More on life lessons from each season thus far:

I still like this idea of thinking about what you learned from each season of life—marriage has taught me humility, that there was so much i had no idea about, that we can get to know someone deeply through many seasons of life is such a gift; and that I’ve gotten to know parts of God I never would have otherwise.

In a funny way, marriage seems to teach us to fellowship with His Sufferings for one another! Though they may not sound like a fun reason to be attracted to marriage! Suffering with and for brings deeper transformation in us.

If spiritual growth is your core motivation, as it is one of mine, marriage is a great method! Not the only, but a effective one, if you keep diving into Love, and His Perspective of the other person He is sharing with you!

But, also it’s almost like you have access to that other person’s part of heaven or parts of God, and that’s astounding in my case. Of course, we have sort of a mystical marriage, but I’ve gotten to travel into so many more parts of heaven-specifically into The Father’s Heart and realms, and practical formation down here, by being married.

And just simply gotten less selfish—marriage forces that, if you stay with it. There’s much more I’ve learned from being married, but at least that much. Enjoying thinking about what I’ve learned from each season of life thus far! Good practice to recount it, i think! Ok, more on what I’ve learned in marriage later, but just getting some rough sketches of all it can form in us down here!

I know lots of people are anti-marriage in my generation, but I see it as one of the most subversive alternative punk options for spiritual formation on earth! It’s the hardest, so must be one of the best ways! It’s like sharpening knives underwater, or many other images. Marriage is still one of the best containers for becoming who we really are on earth! It requires the most “death to self daily”—that alone would make it a noble pursuit!

Ok so someone asked me what did you learn from that season of life? So, I’m writing a little series of what I’ve learned from each season of life thus far! Fun meditation! I’m writing longer (yes, even longer!) articles on another site, but thought I’d share little glistenings here as well just for fun.

The person who originally asked me was talking about when I lived in Switzerland years back and studied at L’abri, a creative christian community started in the 60’s by Francis Shaeffer and his wife Edith. I was told it was a place which could help integrate my arts and spiritual backgrounds. To bring the art world and the church world under one larger roof has always been a central passion for me. I think it started that process in me.

Well, so a short version of what i learned or incarnated there: that there was no area of Life where we could not meet God. That Christ was Lord over all of Reality including the arts and imagination, and every other realm, so we are free to pursue our identity callings in whatever field is authentic to us.

It was a permission giving place in that sense, and one of integrating the arts and church world for me. That creativity was part of being human and so part of our authentic relationship with Christ, so should be dynamic, alive and one of a kind, in that sense.

I always felt like they were meant to be in the same room, and this place and the teachers there gave me permission to do so in myself. Permission to just be and pursue excellence in whatever your heart’s interest was–your inner calling-that was a big gift which came from those mighty mountains in Switzerland into me and many others. I came to see back then, that both the church and the art world were contextualized in a larger spiritual context, which I had alway intimated was there!

That I am an artist and a christian are not contradictory, but work in tandem, one contextualizing the other. And that I didn’t have to make “Christian” art, but if I was centered in Christ, could just make art, and that central life giving relationship, would be implied. That was a big release for me. I had mostly seen art used as propaganda for Christ, or as decoration, rather than overflow from authentic relationship and identity in Christ. Art as evangelism quickly turns into propaganda, and not great art as well.

There were many other things which were imparted there, but that was a big one. God is One so no area of Reality is outside of His Heart’s concern and desire to incarnate with and through us. That was a simple but profound integration in my younger life. I had been to art school and studied at seminary, and wanted to see how to two could come together in an authentic way. Turns out they already were in a larger Kingdom context.

I also learned french surrealist poetry there from my mentor, which was also cool, but that central integration probably has lasted longer!

More things i’m learning in counseling others…

My two new favorite questions in counseling: what is the central truth you think your life emphasizes? What does your life teach? (Try to be specific, not general) That’s probably the part of God you know and reflect, or have already incarnated. It’s also a key hole into true identity! Who we are comes before what we do: identity precedes calling, as they say!

