Diary entry about what I learn from my dogs:

I have two types of dogs-

one with very specifically focused affections;

the other, who gives them everywhere;

both ways, seem useful

depending on the day

or the situation.

Jakob doesn’t care, he’s like King David dancing half naked before the ark,

as long as he’s not in trouble.

the rest of his life is sheer

love of everything at once-every scent and motion, a

potential path to explore. ( i relate to that)

a gusto for the universe

without discrimination,

a ubiquitous scattered passion for all.

So, a love willing to be worn thin again and again,

yet, trusting it will return.

The priest, Henri Nouwenn spoke of

putting boundaries on our loves, so they

become more potently focused, more accurately planted. More, potentially fruitful.

As you put edges on a garden, you notice the whole process,

of fruitfulness, more astutely, you

make it yours to know through,

 learn from, and be changed by, formed.

I’m not sure Jakob has downloaded that teaching yet.

Nor have I fully.

Pearl, my other dog, is often pointedly concerned,

she carries the weight of caring, the burden of being,

having come out of Hurricane Katrina-

a pearl of great cost forged in suffering.

Often, I want to make her life simpler, lighter

for her, for her own sake.

Just so she never wastes her suffering.

I learn so much of God from both of my dog’s ways!

“The whole universe can be learned from causing the creatures to praise!”

as one saint put it.

Raw diary notes unedited…

I’m being equipped in how to disciple, by first practicing it in myself. One aspect is to know how and when to retreat from people to the deserted places (Luke 5). When you are, as i am, prophetic pastoral, you want to help others, but you also see lots of what they really need. The nuances, the layers, and you have to often draw near to God to process all you see together with Him, partly so you can see how He is really helping them. And partly just to get in re-awe of just how kind and thorough He is towards each of us! His thousand daily thoughts towards each of us daily! They are real, nuanced, specific …

Drawing near often throughout the day is one praxis for those in ministry, or those who have both a pastoral and prophetic heart–those who care deeply, but also see far. Learning how to be both a sensitive shepherd and a far viewing prophet is to integrate two parts of His Life which He alone has integrated. We see and know, and we also care and want to minister His Life into each situation. It’s a journey how these dance together. He is integrating the two in my own spirituality currently. And it requires some practices.

Often clinging to Christ, when there are many pulls outwards to others. Probably why I’m studying spiritual disciplines and contemplation. How do I draw near? Study, travel, seeing in Him etc. Practicing this throughout the days. Jesus was in His public ministry when He retreated often to be with His Father. Even awareness of animal’s needs is hard when you are drained. How ministers stay close to God while giving so much to others is a key. That full silent active listening hour with God becomes essential.

King David often returned throughout the day, even while ruling an entire nation. It’s possible to be a king and still stay intimate with God. For one, you need time to process it all with God. Come let us reason…Silence into active listening to God; Merton’s going to abandoned huge churches often…etc.  It means you won’t be available to others at times, and that’s hard for ministers! Still, it is more important that you be close and filled with God, even if your motivation is to help others. I’m never not aware of people. I can will not to engage, but I’m always aware of them. At times, i need to be close to those who do not pull. That’s ok. Permission granted. To cling to Christ often regardless other’s needs is a hard discipline for a ministry oriented person. The poor will be with you always…but Jesus only did what He saw the father doing.

IT’s ok to just write and converse with other peers this season for a bit! You need that mutuality right now. Still, i will always minister. I trust that He will bring the right younger ones around at His Time. I”m sort of in a secret place part of my spiritual growth. He hasn’t really shared me yet; He is still forming this next season of Himself in me. That’s ok. Giving me insights into elder’s issues, and other leaders, and lots of deeper revelation of His Nature through scriptures. Really expanding my theology of being. And teaching me to abide in Him more constantly. Been a rich season. Less ministry, more just prayer and study. I’ve come to enjoy the monastic quality of it, even as a spiritual extrovert!

I can feel much more His Fatherhood gathering in my heart; and others are drawn just to sit near Him in me. Nice.

Ok, to just chat with the fathers on line. So many needs expressed there, it’s ok also to pull away from public media in order to stay and abide and reside in Him, at times….

