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Rooftop faith

18 Wednesday Jan 2017

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 The man photographing the cathedral at dawn from a rooftop with his dogs!
 Couldn’t sleep from jet lag, so was awake at dawn today. Saw a man on a roof, across the way, intently and intensely taking photos of a cathedral across the street. Then I noticed his dogs were with him on the flat roof. My kind of morning activity, so…
 To the man taking photos with his dogs on a rooftop today—thanks for being who you are today, for observing when no one else was, from a high place, and for getting up before dawn in the in between just to capture today’s particular approaching glory.
 You’re my this morning’s hero. And me and my angels saw you! I even tried to take a photo of you taking a photo, as I often do in my dreams. Thanks sir.
  We live by example, even when we think we are unobserved while observing, or should I say, appreciating the particular glories of daily life, and hoping them into place with our expectancy and love’s vigilant gaze. If none of the photos turn out, I’ll make a painting of it to remember you, and that type of rooftop faith each day requires.

At airports

18 Wednesday Jan 2017

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What I often do at airports:
 At airports, I often like to go sit at several gates to see what type of people are going to particular places.
 I do this almost every time I have extra time at airports. I go and sit with the Greeks going to Athens—always lively and interactive, sitting very close and all talking at once; i go find those going to Brazil, so colorful and talkative, almost a party at the airport.
 Yesterday, i went to the Tel Aviv gate, and i just felt like myself. Everyone addressed me, talked to me about the weather there, and assumed I belonged there. I even stood in line to get on at the end, lost in conversation with this older lady about everything from God to the price of pomegranetes. I almost got on that plane, until I realized I was supposed to be going to Brussels.
 It’s still one of my favorite activities, to act like you are going to that place, and think about what type of person would go there. To sit in and with the different tones of cultures! Each culture waits differently. I like observing how each culture does in between, says a lot about who they are.

