My books and the birds: today’s homily.

Back in my monastic study in Belgium rehearsing my homily teaching to the sea gulls (zeemeeuwen) and church bells.

 I’m teaching this week from Acts 13:1-4, about how the elders in Antioch needed to be praying, fasting and “ministering to The Lord” (to be priestly before prophetic or kingly), before they knew who or when to send people or projects, on various spiritual missions. Heavy topic, but the birds took it lightly this morning.

That Jesus only did what He SAW the Father doing. In scriptures seeing is part of knowing. To see precedes to send or to do. That like Him, apart from God we can do nothing.

 The basic spirituality of these elders was prayer, study, teaching, seeing what Father was doing, then sending people on spiritual missions.

 It’s sort of about how the priestly precedes the prophetic and kingly dimensions of God. Seeing spiritually to know what to do. As when Elisha opened the eyes of one of his students, so he could see the bigger picture! But that sounded too heavy. So,  leaders should do their priestly intimate work before assisting others. Like on an airplane, you need the oxygen first, then administer it to others.

 But this passage comes with a warning as well. The birds seemed to stop in mid air when i said this.

 The elders must be ministering to the Lord, before they can even see who or when to send the younger ones. For The Spirit is the one who sends! We empower (lay on hands) and send only after we see. So many are pre-sent, so that people can’t even see what a christian looks like. They seemed to agree! So I’ll amplify that point when the time comes. I’m talking about the matured version of apostolic sending, i said, as I stood up. These guys knew how to send, for they themselves had been sent! (John 17)

 I went on (as i still had jet lag), apart from Him, we an do nothing. So, if a person isn’t formed yet, they won’t bear lasting fruit, and they mis-represent the image of Christ. Even Jesus, only did what He saw The Father doing.

There is also the issue of timing. Jesus was sent at the right time, and He sent at the right time. I love timing!

 Just because you have the anointing to send, doesn’t mean you should. Saul never lost his anointing, but misused it often! At one point assuming the role of priest. That got him in trouble.

 I told the birds, you remember what Ghandi said: “I would become a christian, if I ever saw one.” Be careful who and how you send, I continued, discipleship and formation precede  calling or being sent to fly or minister. If you’ve never seen a spiritually mature person, why would you want to become one. They seemed to laugh at that, or were they just squawking?

 It’s a deep word, but I heard the seagulls responding to it. Or perhaps they were just hungry. Regardless the word is out. Jeremiah talked to mountains. I prefer birds! They travel farther! Regardless, good to be back in my study in Antwerp this week with my books and the birds, thinking about the wisdom of sending. I’ll let you know as this sermon develops into a real word!

Sorry for the length, but it was Sunday when i offered this sermon, and I often get homiletic on Sundays; after all, my father is a baptist minister and my mother an operatic singer artist. The gulls seemed to like it; unfortunately, i can’t take up an offering from them! Afterwards, I sent the birds on their way, after praying of course, and seeing that it was time for them to go find today’s fish!

…from a conversation after a friend passed away: how we die, is a symbol.

“If you understand how to die, the living comes. Making your relationship with death clear, as an act of service to others. Serve and be thankful through it. Manifest, the way and life of Jesus in it, as you did in life-That’s the point. How we die, tells people how we lived. People need to see that inner trust in God to carry you over. Most of us never expected death, so don’t really know how to walk through it in service and trust. I’ve watched people do it well, and it blesses in every direction.

  Also i think there is something about the cloud of witnesses involved. I don’t mind resting, but i really want to be with those guys directly. They feel like my buddies. Really. I’ve been going up in that elder circle for a while (sometimes God has me visualize a stairwell, other times an elevator or a balloon; though the balloon symbol is usually about perspective and pacing on earth—going up there periodically to ask questions. I can’t remember when that started, sort of open visions, and visitations to my elder’s circle, but it’s frequent.

 If I have a pastoral question, i’ll ask Nouwen, if a deep spirit soul question or how the metaphysics of it works, I’ll ask Thomas Merton etc. There is also a native american in my circle. Also there is active learning going on there. So it’s not that we stop growing, when we die. Not sure how aging works in heaven.