I think i’m giving myself permission to be more in a formation season than a ministering outward one. It’s not easy when you still perceive needs around you constantly. But we are meant to be led by His Spirit not the needs of others. It’s a discipline for me. To see what others need, but to be mainly watching and led by Him, even if it doesn’t feel fruitful. Yet, I know His deeper formation in me is always fruitful. He knows I will want to run around blessings others soon enough. But for now He is jealous just for me. How remarkable His Love is.

Last night, in an early cool Austin evening, a girl sat down across from me at a local cafe, and said, “I just want to be silent near you, is that ok. I won’t take anything, but you walk in Peace, and I need to be near that right now.” Wow—that was a nice compliment.

Often i feel tumultuous, as my personality is so sensitive to my surroundings, and often dynamically volatile or reactive, but I’m glad that Peace is coming off me, despite myself. That the place in which I’m really sitting or seated internally, is emanating regardless of how i feel in the moment!

Another guy, I often see around town, who has had a tough life, today said,

“I always appreciate saying hi to you.” I’ve had so many moments like this this week, again despite being very busy and not feeling like I’m doing a great job, as I’ve been moving outside my “gift set” lots this week-spiritually stretching, as they say.

“Being reminded of how limited we each are, and yet, how boundlessly we can bless, when living in His Spirit!” as one early monk put it.

 People need to ground and feel safe to be themselves, and I hope that I am an honest authentic, creative, and safe place of Peace for others-a tree others can rest near, even if just for a moment. More and more, that’s what makes me happy.

Also been given several things for free this week, and I felt like they were offering it to something beyond me.

I like reminders like this. Just to be a place of Peace is often the biggest gift we can be, especially in our tumultuous times. Thankful to still be here this week, and that my presence might be a blessing in spite of myself.

Future plans:

Principle in urban planning of continuity with variety is also true with spirituality and spiritual direction. You need to rest on what you know (or have already embodied in your life of His Life) as you expand into what you don’t know of Him. This principle of dynamic growth is true across the fields of knowledge, and we need both in spiritual growth as well. Know our foundations, even as we build new wings with and in Him. When a city develops with a lack of continuity with its past, you feel the dis-integration. When there is an honoring of the past while taking things into the next level of expression, you keep oriented as you expand. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever into your own future. He is present in all three spaces simultaneously. It’s possible therefore to pray from your future self to bless your current situation. How would you pray from your older self into your current self? Sitting with Jesus in your future. Peter’s principle of spiritual continuum: already currently receiving the object of your faith, you live in inexpressible joy. (I Peter)

Jesus as the teacher and the Way to enter the teaching:

“Jesus accessed or discerned people’s real questions, and invited them to encounter The answer, for and in themselves, and be transformed by it. That was not just what He taught (spiritual information), but how He taught. His Medium was part of His Message. He, of course, was both the medium and the message and the empowerment to actually transform. So He was in a unique position. He offered true identity, purpose and power to become it. Answering the most basic needs of being human: identity and empowerment to walk it out. Impressive. It’s one thing to get information about how to grow and find the solution to your problems. It is another to also be that solution. Master. The ultimate Guide was also the Way. His answers always led people into the Reality of their solutions.”

What got you interested in the relationship between art and faith?

Well everything. My dad is a minister, my mom, an artist; so, in some sense, i feel i have always been trying to find a spiritual context for both the church and the art world.

I realized early on that the Kingdom of God, which Jesus spoke of was bigger than both the church and the art world, and somehow contextualized both.

In what sense?

Well, for the art world, it provides a sense of purpose for why create, and addresses that need for the work to have a larger significance, than just making stuff. The art world has it’s own upper stories or ultimate ground of being—usually in the west it is some form of success. But what Jesus was teaching was higher than success.  It was more transformational, on an individual and outwardly and society level. If we take on His Nature, we change all that is around us by His character and Life flowing outwards through our lives and art. We express our core identities in Him, through art-and it communicates through symbols His Life out to others. He was teaching us about what we actually are–I know you, therefore I called you to create. In this way, true art making is inescapable from finding identity.

And the way to do that?

Well, St Peter would be a clarion example. You have a spiritual revelation in such a way that you see the true nature of things, this happens first through seeing the True Identity of Jesus Himself. This is always the starting point to self understanding–seeing who Jesus is; then He is permitted to start whispering our names to us. When we focus on Him, we are given ourselves, because He knows us better than we do. He contextualizes us to ourselves.