Excerpts on counseling

12 Thursday Jan 2017

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Deep thoughts by Derek! Take what blesses you…leave the rest.
Why listen well now? Excerpts from an interview I was doing this week on what I’ve learned from counseling people during these recent days: (just raw notes, if they bore you, read something else, or take which parts touch your hearts!)
 Been counseling lots in the wake and transition of these elections, refugee crisis, and many other global shakings we are all in the midst of, as a human family, and wrote down some observations so far…they are long, and might be boring to some, but still felt like sharing some insights I’ve had so far during all this global tumult going on. Really a crisis in interpretation, among other things. And I’d like to put forth that we interpret well, by listening well-that is, in Love. Felt like just putting some raw notes and observations out there as we go, to keep the real conversation going, as so much of what we see seems inchoate or hard to interpret these days. Loving listening, still matters to me, and seems to bear the best long term fruit. So here are some thoughts, i’ve been having.
The value of interviews now as a model of civil and loving conversations with one another!
 I love interviews as a format. I met the american Bill Moyers, a writer and interviewer, and his wife in Paris once-if you don’t know his work, he made most of the psychologist and religious thinkers of the previous generation known to the public, back in the day. When I met him, he listened really well to me. Listening well contains healing, and is a developable and needed gift now!
 On the same trip, i talked a man off a bridge, which may have been more important. He came off the bridge, after he felt someone concerned with his specific sufferings. He felt heard. That stuck with me—how listening well, can save lives.
  I also have always liked the interviewer Charlie Rose (an american interviewer)—there are some of his interviews which reveal the identities of those he is interviewing. But more importantly, he makes a safe space for people to share, even when he clearly doesn’t agree with them. I still appreciate that gift of empathy-“listening with and into another”, allowing a safe room for another to show up. People need that. All of us do regardless of our levels of impact.
 Reading a book now with the great german film maker and thinker Wim Wenders called “Inventing Peace”. Over half of it is in interview format. Still really learn the most from overhearing people just talking, and being themselves. The unformed or instantaneous thesis or hypothesis, we are still forming, and becoming…I think interviews and biographies are my favorite formats of learning and knowing. Intimate interviews reveal the soul. People gifted with good listening. I value good listeners. It helps us all become who we are. Let’s listen well to one another.
It’s a good time for good listeners. To become better ministers of reconciliation between races, genders, generations, and “classes” of people (although i believe we all are granted class as humans not based on outer wealth or appearance).
I’ve been thinking lots also lately of you have to contextualize your own suffering in global suffering to have any type or decent way of interpreting things. I would say if you just contextualize women or racial rights, for instance, just within the confines of your own country or nation’s history, you miss the big human story picture. What in us, wants to value others in terms of gender or ethicity etc. These seem like basic needed ways now; you have to at least take things back to the garden and the nature of human depravity, and the particular patterns of sin we inherited, as a starting point to look at human rights, for instance. The nature and ways of rebellion are in the human heart, and fortunately are able to be weeded out, if we start with ourselves.
I also think people will increasingly look to artist and cultural interpreters, interviewers, and comedians to interpret things in this season. We’ve seen this during the whole election process, in this particular country, when much of the media fell apart, or has moved in confusion and defense, but the comedians and actors, have offered some of the most honest talk about what is happening.
We saw it even a few nights ago with Meryl Streep, though i know what she said is controversial, and I won’t go into politics here—people took note, and I think are looking to artist and cultural interpreters, to speak the truth. This platform for honest discourse, will increase. As could the church’s and faith community’s voices, if it spoke well-in unison- and from the heart, and modeled a spirit of ecumenism, and kindness, now. Not just towards the “stranger” but towards one another. Having a unified spirit and voice, and real heart of love, and tone of love. And the heart’s ear, which it has access to, but needs to use now.
 I also think it is very important to re-contextualize conversations in authentic relationship! Real relational conversations generate authentic frames of interpretation. We come up with new ways of naming the issues, when we are being real with one another. This happens interpersonally, as well as between groups. There are so many fabricated categories of conversation, we have to create new ways of naming humanities heart issues now.
 This is huge, so that we don’t find ourselves moving in prefabricated frames of discourse, as one thinker put it. We actually need to be encountering the persons we are with, and have and create together, a unique language system to converse in; one which comes out of loving encounter with other. I thou—not I-it, in Martin Buber’s language.  This lets us collaborate together in naming, and this is a creative process which brings healing and transformation to both parties involved. When we really have encounters with one another’s deeper hearts, we are both changed! So this type of depth dialogue in Love is essential now!
  For example, just last night talking with my african friend. He said you are white man, I am black. I was thrown in jails lots of times not for being black, but for being human. We started there, and things went deeper. He did not see himself as a black man, or a minority (he had been delivered from that small category). He saw himself as a human, who like all of us, has struggles weaknesses, sin nature etc, and has tried to learn to love his brother.
 By the end of our talk, both of us had a deeper understanding of one another’s struggles. And neither of us, saw the other as a category of human, but rather as a real person. We were able to honor one another’s stories and personhood. That’s a huge success these days! We had to share lots of our story. I told him about being perceived as Jewish, about having an african half brother, about having Cherokee blood etc; he told me many things about his parent’s mixed racial marriage, and how he was perceived growing up.
 That’s the type of conversations we need to be having now. We need to be heart listening well to one another daily now. It overcomes more than racism, more than women and gay rights and all the other poorly framed issues of our day—which are often human identity issues in the end-it let’s us be family together as people.
 You rarely see this in the media, but it most often happens in interviews. To have non-projective relationships with people is to see them beyond my own categories of perception which i put on them; i have to actually listen and encounter them in His Love. This is most basic, especially when dealing with those you highly disagree with. Basic conflict management is needed in our times. And you can see this modeled with the best interviewers.
Along with this, we are taught in scriptures, that God’s spirit is where the greatest suffering is. So we move towards that place with others, to meet the One who is intimate with their and our sufferings. Not away from it. I think often we assume our own suffering is the greatest. Not so, according to the book.
Anyway, here are some things I’ve learned from my favorite interviewers: simple but i hope helpful…
 Find common ground. Don’t live in or appeal to the other’s or your own fear as a foundation for the conversation (the worst of daily tv), live proactively in love. Try to model what you believe in practical daily ways. Kindness is an action this season, and starts in the heart, and can be seen in your eyes. Try to listen well—that is in the tone of love. Have authentic ways of addressing and framing the issues which concern you. This allows for real dialogue about the underlying issues. Love especially those you firmly disagree with. And try to find that one area where you do agree as humans and amplify it as you talk. Go very basic with people’s concerns, discerning not just their thought or emotion, but their heart. What really concerns them about this issue. Start there.
 Sometimes you have to agree to disagree on topics, but you can still treat one another with real dignity and respect, regardless of gender, race or economic status. These are some basics, I’m practicing and trying remember in seasons of trauma, crisis and change. How to treat the human family stuff! Great potential now for mutual refinement through caring dialogue with one another. Let’s do at least that, for one another.
 Last night, that long talk with my african american friend, who had so much forgiveness in his heart, challenged me to be a better person. That’s what good listening can bring to us. And that is how it heals and blesses both people. Love your neighbor, partially means listening well in our times. I’m trying to. Hope you do too, this season friends. Let’s listen our ways into Love this season, and mutual positive change.