Fast forward to the moment before you die; would you not just slip right over, just more constantly. I mean it’s the same God on “both” sides. And your relationship doesn’t change, so why not just slip right over into Him, as you slip out of your physical body. Still, i don’t like the idea of resting or laying around in some in between. I want to be in the action—right in the action!

Especially if that action is restoring the earth and being in Jerusalem, and setting the nations in order, so we can see what its all meant to look like. Then later in the new heavens and earth, i’m also interested in collaborating. But just keep me near Him and in the action.

Since we live in plain view of such a cloud of witnesses, live accordingly!”

grief of a brother-

in the house of dead brothers…

we all knew each other the way you do

we gave in, and covered when we had to, and what we had to do we did;

and then one, lacking the full picture, went down-that day,

the whole earth shook and cried. We were suddenly brothers, and

like the animals running away from the Cross that day, in that type of fear,

and realizing, we knew

it was really over until we saw it

 our older brother rose from the dead

and called us all home. As brothers.

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listening to my off line self:

my off line self wasn’t happy with my on line self today

it felt neglected, so i let it represent itself in silence

with only the angels as audience. i think it felt relieved

as it kept speaking in poetry and prayer.

after all, it said, if we don’t tend the well

how will we have a thing to say-what real water

will we have to share when someone is truly thirsty.

i adhered to that and quoted david to myself-

be still my soul, and know.

my private self keeps leading and informing my public self.

i think i’ll keep it like that.

Another monk, on hearing God’s Voice: hear only Love’s Tone!

The kindest voice you hear, that is God’s. Listen for the tone of Love. Shut your ears to the roaring of other voices, and stop and listen only to that one whispering your true name in Love. That’s the conversation you want to be in.

The Father’s love for His Son, is the place to find His Voice—get caught up in that conversation. You are included in The Father’s Heart towards His Son. We, too are the beloved. And the tone they have with one another, is our home! Find that space, and live there.

When you have to change your theology because everybody went away, and you thought the rapture happened. Been there.

Reading again this week some articles and books on grief; strangely they’re not sad! Seeing grief as a gift is helpful. Receiving it, as potentially transforming! Grief as opportunity, as a unique tabernacle or place of meeting, interest me. The older you get, the more that grief becomes part of your spirituality. Here’s one little quote

On the gift of grief:

“Grief can become a useful blindness, leading to greater trust. Eventually, we will see, but while we don’t is the space to develop true faith. It’s easy to trust when you see. It’s harder when blind. Grief brings with it, blindness. Blindness has the potential to birth a deeper trust.”

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Another monk, on hearing God’s Voice:

The kindest voice you hear, that is God’s. Listen for the tone of Love. Shut your ears to the roaring of other voices, and stop and listen only to that one whispering your true name in Love. That’s the conversation you want to be in.

The Father’s love for His Son, is the place to find His Voice—get caught up in that conversation. You are included in The Father’s Heart towards His Son. We, too are the beloved.

Today’s prayer…to be or not to be, is still the quest-ion!

You are faithful to form the life of Your Son in me! You are faithful. You are faithful. You are faithful to express the things You desire through me, and with me. You are faithful. You are faithful.

The whole of Reality rest on His Faithfulness. If He weren’t, the universe would collide. He is both good and faithful. That’s the center of Reality. God is good and faithful.

Now He is also faithful to instill the life of His Son in us who believe. It is not that we are able to practice ourself into wholeness. It is that He is able. The One who started a good work in me will complete it! Jesus is doing your identity work inside of you. Transforming and renewing you into His Image, and His image of you!

How does God see us. Through Jesus eyes. How does Jesus see us? As we are.

As we truly are. He sees the real self, the real you. So we trust Him to form that, even when we are partially blinded—or, as Paul wrote-cannot even judge ourselves.

He interprets us, even to us.

Jesus who created our identity, is also in collaboration with us, forming it. How wonderfully creative is that—dynamic. He who made us is re-forming us. And giving us our names over time. The identity process is entirely based in who Jesus is, and what He is doing in us.