“I knit you, therefore I called you to do…” to walk on that path prepared beforehand (Eph 2:10)

Then, how are you planting that teaching, the seed you truly are?
What’s your context or flower pot? Where’s the good soil for your particular seeds?

Been enjoying starting conversations with friends like that recently.
Another one I like: if it was just you and God on earth-no roles, no people to please or be defined by—who would you be? Essentializing identity interest me! Who are you outside all your seasonal roles in life!

I’ve enjoyed hearing people’s answers to these two questions recently!

I tilted my sails, somewhere between the art world and the church world, and what I found was The Holy Spirit beckoning me towards…a Higher Realm which contextualized them both!

I think our friendship with God is symbiotic, though He does most of the giving!
Still a friendship spirituality is what we are offered, so we must bless Him also, maybe most by just constantly recognizing how Loving and cool amazing He is, and how much, for some reason, He digs us also, especially when we are being ourselves! Seeing spirituality as friendship was one of His themes in the book.
I don’t know if God “needs” us (that’s a deep theological question), but He certainly likes and loves us! And wants to be friends! That much I know. We’ve been friends as long as i can recall.
Entering as friends is the way and tone of Love. I try to practice that tone in my friendships on earth as well. Why not! If we are all eternal friends in the end, start practicing it here!

In my other dream…about identity—
In the other dream, i was fully myself, had feathers in my hair, a great costume, and was running around talking to all sorts of people and nations in joy, and in lots of languages; and was giving my treasures without fear of other’s rejections or opinions.

It felt like King David dancing before the Ark! Love that freedom space!
I was completely myself before God, as if it were just us two on earth–that inner garden space of communion of beings. Ourselves, outside all our fleeting roles in life!

In the dream, I was not yet perfect or whole, and was older, maybe just before death, but comfortable being who I was where I was at in my growth journey before Him, and others.

I was not defined by others, nor afraid that they could take anything away from me, or even pressured by their needs. I was living before God in that one on One freedom. I was free to be me.

He took great pleasure in me just being myself. And it gave room for Him to walk on earth in pleasure. What a great dream! I hope i incarnate that one! Nice to think that being our real selves, makes God happy! After all, we are His poetry, why not let Him pronounce us as we are!

I love it when things are just being themselves! As Thomas Merton said, “A tree praises God by being a tree!”
Why not we!!!

More from dream:

Had two really cool dreams last night. In the first, I was in outer space looking at the earth, and I heard a Voice say God is One, then i panned all the way down to earth and saw all the cancerous divisions in things–people, nature, leaves everything.

Things were either increasing in chaos and decay and deterioration, and division or coming together into integrated identities. Everything was either rotting or coming into wholeness–distintegrating or integrating! Things in or receptive to His Presence were gathering into identity, things not in Him were dividing and disintegrating.

Then i panned back up and heard Him say, “And My attention is undivided.”

I immediately sensed that God’s entire heart was on this project of making things whole or themselves through His Son, and that Father was already leaning in, and considering standing up and coming more fully into His Creation again. Cosmic dreams are the best. Somehow it was comforting to think about the Oneness of God coming to earth! Especially when i saw how cancerous and divided things were becoming. It was like I was inside the Shema prayer in this dream. Thanks, I needed that one! Plus, I like the idea of God having “undivided attention”! Never thought of oneness like that! I learn so much from dreams!

Look above in Love more often, until everything is leaning towards the right Polar Star, as Heschel called it. Lean your entire life towards One Star, and make sure it’s the right star, then just lean it all in, every part of the soul’s life including the physical body. Just align it with that star—when we draw near, so does God.

What would it look like if we were just fully being ourselves before God. That’s the feeling i had in my dream last night. I was just fully living before Him even in my imperfections. And one of the fruits is I had no fear of others–either their judgements, rejections, or that they could steal some part of me, because I was living fully before God who was pleased that I was. God is not looking for our perfection, but for intimacy with us.