Spiritual Contentment

29 Thursday Dec 2016

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Learning to be more spiritually content in life!
 Been thinking about spiritual contentment lately, or just being content in general in life; it’s a real gift in times of trouble to experience someone who is content.
 I was thinking today of one of the things I like about my dad, is that he has throughout his life known how to be abased and abound (as Paul puts it), and be the same person. He stayed the same whether having little or much, regardless of circumstance he’s just lived a life of service throughout.  He has stayed on course, regardless of having very little, and having very much; he served a few, and later he served many-but his core spirituality was the same.
 In Philippians, Paul teaches about the secret of spiritual contentment. All religions teach some version of spiritual contentment; Paul’s is basically: in all things, all I do, regardless of my outer circumstance, Christ’s strength is in me; not I, but Christ; apart from Him, we do no lasting good etc…it is basically to stay in and with Him in all situations. Great study! In this letter, he also teaches what to meditate on, so that this communion is more constant.
 Still, it’s nice to see this lived out in people’s lives, then it becomes a sign that it’s possible. I appreciate having seen spiritual contentment in my dad’s life, and have slowly learned to emulate that way.
 Like St Paul he knows the secret of spiritual contentment is not circumstance or what you have or have not; whether in jail or a palace; but Who you are with Spiritually inside, who or what you are really centered in, and how constantly you stay in that relationship or fellowship.
 Spiritual contentment is one of the hallmarks of dad’s life, and I respect, and have tried to practice that. Then all things can indeed work for good, if we are positioned in that inner peace of spiritual contentment. I’m not talking about spiritual perfection, but rather being content. It’s distinct.
 Growing up we lived inner city, our family and my dad served at a smaller church. We visited hospitals, served the poor, did funerals etc like normal ministry families; but later when dad became more famous for his books, you wouldn’t have known it. He was the same man. That to me is a sign of spiritual contentment.
 Being able to be content whether you are abounding or abased. In poverty and fame, the same. Some of us are more comfortable meeting God in one or the other—being abased or abounding. Or we need one of the two to feel good about ourselves. But not Paul.
  Another thing I’ve noticed, is when you meet people who move in spiritual contentment you just know it. There is tangible peace about them. No anxiety. As one monk put it, “God is always concerned, but never stressed.” There is an inner knowing to those who live in constant communion within. You sense it. Sometimes it helps to see others who move in it, in order to be drawn to learn to live it. Glad my dad does. Helps to have living examples spiritual contentment.
Perhaps one thing we can give others in times of global shaking is to practice spiritual contentment regardless of our circumstances. Just a thought this week. I’m trying.
The great minister Spurgeon wrote this:
“Paul also knew how to abound in weakness and strength.
  There are a great many men that know a little how to be abased, that do not know at all how to abound. When they are put down into the pit with Joseph, they look up and see the starry promise, and they hope for an escape. But when they are put on the top of a pinnacle, their heads grow dizzy, and they are ready to fall.” (Spurgeon)

