The gift and burden of insight! (Confessions of a counselor)

I like getting insights into people. People are amazing. I’ve never met a person who didn’t amaze me on some level. And people are always more complex than you assume.

I studied, been in and done counseling for many years, but you never fully get perfect at how to use best the insights you get into people. I think I’ve gotten better at it, but it’s still always humbling to see into people.

I get insights into people often. Sometimes its good and helpful in loving them. Other times, its like the girl jogging in that scene from the film “Run Lola Run”, where she sees into every person she passes. Too much information, and you have to filter it, or let it go.

Plus, it requires relationship to help in healing. Often, I’ll see into people I don’t yet know. That’s a unique challenge.

 I suppose it’s learning how to steward discernment or insight. It’s meant to bless people, but some days, it’s more like an overload of information. Sometimes your eyes get seared by what you see, as in trauma situations. There is visual trauma as well. Seeing someone’s hurt or wound too quickly or all at once. This happened yesterday several times—like reading too much of other’s mail. I’m sure this happens to counselors all the time, and they have to release what they have seen. “Take it to the Cross” daily as they say. To the Cross often, is my version. “His burden is “light”—it is insight into how things really are, and He knows how much we can carry. And only He can carry that level of vision. Still He lets us see little parts of what He sees in order to get to know Him.”

 I’ll keep jogging and seeing though! I like people. And it’s worth it to gaze into hearts. Gazing well (in love) is underrated in healing! Even when afterwards, it feels a bit like having watched a horror movie. Other times, it’s lighter. Yesterday was working with a girl with panic attacks who has been recently traumatized, so it was more like horror movie feeling afterwards. Always amazed at how much suffering some can endure. Make me turn often to “The Man of Sorrows”, who is intimately acquainted with all our grief. That practice becomes part of your spirituality if you like to counsel people.

  Anyway, if you never saw that film, it’s still great. I think I’ll re-watch it tonight in fact—great soundtrack, shot mostly in Berlin, i think. She uses her gifts to save her man in the end. A redemptive healing story. But somedays discernment is harder to carry than others. You wish you could just turn it off. Still, i would rather see than be blind, when it comes to people and places. And love people rather than not care about them. This is the burden and gift of awareness i suppose. I’m just learning to run with it.

Simple love: sorry to be so cheesy, or overly sentimental but sometimes love is simple. This girl touched my heart last night.

 Saw a girl last night who exuded such loneliness. Immediately, I asked her how was her night, and if she needed anything. Because I didn’t know her, i didn’t hug her, but she needed that type of care. A pure father hug. Sometimes people just need to be seen in their days. Noticed. To know their stories matter.

Lonely people usually mostly need a real father or mother hug (something which doesn’t take from, or need anything from, but gives to “from internal abundance”), a listening ear. or to be acknowledged by someone—a gift of purity and care.

 So many lonely people in our midst. Just wanting to be tuned into as people at the end of the day. Can we do at least this for one another! It’s basic to care about one another’s days.

 I think of Mother Teresa’s story of the fellow who had been isolated all his life because of disease, and at the end, got welcomed into their community, and said “for the first time I feel family. Now, I’m ok with dying.” People need to feel apart of something and cared for, seen—it’s basic and simple love.

  Lonely people make me want to be pure in loving others. To just be present for them, and caring. Less concerned with my needs, and more with theirs. Once we know we are loved in our own heart bones, it’s something we can give others. Once we know we belong and are beloved, fully accepted and seen, we can offer that simple, but essential, gift to others.

 I never struggled much with loneliness. I did with depression. But I know that many people globally feel lonely, isolated, cut off from care and community. We can do small daily things to prevent that. And it’s free. We invest only our presence, a bit of awareness, and some simple love. Simple love saves lives.

 As I moved on in my night, i could sense that this girl may be considering taking her own life. There’s absolutely no reason for that. Just holding a door for, and listening to someone can prevent it, on any given day. Trying to practice simple love each day, anyway.

Art Responding: This is one of the ways I process life!

After reading books, i like to make art responses in a different medium, to see what I took in. It’s a way of letting art dialogue with art, but also for some reason, always helps me process what I read. What did I really get from this book or encounter.

This is a drawing I’m doing after reading again “New Seeds of Contemplation” (Thomas Merton) this week —fun to make art responses to books—you realize the tone of your reading. Tone is everything. Even hearing God, means we listen for the tone of love—that’s always where His voice is. Start there, and you start hearing. I like making art after reading, helps me process what I read. I tend to make art responses to almost all encounters, with people places of things. But I liked how this one had this more eastern feeling, as I was reading lots about prayer and contemplation—things releasing, things coming in and out of color, and seasons of life. A sense of mentor and disciple plants; sort of father or mother plants blowing life into younger but more colorful blooms. When to release, when to cover, when to be brilliant and obvious. Timing of seasons of life. The fleeting or transiency of life, and how that informs and make each day matter. What stage your at, and so, what you have to offer to the whole picture. Etcetera. That’s part of what I get from these sketches. Lots here to learn. Sometimes I learn the most afterwards. Fun way to process. Lots in there, as there was as a read. Plus, making little sketches is fun. I encourage you to make art about your days, or whatever you encounter. It always teaches me new things, I didn’t realize I’d learned.