Then I think, He starts revealing our eternal names to us over time, and through experiences. The white stone room above where all our names are written, starts to get activated as we look at who He really is. He is the Source of Identity. I think lots of people miss that in the church. He knows us. As David and the prophet Jeremiah saw!

Jesus, You,  knit me, therefore you are able to call, cause me to stand and reveal my particular path in you–that one prepared before hand, which is hidden and secure in His Own Heart. That is our ultimate context for every dimension of who we are, including our creative selves or imaginations. The whole self is meant to be baptized into that place in Him, and it does indeed become the “secret place of the Most High”. He takes us to His Own Garden. And there is great mystery and becoming in that journey.

So there is a relationship between art making and finding your true self?

I think they are inevitably intertwined! There is no way to truly be in the creative process, and not desire to know who you are. And the way to know who you are, is to seek out who God is. You may stop at lower versions of God—Nature, or some philosophy; but you will want some way of interpreting why you create.

Some people go with modern psychology or other philosophical systems as their method of interpreting. I’ve gone with Jesus, and His word. Of course, the Bible itself is more a work of art, than a book of philosophy. So even to encounter God through the book, requires a paradigm shift for most of us.

The Bible as art interest me?

Well, it is—one third is fine art, the rest is mostly stories and great cosmic tales.

The whole book begins by focusing on God’s creative process, of which we were the pentacle or crown of creation, as the book says it. If we are the best art of God (the crown of creation, His poetry -Ephesian 2:10), then we need to consider that we ourselves are also probably creative, and play a collaborative part in creation.

Of course there is the constant interruption of our beings by sin, but we still have this echo of the Voice in us. We still have to create, and can do so as collaboration with God. Art is basically another area to tabernacle with the Living God, and be transformed through, and then refract that transformation and Life Force outwards to the world, or society, if you are given such a grand platform.

For an artist, their spirituality is largely a collaboration with God. It is less about and more from this collaboration. At least, my favorite artists did this: Van Gogh, TS Elliot, George MacDonald etc….people who actually met God through their creative process. You feel that dialogue regardless of how far each artist was along in their spiritual growth. You sense God meeting them as they created. When this happens, you begin to know yourself.

Art and true identity, and even empowerment to live out who you really are, are all intertwined, and spill, or pour forth from our authentic and actual relationship with God!

The church has often just used art as propoganda, the art world as a product to prove success; but there is something much different going on in the Kingdom. Art, and art making is a part of collaborating with God, and getting to be part of stewarding and tending, and even naming and expressing Reality! It’s part of tending the garden!

I think traditionally the post-reformation church sort of contextualize art as evangelistic propaganda-illustrative art meant to convince people the gospel information. Or was just overtly against, any type of creative dialogue with Christ in a living active way. I think what is changing there as a gospel of the Kingdom is preached, is that art ends up being more about our deeper formation and discipleship, firstly of ourselves, then of the nations. The imagination starts to enter into our relationship with God, rather than be decorative. You have to ask, if the poverty of the imagination in much of the 20th C church, has had to do with not understanding creativity as a part of our relationship to and with God.

You can leap ahead to now, where people really need creative spiritual rituals in their lives to offer meaning. People are seeking backwards, but the symbolic dimension of our spirituality and relationship with God has always been available, it didn’t take Azusa and, later the charismatic and prophetic movements to reveal to us, that God was creative and wanted to shine through His people in creative ways.

He is One, His Own creativity is eternal, and includes the new creation He is creating in us, and the new heavens and earth. He doesn’t stop making up new metaphors of Himself! God expresses Himself. That’s there at the beginning of the book. Why would God create. In the beginning, God CREATED!

Now, many are returning to monasticism or earlier, more ritualistic forms of christianity, but this stream of creativity has always been there, because it is in Him. He wants us to be free in this area of the arts, and to meet Him there. Conversely, there are other problems in the art world.

What of the art world? Is it the idolization of the creative talents?

Certainly it is that. But also it is art as entertainment, as opposed to ladder to the stars (ad aspera Dios etc), or artist as teacher of how to see many dimensions and live well in that fuller view. Art is meant to lift us up into His Kingdom, so we can interpret what’s going on down here!