Last version on Whitman

27 Tuesday Dec 2016

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Still hard to beat the American poet Walt Whitman, for language and scope of vision for the whole nation! In times of great change, we still need poets to help guide us home to our true identity and forward toward it’s next chapters. Hoping for more Whitman’s to arise in our times. You don’t have to agree with everything someone says, to recognize their gift and impact on the whole. Whitman had that quintessential American soaring and hopeful vision, which America needed then. And does again now. And her compassion for the oppressed and weak. Her willingness to care again. And in his time, she was barely a nation, and still forming the foundations of her identity. Interesting moment in her story to return to now. A time when America still had and offered out hope.
 This year, i decided to give my wife Walt Whitman’s hope for America and beyond….a rare copy of the prequel to “Leaves of Grass”. This one is called, “Drum Taps”, and is mostly about his time with civil war veterans, and trying to bring meaning to their suffering. Whitman is still probably my favorite American poet, back when being a poet meant something to a nation. Back when poets really were the interpreters of nations—before the mass media kicked in. His ability to name and encourage the best of the whole nation’s gift was rare, and maybe hasn’t been repeated in America since. Look to your poets and artist in times of great change, as my mentor told me. Looking back at this fellow who was writing near the birth of this particular nation.
 When I lived on the east coast of America, mostly in my car, at times beneath bridges (believe me, i have proof!), i used to always stop and sleep at the Walt Whitman rest area in New Jersey (service area, for my european friends). It was named after him, but also had the entire of leaves of grass written on the walls. I loved that America had a poet, before the beats and before it was just protest, and reaction—when it was still trying to name itself well, and offer hope to other nations.
  It’s not easy celebrating a nation you are not in love with. For Love proceeds poetry about. You cannot write well about something you don’t love. Another way of saying that, you can only prophecy into something, to the degree you love it.
   He was a poet sort of celebrating her identity, the truer identity of his nation at his time, in the strange new old world.
  I especially have always liked his civil war hospital poems that he wrote after visiting so many wounded soldiers. Growing up a minister’s son, I did hospitals and funerals weekly, so I related to Whitman’s care about the suffering people in his times.
I’ve always had a copy of “leaves of grass” nearby, but this year, decided in the wake of our many current crisis globally, to get a more special copy specifically of his hospital poems, which he wrote for the dying and suffering.
 These were mostly written while he was sitting with war veterans of that era’s war in the hospital. They still are moving, and as he really did have an american style of writing- big, bold, risky, compassionately long sentences—a muscular prose. I still like re-visiting his writings. He didn’t have the full picture spiritually, but certainly had the gift to express his times well! I still like his hopeful version of america, or at least his hope for her.
 I met Allen Ginsberg, Phillip Levine, and Galway Kinnel, some of my favorites American poets, but Whitman’s generation had a different calling of how to name and challenge her, more of a celebratory and less a protest calling, more a naming and seeing the identity and less a complaint about it—good to go back and recall when people where celebrating your identity.
  Whitman still had a sort of old world hope, yet I would say, not romantic, and his time was before the old world lost her heart as well. Before spiritual amnesia kicked in. That is, before our parents forgot themselves. But, in the end also, his is, just great art. He had a true poets gift of words. Expressing identity of a nation, and his own in dialogue!
 Here are few strangely contemporary sounding, excerpts again from Whitman, if you’ve never read him, an interesting study in what America could be:
Trippers and askers surround me,
People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward
and city I live in, or the nation,
The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and
new,
My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,
The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,
The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or
lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,
Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news,
the fitful events;
These come to me days and nights and go from me again,
But they are not the Me myself.
Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain
rest,
Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,
Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.
Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with
linguists and contenders,
I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait.
//
Loafe with me on the grass, loose the stop from your throat,
Not words, not music or rhyme I want, not custom or lecture, not
even the best,
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valvèd voice.
I mind how once we lay such a transparent summer morning,
How you settled your head athwart my hips and gently turn’d over
upon me,
And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your
tongue to my bare-stript heart,
And reach’d till you felt my beard, and reach’d till you held my
feet.
Swiftly arose and spread around me the peace and knowledge that
pass all the argument of the earth,
And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own,
And I know that the spirit of God is the brother of my own,
And that all the men ever born are also my brothers, and the
women my sisters and lovers,
And that a kelson of the creation is love,
And limitless are leaves stiff or drooping in the fields,
//
A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any
more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green
stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may
see and remark, and say Whose?
Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the
vegetation.
Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I
receive them the same.
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.
 Whitman also loved cities and nations; “he saw in nations”, as one reviewer named it. I relate to that. I love his meditation on Ireland, for instance. Here’s one on Ireland from this collection, which eventually made it’s way into “Leaves of Grass”. I had a vision once, that Ireland was God’s heart; while Italy was the tip of His sword. Nice observations about her heart. I’ve felt similar things in prayer towards her:
OLD IRELAND.
FAR hence amid an isle of wondrous beauty,
Crouching over a grave an ancient sorrowful mother,
Once a queen, now lean and tatter’d seated on the ground,
Her old white hair drooping dishevel’d round her shoulders,
At her feet fallen an unused royal harp,
Long silent, she too long silent, mourning her shrouded hope and
heir,
Of all the earth her heart most full of sorrow because most full of
love.
Yet a word ancient mother,
You need crouch there no longer on the cold ground with fore-
head between your knees,
O you need not sit there veil’d in your old white hair so dishevel’d,
For know you the one you mourn is not in that grave,
It was an illusion, the son you love was not really dead,
The Lord is not dead, he is risen again young and strong in
another country,
Even while you wept there by your fallen harp by the grave,
What you wept for was translated, pass’d from the grave,
The winds favor’d and the sea sail’d it,
And now with rosy and new blood,
Moves to-day in a new country.
 There’s a nice resurrection hope in Whitman’s meditation on the dying and suffering soldiers of his time. We need that hope now to be sure. Nice re-reading these poems this holiday in the midst of so many wars, and so much suffering globally. Maybe now, we need global poets willing to name and nuance hope for our times! And hope for all our nations.