Had two really cool dreams last night. In the first I was in outer space looking at the earth, and I heard a Voice say God is One, then i panned all the way down to earth and saw all the cancerous divisions in things–people, nature, leaves everything. Things were either increasing in chaos and decay and deterioration, and division or coming together into integrated identities. Things in Him were gathering into identity, things not in Him were dividing and disintegrating. Then i panned back up and heard Him say, “And My attention is undivided.” I immediately sensed that God’s entire heart was on this project of making things whole or themselves through His Son, and that Father was already leaning in, and considering standing up and coming more fully into His Creation again. Cosmic dreams are the best. Somehow it was comforting to think about the Oneness of God coming to earth! Especially when i saw how cancerous and divided things were becoming.

In the other dream i was fully myself, had feathers in my hair and was giving my treasures without fear to others. I was completely myself before God. Not yet perfect, but comfortable being who I was where I was at in my growth before Him, and others. I was not defined by others, nor afraid that they could take anything away from me. I was living before God. I was free to be me. He took great pleasure in me just being myself. It was a great dream, i woke up feeling His pleasure, and very much myself. Just to know that no matter our level of spiritual growth, if we are living before God He is happy with us, gave me such Peace. I didn’t need to get to a certain stage before I could bring Him pleasure, just by turning and living before Him in humility and trust, made Him Happy. He is not looking for our perfection, but for intimacy. We get intimate by confessing and admitting our need for and wonder in Him. This is the pleasing sacrifice of our self sufficiency. Having the full permission to be completely ourselves before God, to stop hiding, was so liberating. Realizing i did not need to be perfect before living before Him.

Daniel was a spiritual genius. Not because of his gifts, but because He was completely dependent on God. Dependency pleases God.

Freedom is the right interpretations of things. It is interpreting things from the place where the Tone of His Love is entering. Find that area, and interpret starting there. Even seeing yourself outside of fear, and in the house of love is the most basic way to stay authentically yourself.

It’s a practice–to stay in that part of yourself which senses the tone of God’s Love. God is Love, so that is where you are most yourself. Not afraid of being. To stay authentically free is to stay in the tone of love in yourself and towards others. Nothing can separate us from the Love of God, but we must choose to remain in it. It’s always there. Freedom is to stay there.

Whatever parts are still living in fear of love, are the parts which are dying and trying to control things. Give your fears to Him–of not amounting to much, not living up to your potential etc…given them all to Him, and let Him bath you in Love.

Know the season in Him you are in. This let’s you not interpret the situation through old lens–last season’s. We each go through different seasons of growth. Know which one you are in. The Cloud moves, stay in it. And don’t interpret things through last season’s lens. Again, stay where Love is. Follow That Voice. The Voice of Love is always home.

How to stay in freedom–stay in the Voice of Love; it interprets the situation best. Right interpretation keeps us in true freedom. In one sense, freedom is interpretation more from His Perspective. That occurs in the tone of Love–that funnel, i once saw is our home. Focus only on Him.

I’m, for instance, in a writing season, so I may not be able to bless as many daily for a season. Knowing that this is where I am meeting Him now, helps me not judge by last season’s standards.

The reason we have to renew our minds daily, is we have to get the right interpretation of things from Him, His Word, and His Heart. We have to enter again His Voice of Love even to interpret ourselves well.

My biggest distraction is being worried more about getting it right, than being in His Love. I’m a living perfectionist. If I think i got it wrong, and get blocked and can’t hear anymore that Voice of Love. I get more worried about whether i did it right than i do about God. I’ve worked on it, but it still happens. And when things go flat in life, i have my proof that i screwed it up, as if, even if i did, God could not unscrew it up. I spend a long time accessing whether i did something right. And i often think i missed the choreography of things. Drives me crazy about myself. And blocks God.

How does one get unblocked. Follow the Voice of Love. It I stop and find Love’s Voice, i stop judging myself in the same way, and i start to interpret myself and my situation more accurately. His Grace is indeed sufficient, to help us find His Love which is who He is. Love is God’s identity! His Loving Presence, renews our minds.