Assuming all three are a process of discovery and integration. Three basic areas, I’ve always been interested in integrating:

Spirituality: What is your Ultimate or higher in which you ground or interpret your life? (What in your center; what have you placed at the Core of your being; your upper story?)

Identity: who are you, and how do you go about finding out?

Creativity: how does your creativity express both who you are, and from who you really are? How does your art attach and flow from your center?

How do the three integrate around a proper Center, which allows a mutually blessed fluid or dynamic personality?

Centering on the right thing…

Authentic creative spirituality is what I’ve always been interested in modeling and developing in my own life. To be living from who I really am, centered in what really is, and expressing creatively from this Real center.

Everyone must choose what to put in their center. Jesus taught us to lose our sense of of our own self, in order to find our Real self; He also told us, He would reveal to us our names as we put Him at Our Center. And would then be Authored or authentic. I think Jesus answers all these basic human needs. We Center in Him, He tells us who we are, and ground us, and then enjoys as we express it outwardly.

Technically this looks like His Spirit with our spirits at the center of our true identity, then acting in collaboration outwardly in expression. That for me, has become authentic spirituality. And yields real fruit.

To have authentic expressions is a natural outcome of being with Him in my Heart of center, and letting Him sing the song of myself through and in me. Art is overflow in this sense. The basic spirituality is friendship with Jesus at my core. Then I am free to be and express. He is the sustainer of all being. He is truly at our center if we invite Him to be. When we do, we are revealed to ourselves and able to express creatively outwardly.

Who we are can only be revealed if we center in the right Center. Once in that place, the rest flows naturally. Christ in me, so my real self in me, able to create freely.

Just as all healing begins by admitting our need for help from something higher. So once, He is at our center—that initial surrender; our true names can start to be spoken and expressed. His Spirit speaks with our yielded spirit, and this conversation starts to rule over the rest of us–our soul and body. Spirit to spirit to soul and so on…

Then, we move outwards to express this inner ongoing conversation–that becomes the art of our lives.

ART TALK:

I’m doing a series of small articles on: Art, Identity and spirituality. My favorite three topics. How are they related? How they are One or integrated in God, and should be integrated in us!

 Our ability to creatively communicate or express is part of being human. And is meant to be attached to our core identity, which must be centered in something other than itself to function well. Preferably something or Someone Higher. This is why healing begins by admitting we need a higher power, or something bigger than ourselves as our ground of being.

 Core identity is governed by spirit under the influence of whatever you have placed at the center of your life-ie is centered on whatever is our Ultimate. Create expression will flow from that well. So whatever we place at the center of our lives will determine expression. This is one of my core ideas.

What we read, when we look at art:

Art is a symbolic expression of what is at your center (individually and collectively). Art shows us what people have at their core. Art reflects what is lodged at our core. Statues of ourselves, statues of dieties, statues of ideals art about art etc. We express what is at our core, and what is flowing out of it. What we symbolize from and therefore about, is whatever we place at the center of our lives. What is placed at the center of highest value in our lives- that is ultimately what art ends up flowing from. Our expression flows from our core. It can do so directly, or abstractly. It can do so through any medium.

 So, one way to study cultural history, or what makes a person tick, is to look at their art, to see what its core is like, or is made of. I studied comparative religious art in school—specifically art flowing from mystical traditions. It becomes clear, that people and cultures express individually and collectively from whatever is at their center. Their primary concern in life. Their ultimate.

Art reflects what’s at the true center of your life. What you have placed at the core of your being, determines and informs outer expression. So what is there is readable as expression.

 If you have the Torah at your center, then the Torah will flow out from there, as one Rabbi put it. Whatever you place at your core, will be expressed through your creativity—directly or indirectly. I like this thought. It helps in reading other cultures. Sort of symbolic mapping. And it’s a cool way to study art history.

There are times in religious history, where the symbol itself was controlled, or even cut off, detached from the core identity. But in a healthy situation, what you see expressed is flowing from what is there at the core of that person or culture.

 This is another reason art is valuable, it allows you to read beneath the surface into what is really there.

Of course creative expression also flows back in strengthening or decaying the core. You see this with the use of propaganda, or much advertising, or porn, which corrupts the core identity. But it’s meant to work the other way around. Center outwards towards symbolic expression.

Our Center, our inner Identity, the seat of self, is really where healing and governing of self take place. But we can access it through creativity. Which is one of the reasons art can be healing. It allows us to get at the core of self, and see what needs to be cleared and rooted there.

