Raw journaling…on the road….some cafe somewhere in the desert of north america.
God is putting an urgency on my sending out blessings to His People. the anointing to bless—to send blessings to His People all over the world. Anyone who might need encouragement. I love those Jesus loves because I love Jesus. You’re preciousness begins in His Heart, and your communion with His Heart. That’s where all your outer expression comes from—it’s true. We get very close—despite my extroverted talky nature. I do listen though. We come close. And everything else happens from that space. The outer stuff. I’m good with people, but i always come home to Him. He really is my home. My center. Mystic wonderer.
He gives me insights into people. To see which parts are already in Him, and which parts are struggling or being blocked by darker forces. He shows me insights into people, sometimes so i can pray, sometimes so i can directly help them, or help guide them towards their next in Him. Their next in Him, is what i get happy about seeing. With my more mature friends, i never doubt that they will keep pressing into more of Him. Younger ones haven’t yet fully prioritized that growing up into The Head. But you can tell when someone has crossed over onto a life path of following Him. Take off all the christian cultural cheese, and you have a life broken into His.
I love many people in Him. I can see how the real church fathers really carried and loved many churches and people, and through those people many others. I’m not that quality of father as them, but my heart has been growing to take in more of His through prayer. I care for the swedish church, the african church, most of the european church etc. He grows our hearts in and through prayer. I am not a great marathon runner, but rather a sprinter, still He grows me through prayer. The action of prayer, of coming into His intercessive presence.
There’s a lot of information now. Visual, written—everywhere information. But wisdom is to steep and sift to find treasures—it is still the glory of kings to seek out a matter.
The hardest parts for me have to do with loving people everywhere, and not being able to be with everyone at key moments. Same with global events—I want to be at them all; and in some ways, i get to be through Him and in prayer. Jesus is everywhere and through time! So, i was at the falling of the berlin wall also. But really, in this little passage of life, i love being at key events—global symbolic fusion moments.
I think i am growing in love, and certainly in His Peace. The practice of returning into His Peace has been mine for a while now. I really needed it also. I used to just be bounced around from my sensitivity; but not truly free. True freedom is to interpret oneself and one’s situation correctly—i.e. by The Spirit. Freedom is a matter of true interpretation.
The final stage of life feels about increasingly being in Jesus’s trust of The Father.
Trust—to be in His, is our ultimate; then we know we are engulfed in His immense endless Love for us. For God so actually loved the world.

That image of us living behind a horseshoe waterfall, and dwelling in an enormous bejeweled cave with God. Then we turn and look outwards through the water crest and offer things to others. To switch metaphors, we have to live up the mountain, and if we chose, we go down into the valley. But we are not valley folk. We are mountain people, and we need to not define ourselves in the terms of the valley. Jesus lives often in the Valley as well, so we go with Him there, and stay close to Him there. But we have to take care not to assume we are “of” the valley. Heaven is His throne the earth His footstool.
Going back to the waterfall metaphor—we see when we poke our swords through the cascade, that it touches others, and we may get arrows hurled back at us, then we return to the inner cave, but we need not stay there, for Jesus is able to heal quickly. And if we wish to serve others with Him, we may return to the cascade, and the place of interface with the world. And return. When we stick our sword out and interface with the world, we are still protected by the waterfall, yet we make ourself wet with the world.
Some of us have not known the cave well enough, and need to dwell there for a season. These have spent their lives on the crest of the falls trying to help others, but cannot draw from the strength of the inner cave with The Father. Others have only been in the cave, and need to come out and serve others to know of Jesus great labor for the world. To swivel their desk chairs around from the cave and at least consider the crashing of the falls. And the potential glory outside them. The cries and needs coming from the world.
Some parts of the church have known the cave only, or the outer cascade only, and need knowledge of God from the other aspects He would offer us.

Jesus comes into that space between desire and action—Phil 2:13. This embodied will idea of D. Willard. Jesus needing to get into that space between desire and action; and this verse goes further in telling us He is able to enter our desires and actions—cause us to will and to act according to Your Purposes. There is a permission involved of course. We are not robots, however, once permission is given, He can lean our desires and actions into His. Jesus becomes ever more in our embodied will. So that we instinctively move more from His Spirit. This is the process of depth sanctification. Jesus sinking into us more deeply. Jesus eclipsing our soul’s (less my pain, more His). This is the process of , “not I, but Christ.” That is the more mature stage of our spirituality—in which we respond through Christ to others. We decrease, as He increases. Ironically, our true selves also come forth and shine in this process. We die, to become ourselves!