We collaborate in forming our identity as we lean into His Identity. Peter was told who he was, as He saw who Jesus was. That’s the principle of identity formation. We get to know who Jesus is, and are told and shown who we are-over time, and through life experiences.

And the entire path of your identity is held in Christ. It cannot be stolen in Him. You are safe to become and get to know yourself in Him. He holds our stories in His Heart. Our job is to lean into and live within His Heart. Then we cannot get identity wrong, or mess it up. For our identities are eternal, and are an eternal mystery in Him, about Himself.  Our new creation selves, are a forever space within Christ! There is a peaceful resting in knowing that Jesus contains my true identity, already now, and forever.

We rest in the fact that He who made us, knows us, has searched and seen us, and we cannot really hide, as Adam and Eve tried. There is no need to hide from One so faithful and kind, who actually wants us to become who we are, and is able to reveal us to ourselves—to whisper our true names to us. The One who contains our names also reveals them to us. And, it turns out, He loves us! So we are safe to become.

 If you want to know who you really are, come to Jesus and seek out who He really is. He holds the secret of your true identity. He knows your white stone name. And He will lovingly reveal you to yourself. We can have the courage to be, because of Him. To not be, is to act as if God cannot see us. He does. Let’s choose to be!

 Then we begin to know face to Face! This process has already begun, our faces come clear, as we stare at His dear Face!

The Tone of Love-listen for that tone…

Imagine or listen to the kindest voice you can hear right now. That’s God’s voice. Whispering beloved intimate beautiful things to you in the tone of Love. Find the tone of love in your heart—that’s His Voice.

The easiest way to hear God, is to listen for the tone of Love. He’s always there.

911:

A friend asked today, where people were on 911. I’d been thinking about that day all day yesterday, of course.

 I won’t go into the whole story of that day for me-it’s a long one, even for me. But the short version is it was one of the toughest things I’ve born witness to, to say the least. I don’t know why, He wanted me particularly to see it, as I’m sort of a soft hearted poetic type, and easily affected by trauma. Yet, I had great Peace in the moment (tangible Peace in my body, and could share it with others just by looking into their eyes), but was shaking (literally) for weeks afterwards. I flew in that morning, and was on the bridge, when the first building fell. More than horrific really. More apocalyptic. A great shaking among the nations. Where was I?

  On George Washington’s bridge NYC. God (i had a dream) flew me in from London to be there and bear witness, though i didn’t know beforehand what it was i was supposed to go see-only that i had to go to NYC.

 Hard day, truckers crying, jets overhead. Trying to stay in His Peace and share it with others. Lots of confusion around, little interpretation. Felt God lift His thumb for a second. Also felt Father’s grief for all sides. Not just mercy but actual care. Also the clouds of smoke were shaped like a dragon-no joke!

 The painful poem of that day, is written on my bones, tattooed on my heart. Then, the bodies and styrofoam cups. All of humanity equal in guilt, and equalized by suffering-our collective hatred running wild, fully manifest.

I think the church was slow to play priest–interpret, and pray. Some did. Yet, God still used it, and is still using it. But it was a serious shaking and warning, not just for America. Not sure we responded well either-some did. And I sort of felt like He didn’t want to to be that way. There would’ve been something more gentle, if our hearts were open.

 We were contained on the bridge for a long time, and evacuated, war jets overhead, as they were afraid of bombs on bridges–especially the first president’s! Seemed, even in the moment, they were hitting all the major symbols (world trade, government, symbols of America, and symbols of nationhood) The whole story was so symbolic. A tragic teaching. Tell you the whole tale another time…Glad to still be here with Him on earth, sorry for those who are not! I still miss them.

 This day, still always gives me pause, and is a real challenge to pray in earnest for all nations! And to be people of true Peace-to work at it, and stay in it, to practice Peace, as the good book says. Until His Peace truly and fully comes, and lamb and lion hang out together, and the nations are set in order. A real challenge to be working towards “that Day”, and ushering it in daily. Good reminder today.