 Even in cities, the symbols we see flow from inner collective identity. Sometimes they are detached or ushering from wounds, but they are meant to be flowing from core identity, and whatever is lodged there. We create from who we are. It expresses us. Identity precedes art, but art is an extension of it. Healing begins in the center, and is determined by what is placed there by the will. Even the way people dress reveals their inner life.

 As I’ve said before, how a city dresses reveals her current state of Identity health. How healthy is yours. Can you read where she’s at, based on her symbols? What about in your own life. How well do your symbols reflect your inner life and what you have placed at the true core of your life.

 What is at your center, or who or what is there, and how is it expressing itself outwardly for others to read! In what ways do your creativity and identity need to be properly connected in collaboration? Is your spirituality informing both? If you have placed some form of spirituality at your center, how is it expressing itself? What symbols does your spirituality create through you? If your spirituality is Jesus, is He centered in you, and freely expressing Himself through your creativity? Does He make overtly religious art, or something more indirect? Since He works through our authentic identities, and actually teaches us who we are, and tells us who we are, do you feel free to just express from your true self, or do you feel like you have to overtly make it about Him? Just some questions towards integration.

Art is a way of expressing from core identity. Our identity is meant to be based in Christ, who is the Center of all things. If it is, our creativity flows authentically and uninterruptedly from that clear Center.

 Our art self, needs to be connected to our True Identity, then both our spiritual perception and expression will be integrated. We see as we are, we express from who we really are. We find out who we really are, by Centering in the right Center.

 Some basics:

 Spirituality: what do you ground yourself in? What is your upper story or Ultimate ground of being for yourself? What’s your higher?

Identity: who are you, and how do you find that out?

Creativity: how do you express authentically from who you are?

How do these three areas integrate into one fluid express of the poem you are?

We are as humans all three–we are spiritual, we have identity, and we are creative. So the three have to come into a tandem and mutually blessing relationship.

What are some ways we can practice that integrational process? My next article is on this topic.

There are different types of leaders in scriptures. I’ve been looking at these unique two people, Jeremiah and St Paul, as examples for the type of leadership we need now.

 Jeremiah the authentic personally vulnerable priest prophet. The autobiographical one. The intimate with God’s Heart one. The emotional one. The transparent one. One who interprets by how they live. The outer court-near the people, and their concerns-one. The social prophet. Jeremiah is the type of prophetic leader we need today. The transparent prophet. The poetic prophet. The persecuted and still favored prophet. The prophet aware and sensitive to the nations, and their purposes in God’s plans.

 I think Jeremiah in the OT and St Paul in the New were the most transparent with their personal stories (they had anointed autobiographies!), and had two of the hardest spiritual assignments in scriptures. Their lives both became models as well. Part of their message was their actual life. They lived symbolically in this way!

 They were both very transparent about their inner lives as well. Both lived in moments of displacement, and migration, cultural shiftings, and had to become compasses for their times. Both were intimate with The Father. They had a father spirituality.

 Both, also displayed the feminine and the masculine in their actions. They could move from God’s father and mother hearts! The ability to both father and mother things is essential now. Unique men of God.

 Authentic prophetic people and teachers are what is most needed now, to communicate God’s Heart in expressive and unique ways. It’s one of those times again! Their type of spirituality is needed again especially in leadership.

 Fathery transparent, story telling, poet teachers aware of cultural shifts from a spiritual perspective–ie revealed knowledge, not just book knowledge. Revealed  and lived out theology goes farther historically. Encountered in direct relationship with God, knowing, lasts.

We need the subtle interpreters-poet teachers. The gifts of poetic language and story telling speak and directly enter into the hearts of many types of people. The medium, in this sense, becomes part of The Message.

  Those with this gift of contextualizing what we all see daily, and expressing it in a way which translates, imparts hope, and offers understanding. And we need honest interpreters willing to be transparent about their own brokenness-the blues in their own songs.

 Those who can culturally contextualize the times, be an expression of His Message into it,  and live out their message. Be the teaching. And be becoming it, out loud or publically! Living life out loud, so others can hear and see it! And judge for themselves, the veracity.

  If I had to pick types of leadership needed now, i might add St John to this list-the pastor, theologian and seer poet! Poetic story telling leaders are needed to express the complexity and nuances of what God wants to speak into our times. We need priestly artistic leaders like Jeremiah, or Daniel, the prophetic ruler, and another practical mystic, willing to be raw about it all, and tell the true story well.

 So, authentic, willing to be autobiographical (i.e., vulnerable), transparent and very intimate with The Father is what I would be looking for from leaders today. That’s what I’m learning from these guys, today anyway.