Walt Whitman, and a needed type of hope.

27 Tuesday Dec 2016

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  Still hard to beat the American poet Walt Whitman, for language and scope of vision for the whole nation! In times of great change, we still need poets to help guide us home to our true identity and forward toward it’s next chapters. Hoping for more Whitman’s to arise in our times. You don’t have to agree with everything someone says, to recognize their gift and impact on the whole. Whitman had that quintessential American soaring and hopeful vision, which America needed then. And does again now. And her compassion for the oppressed and weak. Her willingness to care again. And in his time, she was barely a nation, and still forming the foundations of her identity. Interesting moment in her story to return to now. A time when America still had and offered out hope.
 This year, i decided to give my wife Walt Whitman’s hope for America and beyond….a rare copy of the prequel to “Leaves of Grass”. This one is called, “Drum Taps”, and is mostly about his time with civil war veterans, and trying to bring meaning to their suffering. Whitman is still probably my favorite American poet, back when being a poet meant something to a nation. Back when poets really were the interpreters of nations—before the mass media kicked in. His ability to name and encourage the best of the whole nation’s gift was rare, and maybe hasn’t been repeated in America since.
 When I lived on the east coast of America, mostly in my car, at times beneath bridges (believe me, i have proof!), i used to always stop and sleep at the Walt Whitman rest area in New Jersey (service area, for my european friends). It was named after him, but also had the entire of leaves of grass written on the walls. I loved that America had a poet, before the beats and before it was just protest, and reaction—when it was still trying to name itself well, and offer hope to other nations.
   A poet sort of celebrating her identity, the truer identity of his nation at his time, in the strange new old world.
  I especially have always liked his civil war hospital poems that he wrote after visiting so many wounded soldiers. Growing up a minister’s son, I did hospitals and funerals weekly, so I related to Whitman’s care about the suffering people in his times.
I’ve always had a copy of “leaves of grass” nearby, but this year, decided in the wake of our current crisises globally, to get a more special copy specifically of his hospital poems, which he wrote for the dying, for my wife.
 These were mostly written while he was sitting with war veterans of that era’s war in the hospital. They still are moving, and as he really did have an american style of writing- big, bold, risky, long sentences—a muscular prose. I still like re-visiting his writings. He didn’t have the full picture spiritually, but certainly had the gift to express his times well! I still like his hopeful version of america, or at least his hope for her.
 I met Allen Ginsberg, Phillip Levine, and Galway Kinnel, some of my favorites American poets,  but Whitman’s generation had a different calling of how to name and challenge her, more of a celebratory and less a protest calling, more a naming a seeing the identity and less a complaint about it—good to go back and recall when people where celebrating your identity.
  Whitman still had a sort of old world hope, yet I would say, not romantic, and his time was before the old world lost her heart as well. That is, before our parents forgot themselves. But, in the end also, his is, just great art. He had a true poets gift of words. Expressing identity of a nation, and his own in dialogue!
 Here are few excerpts again from Whitman, if you’ve never read him, an interesting study in what America could be:
Trippers and askers surround me,
People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward
and city I live in, or the nation,
The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and
new,
My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,
The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,
The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or
lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,
Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news,
the fitful events;
These come to me days and nights and go from me again,
But they are not the Me myself.
Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain
rest,
Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,
Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.
Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with
linguists and contenders,
I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait.
//
I believe in you my soul, the other I am must not abase itself to you,
And you must not be abased to the other.
Loafe with me on the grass, loose the stop from your throat,
Not words, not music or rhyme I want, not custom or lecture, not
even the best,
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valvèd voice.
I mind how once we lay such a transparent summer morning,
How you settled your head athwart my hips and gently turn’d over
upon me,
And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your
tongue to my bare-stript heart,
And reach’d till you felt my beard, and reach’d till you held my
feet.
Swiftly arose and spread around me the peace and knowledge that
pass all the argument of the earth,
And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own,
And I know that the spirit of God is the brother of my own,
And that all the men ever born are also my brothers, and the
women my sisters and lovers,
And that a kelson of the creation is love,
And limitless are leaves stiff or drooping in the fields,
//
A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any
more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green
stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may
see and remark, and say Whose?
Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the
vegetation.
Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I
receive them the same.
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.
Whitman loved cities and nations; “he saw in nations”, as one reviewer named it. I relate to that.  Here’s one on Ireland from this collection, which eventually made it’s way into “Leaves of Grass”. I had a vision once, that Ireland was God’s heart; while Italy was the tip of His sword. Nice observations about her heart. I’ve felt similar things towards her:
OLD IRELAND.
FAR hence amid an isle of wondrous beauty,
Crouching over a grave an ancient sorrowful mother,
Once a queen, now lean and tatter’d seated on the ground,
Her old white hair drooping dishevel’d round her shoulders,
At her feet fallen an unused royal harp,
Long silent, she too long silent, mourning her shrouded hope and
heir,
Of all the earth her heart most full of sorrow because most full of
love.
Yet a word ancient mother,
You need crouch there no longer on the cold ground with fore-
head between your knees,
O you need not sit there veil’d in your old white hair so dishevel’d,
For know you the one you mourn is not in that grave,
It was an illusion, the son you love was not really dead,
The Lord is not dead, he is risen again young and strong in
another country,
Even while you wept there by your fallen harp by the grave,
What you wept for was translated, pass’d from the grave,
The winds favor’d and the sea sail’d it,
And now with rosy and new blood,
Moves to-day in a new country.
 There’s a nice resurrection hope in Whitman’s meditation on the dying and suffering soldiers of his time. We need that hope now to be sure. Nice re-reading these poems this holiday in the midst of so many wars, and so much suffering globally. Maybe now, we need global poets willing to name and nuance hope for our times! And hope for all our nations.