Instead, artist are pulled towards just mere representation of ideas of projects, usually, in the West, to sell products–so Mammon pulls and kills many artist. Still, most artist want to be what Francis Shaeffer would call, “valid”–ie to be true to their process and create a body of work which makes a whole statement. But the temptation to value ourselves based on our talents is immense. And worse, to give them to causes which are not His. We have to often return to our first Love, and be meet God in our art making.

If our talents are not really on the altar as they say, we won’t make it. We have to have gotten our validation directly from The Father first, way before the world or the audience. Otherwise, we will need to get the fat lady to clap forever. Funny thing is, the fat Lady is Christ, and she has been applauding all along! We are approved and He is amazed by us, because He made and knows us. As long as we chase after the praise of men, our art will be violated and misled. Our best art is foolishness compared to His. He created the earth, then made us our of Nature, and breathed His breath, and then gave us permission to tend His Own creation. We are collaborators at best.

Art as product–talk about that?

In the art world, art is seen more as product, and part of the artist celebrity complex–where you try to get the biggest and most exposure or gallery shows etc. You basically try to get famous in the world system. This is bankrupt of course, in the end as a true motivation to keep creating.

There are the three monsters against the art world: some form of materialism, some form of witchcraft or false advertising serving fame, and some form of narcissism which looks at the artist as god. In truth artist play a priestly role, but their creative nature is a reflection of who God is, and meant to be a sign of hope joy and inspiration and freedom for others.

In the church, it is more a problem of using artist to promote your own agenda, so it is prostitutional use of the arts. Both need to contextualize themselves in a Kingdom of Jesus setting in order to be able to interpret the true meaning and purpose of the arts.

Seek first His Kingdom and righteousness, and all these things, including a context of arts and culture, will be added unto you….

More soon from this interview.

Blessed are you for overcoming with the art word of His Testimony (The Word as communicated through a creative media, like language or visual media, even prayer is a creative medium!). (A translation of St John’s blessing for those who overcome by His Light-understanding and power and the truth of His Word, and the power of His Living story!) It’s like overcoming by His Version of how things really are- the true story about Reality, given what Jesus, The Light, has done and is doing!

Also, to express it through art, imparts the truth of it. That’s one of the gifts of art—direct impartation like music.

Thanks for claiming and downloading that truth through art friend. Isaiah also says, arise and shine your Light has come! (Is. 60) that passage augments and illuminates the one in your art. We arise, claim and name, then He shines, and overcomes darkness. There’s a whole sermon in this piece! Love it! For the light is already dawning, as it dawns in and on us, it is refracted out onto others! Been thinking about the nature of Light in scriptures this week, thanks for sharing that one lovely sister. Glad we are on the same illuminated page friend. “The people walking in darkness, have seen a great Light.” Isaiah says earlier in his collection of prophetic art. (9:2) Good meditation.

Isaiah’s sermons on light.

The funeral of this planet, and the coming of the Light of marital beauty, occur simultaneously in Isaiah’s (one of the most poetic Jewish prophets) passages on the nature of the True Light.

The darkness covers the whole earth, at this future moment he poetically inscribes repeatedly, when the light breaks forth on His People and City (Isaiah 40 and 2), the nations make their choice! And, we, stream either towards or away from it! Those who move away, die. Those who move towards are instantly blessed into being!

The darkness increases, and is increasing daily, and yet, and then the Light appears (as it is already dawning on those of us who are turned towards it! We, just simple reflectors, not based on how far we have come, but on how fully we are turned and yielded, how close we are to The Light!), and illuminates and transforms everything! People stream towards it, or away from it–always that is the choice, move towards or away from Him, The Light! What magnetizes you? Determine that now.

 Everyone leaves and clings towards, or in reaction to the Light.

The prophet’s metaphor here is the nature of the dawn. He uses the metaphor’s of nature.

As the sun is a sign of The Son’s Nature dawning…each day, we watch this break of light over all of creation. The metaphor here is the light is already breaking on those who are receptive! And it will shine ever more fully as we lean in! Our job is to lean well, to be the receptors of The Light. We then, not only  become transformed, but we become refractors of His Light–He who is The Light!