Leaders who are very transparent with their own struggles and stories, tell their own stories well, are emotionally open, and good expressers of the essence of things. And priestly leaders who can also see prophetically and are in touch with the outer courts of the temple-where social exchange occurs.

All three were also practical mystics, being given revelations, visions, dreams, and visitations, but downloading it through the heart of God into practical messages, people could understand. Paul even received a “revelation of the mystery of the gospel to the Gentiles”, for which we all are thankful. In short, they interacted directly with God, in a way which brought needed communication to the society around them. And they did so in a transparent with their own stories type of way.

Walk in Peace.

Just  being a person of Peace is often the best thing we can offer others. Lots of anxiety out there these days in airports, cross roads, markets, and daily life. Just staying in Peace really does help others re-center and feel dignity again. And is often what is needed most.

 I’m trying to practice being in Peace daily. Seems like a needed remedy or medicine in these shaky, even turbulent, days we all live in.

 Peace can be offered through our eyes, or our energy (practically speaking), but of course, begins in our spirits, our hearts. We are acting from that place, looking from that place and moving physically from that space. That blesses. I try to do both-look at people and move in the energy of Peace- when out in life. It helps people, and it allows me to make choices in pressured situations. Had a few this week. Easy to get reactive—to either “assault or withdraw” as Dallas Willard puts it.

  Peace is not always relaxed or laid back, it is also active! Just as God is always concerned, but never stressed, so is Peace.

 The ministry of Peace is underrated, often not well defined, and not as easy as it looks. Staying in Peace is both a gift and a discipline. Receptive and active. Feminine and masculine. It’s also a daily choice to stay in it. Peace on you today friends. Real Peace within.  “In the world, you will have troubles, but I give you My Own Peace.”

Peace be with you!

The God who is Social made us also to grow in a social circle. Just as we are born into a family circle, so we grow spiritually in a spiritual family.

Jesus is not a just private experience. He also is communal and occurs, and forms Himself in us, in relationship with others. We need both for balance and growth. He designed it that way. Just as He gave marriage to learn certain levels of intimacy, so He gave us the church (His People living in His Spirit) for our deeper formation into His Life. As we give to them (even if they seem like the poor to serve), He gives to us in mutual formation.

 To know God alone, and to know God through community are both parts of healthy spirituality. If our mysticism places Jesus just with us, and others way over there, we can’t move in His fullest incarnation made available to us by the life of Jesus. We need both personal faith and real friendship with Christ, and communal faith. The personal and the collective are both required to keep us maturing spiritually.

Part of this is for our fuller formation. We are social, because God is social, so we grow in relationship. That’s part of how God set things up. God, even in His Trinity, is social. And we are social, being made in His Image. We may not trust others, but they are given to us to know God through. So we must receive the methods God has given us—His Church being one of the highest. The church is a community of those centered around Christ and in His Spirit. We have to find those we are meant to be growing with in our lives. Each season, we have to find the church again.

 This is why we still need the church regardless of the imperfect expressions of it around us. Through this imperfect expression, we touch the Perfect Jesus and His Body. It was His idea for us, so we must trust that and be properly linked to those in Him He is giving us each season.

I know many have been wounded socially, but for our social dimension to grow, we must trust God to draw us into fellowship with Him through those He gives us.

 God is social. We are social, and are given a spiritual circle seasonally to grow in. The church is a very diverse community, unlike many of the communities we join–say our work community, or sewing, or frisbee. We form communities around many things, but Paul is teaching us about a type of community made by God, which is given for our spiritual maturity. The church is not just given for belonging, it is given to grow us up into The Head. We need what one another carry spiritually. There is no way to become mature in absolute isolation. This is because God set it up for us to grow in a spiritual family. Yes, we belong there, but often we are not with people at all like us. That is part of the difficulty of being part of the church. And teaches us of the labors of His marriage with her.

 Still, we cannot grow fully apart from her. Often my friends ask, what is your relationship with the church. Well He loves her, I need her, and I work to make her more whole, as I am becoming more mature. I don’t have the right to just walk away from her. It’s like not taking your spiritual vitamins, or not drinking water. Just can’t do it. God provided her for our growth, so I say yes to His Plan, even though I know her many imperfections. I am married to her. And I am becoming mature through her, even in her current state.

 We don’t “do” church because its fun, entertaining, or not socially awkward. It usually is awkward, and often is not the type of people we would choose to hang out with organically. As an artist myself, I was often the only one in the house. We choose church because it was given by God to grow us into His Son’s likeness, and that is our goal if we truly are christian.

I’m glad church is taking new shapes in our day. But regardless of her shape, she is essential if we really want to follow Jesus. It is a social organism given by God to be our spiritual home which here. We must grow in the imperfect but God given community of other Christ centered people, if we want to grow up in Christ. Healing or being made whole is only possible when linked with other believers who are centered in The Healer. That’s how God set it up. Let’s comply.