On Walt Whitman, as American poet

27 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by storehaufovic in Uncategorized

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This year, i decided to give my wife Walt Whitman’s hope for America and beyond….a rare copy of “Leaves of Grass”.
 When I lived on the east coast of America, mostly in my car, at times beneath bridges (believe me, i have proof!), i used to always stop and sleep at the Walt Whitman rest area in New Jersey (service area, for my european friends). It was named after him, but also had the entire of leaves of grass written on the walls. I loved that America had a poet, before the beats and before it was just protest, and reaction—when it was still trying to name itself well, and offer hope to other nations.
   A poet sort of celebrating her identity, the truer identity of his nation at his time, in the strange new old world.
  I especially have always liked his civil war hospital poems that he wrote after visiting so many wounded soldiers. Growing up a minister’s son, I did hospitals and funerals weekly, so I related to Whitman’s care about the suffering people in his times.
I’ve always had a copy of “leaves of grass” nearby, but this year, decided in the wake of our current crisises globally, to get a more special copy specifically of his hospital poems, which he wrote for the dying, for my wife.
 These were mostly written while he was sitting with war veterans of that era’s war in the hospital. They still are moving, and as he really did have an american style of writing- big, bold, risky, long sentences—a muscular prose. I still like re-visiting his writings. He didn’t have the full picture spiritually, but certainly had the gift to express his times well! I still like his hopeful version of america, or at least his hope for her.
 I met Allen Ginsberg, Phillip Levine, and Galway Kinnel, some of my favorites American poets,  but Whitman’s generation had a different calling of how to name and challenge her, more of a celebratory and less a protest calling, more a naming a seeing the identity and less a complaint about it—good to go back and recall when people where celebrating your identity.
  Whitman still had a sort of old world hope, yet I would say, not romantic, and his time was before the old world lost her heart as well. That is, before our parents forgot themselves. But, in the end also, his is, just great art. He had a true poets gift of words. Expressing identity of a nation, and his own in dialogue!
 Here are few excerpts again from Whitman, if you’ve never read him, an interesting study in what America could be:
Trippers and askers surround me,
People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward
and city I live in, or the nation,
The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and
new,
My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,
The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,
The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or
lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,
Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news,
the fitful events;
These come to me days and nights and go from me again,
But they are not the Me myself.
Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain
rest,
Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,
Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.
Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with
linguists and contenders,
I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait.
//
I believe in you my soul, the other I am must not abase itself to you,
And you must not be abased to the other.
Loafe with me on the grass, loose the stop from your throat,
Not words, not music or rhyme I want, not custom or lecture, not
even the best,
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valvèd voice.
I mind how once we lay such a transparent summer morning,
How you settled your head athwart my hips and gently turn’d over
upon me,
And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your
tongue to my bare-stript heart,
And reach’d till you felt my beard, and reach’d till you held my
feet.
Swiftly arose and spread around me the peace and knowledge that
pass all the argument of the earth,
And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own,
And I know that the spirit of God is the brother of my own,
And that all the men ever born are also my brothers, and the
women my sisters and lovers,
And that a kelson of the creation is love,
And limitless are leaves stiff or drooping in the fields,
//
A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any
more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green
stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may
see and remark, and say Whose?
Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the
vegetation.
Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I
receive them the same.
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.
Whitman loved cities and nations; “he saw in nations”, as one reviewer named it. I relate to that.  Here’s one on Ireland from this collection, which eventually made it’s way into “Leaves of Grass”. I had a vision once, that Ireland was God’s heart; while Italy was the tip of His sword. Nice observations about her heart. I’ve felt similar things towards her:
OLD IRELAND.
FAR hence amid an isle of wondrous beauty,
Crouching over a grave an ancient sorrowful mother,
Once a queen, now lean and tatter’d seated on the ground,
Her old white hair drooping dishevel’d round her shoulders,
At her feet fallen an unused royal harp,
Long silent, she too long silent, mourning her shrouded hope and
heir,
Of all the earth her heart most full of sorrow because most full of
love.
Yet a word ancient mother,
You need crouch there no longer on the cold ground with fore-
head between your knees,
O you need not sit there veil’d in your old white hair so dishevel’d,
For know you the one you mourn is not in that grave,
It was an illusion, the son you love was not really dead,
The Lord is not dead, he is risen again young and strong in
another country,
Even while you wept there by your fallen harp by the grave,
What you wept for was translated, pass’d from the grave,
The winds favor’d and the sea sail’d it,
And now with rosy and new blood,
Moves to-day in a new country.

