event, which may be necessary as I’m not sure we fully healed or dealt with 911 all the way as a nation; reacting and healing are two different processes), But planting new life as a sign feels right today. Plant life in the place of death. I may take one of these trees and plant it in my favorite park in Paris for New Years. ( to be specific, Luxembourg Park—love that one, near St Michael’s; many films have been shot in this park, and it touches me)
Feels like we are doing that with our personal land here as well. Buying land in Anathoth like Jeremiah did even as the nation was being taken over (as a sign of hope), or in a serious leadership crisis as was true in his times and ours.
Anyway, it’s like a clearing in the forest here today, beneath a light cool rain, which must’ve traveled from a distance, judging from its scent. Austin, nice to see you again old friend.
In prayer this morning, saw so many angels of all stripes and colors descending into Paris today-this vision was comforting. Maybe we should pray for the angels serving, as they seem less interrupted than us.
I think I’ll go make art with the elderly people across the street today for fun, and listen to some records-that generation loves vinyl and un-ironically! They get bored, as do I. Might as well live each day, in the midst and while bearing the global tumult!
Of course, still praying for Paris, specifically that she would feel comforted, cared about, and have wisdom not just reaction, spiritual intelligence in how to address the complexity of un-healed generational wounds between people groups and members of our family which are clearly acting out in our global village these days.
Old issues, all seemingly coming to the surface at once in that symbolizing city. Requires love on all sides. Yet clearly, we cannot earn Grace (or heavenly rewards) by killing one another, even verbally. We win nothing, even in eternity by killing one another down here! Teach us to love our family, and to be kind to one another! And to father and mother those in need.

13 Friday Nov 2015

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Another little airport meditation:
“Again Jesus began to teach beside the lake. And a very great crowd gathered about Him, so that He got into a ship in order to sit in it on the sea, and the whole crowd was at the lakeside on the shore. And He taught them many things in parables (illustrations or comparisons put beside truths to explain them), and in His teaching He said to them:
Give attention to this! ……
And as soon as He was alone, those who were around Him, with the Twelve [apostles], began to ask Him about the parables.
And He said to them, To you has been entrusted the mystery of the kingdom of God [that is, [b]the secret counsels of God which are hidden from the ungodly]; but for those outside [[c]of our circle] everything becomes a parable…(a riddle to trip them into an encounter of the spiritual Kingdom)…
(Things are hidden temporarily only as a means or trigger into revelation.)
For there is nothing hidden except to be revealed, nor is anything [temporarily] kept secret except in order that it may be made known….
If anyone has ears to hear, let them be listening and let them perceive and comprehend.
The earth produces [acting] by itself—first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.
But when the grain is ripe and permits, immediately he sends forth [the reapers] andputs in the sickle, because the harvest stands ready.
With many such parables [Jesus] spoke the Word to them, as they were able to hear and [n]to comprehend and understand.
He did not tell them anything without a parable (a riddle, a symbolic story, a little poem of being); but privately to His disciples ([o]those who were peculiarly His own) He explained everything [fully]….
 On that same day [when] evening had come, He said to them, Let us go over to the other side [of the lake].
 And leaving the throng, they took Him with them, [just] as He was, in the boat [in which He was sitting]. And other boats were with Him….
They came to the other side of the sea…
And as soon as He got out of the boat, there met Him out of the tombs a man [under the power] of an unclean spirit.”(Amplified-pump it up-version)
Jesus on a boat (among other boats, which makes you wonder who all saw Him teaching, and calming storms, controlling nature!) in the water teaching the masses of people (that’s enough for pause for consideration); and then breaking his teaching and methodology down afterwards to his inner circle (those who were peculiarly His!), at the same time as training them experientially during the storm, increasing their faith and understanding, and preparing them for what was on the other side of the body of water—a deliverance situation with a demonized man.
What a great story and scene from the life of Jesus while on earth! What an existential experiential teacher as well!
Again, if we enter these vignettes as little windows of understanding, the bible becomes so very rich and personal. This story is lots about how to teach and train as well. If we approach it as just a religious text or propaganda, we miss the inner meaning of the great tales in the book.
“I could meditate on any of these stories forever.” one great early desert father said. “If you just gave me half of one of the stories in the bible, i could build a mountain of truths and art.” Again here, Jesus’ most often used practical metaphors—farming, finances, fishing and family…what a great teacher! Very down to earth with his metaphors. Wanting to be understood clearly. Hard to ignore what a master teacher He was, even if you, as many have said, “have problems with His followers!”

13 Friday Nov 2015

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Sorry to be so overtly spiritual, but these little teachings keep coming to me as I travel…

Walking blamelessly…another airport meditation:

The journey begins with owning our blame. I’m in the wrong, I need to make it right. That’s what Adam and Eve, our parents, couldn’t do. And yet…
Keep me on “the blameless way”, David writes. Nice line. Paul echoes it later with, that we may be pure and blameless on that day. Then, Jesus, without blemish or blame (spotless, sin-free) tells us we are His siblings. Ok. Getting that word.
We don’t become blameless through religious practice! But through, admitting our guilt, and unioning with the blameless One who is also, the blameless way. The Tao of Jesus, so to speak.
All the types or pathways of sin are present in the garden story if you look at it carefully!
Adam blamed Eve, early on, and Eve blamed the serpent. We, too tend to blame something else for our troubles-our parents, our situation-but then there is this blameless way or One. So we stay near to Him and walk into the final room blameless. That’s the way to blame free living. The blame game never works anyways.