People stream towards or away from  it (from Him), bringing the best of what they have (the gift of their nation)s, their finest gifts to bring to the King and His Presence.

Isaiah 2 and 40 both deal with this moment in future history!

We offer our very best to The God who is steaming from Zion.

Our own transformation is from Light to light. We are changed by encountering His Light!

The Light makes us lights, and we refracted The Light and attracted all of mankind to The Light. Those that rejected the Light, became and become utterly desolate.

As in the days of Noah (which are like our own days), the whole world was dark, under the pall of funerial sickness. Then a great Light broke in and illuminated all that was turned towards it. We waited beforehand, expectantly until the Light fully shown. And we no longer needed the symbol of the Sun. God Himself was the Light for us, and we shown ourselves like the Son.

He shone and seared through and in His People, and His Holy City until all of mankind had to choose rather to go on pilgrimage towards The Light or to stay in death. He seared us into place with the sheer radiance of His Light! Refining us into our true natures and being. That’s the picture in this passage. So awake, and shine for your Light has come!

And this same Light of His Being, which illuminates everything at the end, broke down into the darkness beforehand in Jesus, to bring His Light to the peoples, to set the captives free (Jesus quotes this passage from Isaiah about Himself). Behold we have seen a great light, already dawning and shining in His People….Welcome to the once and future King, who is The Light of all nations, and illuminates the cosmos itself in His Own Being. This is the light we serve by reflecting it, and being forged by it. This is our Friend in His most sheering and intense expression, symbol and experience of Himself. God is Light, whoever walks in this light, will live.

If you look at this passage as a story, it’s one about the effects of Light.

As soon as you enter Light in the scriptures, you travel all over the place. Great way to enter His Life and Being! Look at the metaphor of light in scripture! Wow. What a  great way to encounter Him—my ultimate Reality Friend!!!

Genesis, Isaiah, the book and thoughts of John, Revelation—everywhere. God is Light, and it shines all the way through the book. Great meditation. The Light that was and is and is to come. It pierced time itself and space!

May the blessings of more of HIs Light fall on us all who are seeking it! God calls Himself Light, it is one of His Names. Good to pay attention to how Light works! We are His little lights on earth. Don’t hide your light beneath a shade. Shine brightly until all see and have a clear choice!

If God’s metaphor of Himself is Light, we are wise to pay attention to the Nature of Light. Genesis, John and Revelation all reveal this basic symbol of who God is! God names Himself as Light, and reveals Himself within the metaphor of radiance itself.

Discovering old special books….

Tonight, in one of my dusty boxes, I found a book which was one of Francis Shaeffer’s-from his library called “Art and the bible”. I studied with his daughter years ago in Switzerland, and she lent me this book.

It still has some of his underlinings in it. How special is that. A father’s book, you weren’t sure you still had. Re-discovered, unexpectedly. Thankful for the continuum of discoveries in this life!

Plus, despite the poor design of the cover, which is unfortunately typical in most christian culture, the book has spiritual seeds which far outlasted Dr Shaeffer.

Lots about the bible as art, and freedom to create, and be creative, since we were made in the image of God, and not having to justify our creativity in religious terms, or even make overtly religious art. Instead, to make authentic valid art and life was, on its own, a way of honoring God! “The act of creativity is priestly in itself, no need to use art to talk about God, rather you are free to live in God, and make what you will before Him!”

Also a nice seed about The Lordship of Christ over every area of life including the arts. Lots of permission to live and celebrate being fully human is also implied in the book.

Not a flashy book, but spiritually potent. Means a lot to me that i still have it. I have so many treasures from the years, born from encounters with so many remarkable people. I am blessed to have had father’s words passed on into my heart and soul.

Some books come and go, but that one stuck.

 Thankful when people take the time to name what they have learned, and pass it on to the next generation!

It’s like the sound of a train whistle or a distant fog horn at night—something which came before you, which keeps on passing through time. The elder’s gifts keep giving far past their lives on earth.

Most people are focused on the now, but I’m growing fond of the past present and future on this passover.

Still thankful that I’ve gotten to meet most of my favorite artist and teachers in my life. What a gift. Hope I can scatter some of their seeds while here, like my distant cousin Johnny Appleseed did. And find and be, the good soil.