What whales teach us…

27 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by storehaufovic in Uncategorized

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Father of the whales
We can’t even tend them—whales! God alone sitting with Himself far out at sea with the whales at night; each night; them breaking water’s surface in moonlight, when no one sees. How can we as humans, given so much, not be amazed and humbled immediately by them-breaking water’s seamless surface, unseen, but by God. The fact that we see them at all is a wonder and an act of evangelism on God’s part.
We have our domain, but when we really see the sea and all that happens constantly without out awareness, we know, there is much more.
But, Father watches the creatures of the deep, expressions of Himself when we are asleep. Each night, He keeps watch. Father watches the deep when we are asleep. The hump backs, break the surface of the sea and show their back to moon, in sounds unheard far out at sea, while we sleep, while we sleep…a whale song is heard somewhere.
And, Father knows each whale by name. None the same. None the same. That is enough to astound me forever, and not remain the same! To be unchanged by beholding the awareness of whale, is to be heart numb. We are to be transformed by mysteries unseen–things we cannot fully fathom!
We are not shepherds of the deep; we barely understand the seas, or ourselves, and yet, we have some tending to do there in both spaces.
 But Father sits with the whales nightly by Himself and considers their urges. Father sits alone at night with whales. And their dark unseen beauty of being. Something we may never fully know-how to tend the sea, at least with our awareness. But father sits alone at night with each whale, and knows their names.

considering the strangeness of Christmas

24 Saturday Dec 2016

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christmas
God coming into earth and dirt christmas
Jesus in animal trough christmas
muddy diaper animal smell christmas
multi-cultural all classes of people christmas
all colors and sizes and styles of wise people christmas
dirty diapered in an animal trough Jesus christmas
on the road with family christmas
mystical sky mapped christmas
strange boy God Christmas
un-usual packaged God Christmas
God using unlikely frames to enter christmas
blood and water on straw breaking christmas
out of your comfort zone christmas
unlikely muddy gloried christmas
christmas was strange christmas
salt and light christmas
weird star lit christmas
strange people in the same room christmas
Jewish boy king christmas
strangest story ever christmas
of unlikely formed Glory incarnation christmas
christmas
strangest holiday ever
strange bed-fellows
christmas
probably sukkoth christmas
probably weak vulnerable pilgrims in tents christmas
recalling our dependency christmas
Jesus as a pilgrim at birth christmas
strangest star on earth christmas;
probably with animals and what is lowly christmas
but also with royalty and earth kings christmas
probably very messy all around christmas
on the road christmas-long walk christmas
with strange men arriving christmas
weird way to change everything christmas
God’s ultimate creativity and love, christmas is.
everyone welcomed christmas!
if you’re weird enough to believe in
christmas. the greatest unlikely
holiday christmas
christ with us, within us, in our own inner animal troughs christmas
Him with us in our ugliest spaces being born, christmas
Him choosing stable over cathedral christmas
His showing up as a kid christmas
The Hope of Christmas in such a small package
baby christ who cannot walk or talk christmas
angels singing in rounds above and walking into and within christmas
animals responding to their presence christmas
Jesus probably petting them christmas
smell of incense from foreign lands christmas
mixing with animal manure christmas
strange languages and weird regal gifts christmas
the Odd God breaking into history
Christmas. Strangest holiday there is christmas
and perhaps the truest revelation of up coming down. Christmas.
Everyone still in pain christmas, lonely and breaking
bombed and shaking at christmas;
yet, nothing’s the same because
christmas….

Christmas–how bizarre! Considering the strangeness of Christmas!

24 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by storehaufovic in Uncategorized

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Christmas is strange! Finding Christmas peculiar again…
 Every year I write a christmas poem. This year, thinking about the strangeness of Christmas, and how it helps to remember just how odd this story is. That ultimate God would chose to incarnate like this is weird, and maybe to rediscover the story beneath the cultural extroversion of this holiday, we need to see it as strange again (as an ultimately shocking narrative)…my favorite part has always been these multi-cultural wise men staring at stars to find the Jew boy King. That alone is weird, and feels really true to me.
  But there are lots of odd parts to the story about this hinge of history moment in space and time…
 i know many no longer believe in christmas, as I have friends from many faiths and belief systems, but you at least have to consider how strange it actually is even outside the cultural frames. It’s an Odd God story!
 So I’m focusing on the strangeness of christmas this year in order to let it enter freshly into me heart’s imagination. Also considering the multi-cultural and multi-dimensional oddity of it (“the angelic ripples”, as one monk put it). This happens again at the Resurrection, and to me the birth and resurrection are symbolically connected. I can’t think of christmas without thinking of easter!
 There are lots of angels in the story, which we focused on last year, how His birth effected the spiritual realms; but also there are many cultures of wise people (my favorites) following the skies towards some prophetic event in a tiny town. They were also from all classes of society, and I assume all ethnicities! Anyway, here is my little free verse christmas poem from this year:
christmas
God coming into earth and dirt christmas
Jesus in animal trough christmas
muddy diaper animal smell christmas
multi-cultural all classes of people christmas
all colors and sizes and styles of wise people christmas
dirty diapered in an animal trough Jesus christmas
on the road with family christmas
mystical sky mapped christmas
strange boy God Christmas
un-usual packaged God Christmas
God using unlikely frames to enter christmas
blood and water on straw breaking christmas
out of your comfort zone christmas
unlikely muddy gloried christmas
christmas was strange christmas
salt and light christmas
weird star lit christmas
strange people in the same room christmas
Jewish boy king christmas
strangest story ever christmas
of unlikely formed Glory incarnation christmas
christmas
strangest holiday ever
strange bed-fellows
christmas
probably sukkoth christmas
probably weak vulnerable pilgrims in tents christmas
recalling our dependency christmas
Jesus as a pilgrim at birth christmas
strangest star on earth christmas;
probably with animals and what is lowly christmas
but also with royalty and earth kings christmas
probably very messy all around christmas
on the road christmas-long walk christmas
with strange men arriving christmas
weird way to change everything christmas
God’s ultimate creativity and love, christmas is.
everyone welcomed christmas!
if you’re weird enough to believe in
christmas. the greatest unlikely
holiday christmas
christ with us, within us, in our own inner animal troughs christmas
Him with us in our ugliest spaces being born, christmas
Him choosing stable over cathedral christmas
His showing up as a kid christmas
The Hope of Christmas in such a small package
baby christ who cannot walk or talk christmas
angels singing in rounds above and walking into and within christmas
animals responding to their presence christmas
Jesus probably petting them christmas
smell of incense from foreign lands christmas
mixing with animal manure christmas
strange languages and weird regal gifts christmas
the Odd God breaking into history
Christmas. Strangest holiday there is christmas
and perhaps the truest revelation of up coming down. Christmas.
Everyone still in pain christmas, lonely and breaking
bombed and shaking at christmas;
yet, nothings the same because
christmas….
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